30
"What happened?" I worriedly asked my cousins why they were looking at my mom, who was sleeping peacefully on her bed.
My mind is in chaos. My heart kept beating so fast after I heard what my cousins told me.
My mom had a miscarriage.
She was pregnant and she lost the baby...
My heart feels heavy thinking about what my mom might feel because she lost the baby she wanted to have ever since. I knew my parents wanted to have another baby, but my mom couldn't. The baby must be a miracle, but she lost it again.
My cousins didn't answer my question. I was breathing so hard when I felt Arthfael's hand brushing on my shoulder, trying to calm me.
I looked at my mom and stood up when my dad entered the room.
His lips parted and he looked at me after she looked at him.
"I'm so fucked up," he whispered.
Kumunot ang noo ko. Lumapit s'ya saakin at yumakap.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to me, and I don't know what that was for.
"What happened? What did the doctor say? " Nagtataka kong tanong sa kanya.
Daddy pulled out the hugs and shook his head. "Your mom will kill me," he said, as if he was so scared of mommy, and he looked so guilty of something.
Daddy seemed so preoccupied to the point that he didn't answer my question either. Pagod na napahawak ako sa noo ko at naupo sa tabi ni Arthfael matapos lumapit ni Daddy kay mommy at hawakan ang kamay nito.
"What the fuck happened?" I told myself.
Arthfael embraced me. "Your mom will be okay," he whispered to my ears before I faced him.
I smiled a little, sighed, and nodded at him.
I was still worried but felt calm after Arthfael embraced me. The room is filled with the dominance of silence. No one dared to speak until my cousins informed us that they were leaving and would return the next day.
"Will you not leave?" It's already three a.m. Daddy said to me.
I looked at my wrist watch then at Arthfael, who looked sleepy. He still hasn't gotten enough sleep since last night.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked Arthfael.
He smiled at me and shook his head. "Ayos lang na dito muna tayo hanggang magising ang mommy mo. Baka hanapin ka rin niya kapag nagising s'ya,"
"Are you sure?"
He nodded gently.
"Okay," I whispered to him. "Thank you, Arthfael."
"No problem, love. I could just sleep here on the couch. I'm okay, sanay na."
I licked my lips and nodded. I looked at my dad and it seemed like he already knew that we weren't leaving. Nawala ang antok ko dahil sa pag-aalala kay mommy at kahit pa may trabaho bukas ay nanatili akong gising sa buong magdamag.
Arthfael told me to sleep, but I told him I would only sleep if I felt sleepy. He was trying to not sleep too, so I could talk to someone. He felt that I was worried about my mom. His hand was intertwined with mine, and he never let it go.
At four in the morning, Arthfael stopped his sleepiness. Bagsak s'ya sa balikat ko at tulog na tulog na. Nagising lang s'ya ng alas-sais dahil pumasok ang doktor para tingnan si mommy.
