39
"Did you already eat?"
I nodded at Arthfael. He removed the jacket that he was wearing and placed it on my back. We're still outside the bar. Both stood there for almost a half hour.
The hug that he gave me earlier last night. After that, we're both quiet. Waiting for who to talk to first. I already fixed myself. I wiped my tears away and said sorry to him for crying so much.
"That's good," he said. "What do you want me to say to you?"
"Everything," I replied, holding the jacket he had given me.
Ngumiti s'ya at tumango saakin. "Saan ba ako magsisimula?" Tanong n'ya sa sarili ko at sandaling tumingala para mag-isip.
Tahimik na nakatitig ako sa kanya. I was waiting for him to confess everything he wanted to confess to me. I wanted to know everything he wanted to tell me.
"Should I start by telling you first that I'm still in love with you? That until now, my feelings haven't changed." He whispered something that made me gasp for air.
Arthfael looked down. "I love you. I still do. And I will never stop loving you."
I bit my lip. I forced myself not to interrupt what he wanted to say because I wanted to hear more.
I stared at his dark eyes, slowly driving my thoughts of what will happen after we have had this closure.
He still loves me.
He did, and I did too.
Will we get back together? Or will we just choose to just have closure to finally mend these broken hearts?
I remembered.
I remembered clearly that he told me before that he didn't believe in second chances. Will we have a second chance?
The cold night breeze is making the atmosphere between us colder. The silence after he said that he loved me was slowly making me sick. The loud music inside the bar suddenly becomes calm and, if this talk was planned, I would probably think that Bryan intentionally played a love song.
"You hurt me back then. You just easily broke up with me and didn't even hesitate to tell me that you could marry me." He started breathing heavily. "But you're not Khaleesi if you don't express your true feelings and thoughts. You're not my Khaleesi if you're not straight forward with your thoughts."
"Are you mad at me?" I couldn't help but ask.
He shakes his head. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself because I knew I was the one who was wrong that time."
I nodded again. My heart is clenching because I can see that pain written in his eyes. I wanted to say sorry again and again. I wanted to do everything just to wipe that pain away from his beautiful eyes.
"I'm more mad at myself because I just let you go and I'm not even doing anything to get you back before. I didn't even do anything to save our relationship. When you tell me you're breaking up with me, I just answered, "I understand" even if I don't."
"Arthfael-" tawag ko sa kanya.
He smiled sadly. "I understand you, but at the same time, I did not."
I couldn't move in my place when I started to see tears forming in his eyes. He looked up and tried to stop it from falling.
This is the first time
The first time that I saw him cry.
"Tangina, parang ang dali naman kasi para sa'yong bitawan 'yung walong taon, Khal." He started sobbing like a kid and couldn't stop his tears anymore.
