34
"Did you already eat?" I asked Arthfael when I entered our room and saw him lying on the bed with his glasses on and reading a book about biology.
He glanced "Hmm," he just hummed as he answered and got his eyes back on the book.
My heart ached, so I avoided looking at him. I swallowed hard and saw his luggage beside the cabinet. His things are already fixed, and I can see that he added one bag.
I wasn't sure what was inside of it because we weren't the ones who packed it. Maybe it was just him who packed what was inside the bag. He packed it earlier.
I put my things above the side table. Arthfael isn't glancing my way. My steps seemed so heavy when I walked towards the cabinet and opened it to get clothes so I could change.
My lips parted and I could feel them trembling when I saw the upper part of the cabinet was already empty. I gasped and bit my lip.
I looked at the bag above Arthfael's luggage and forced myself not to cry again. I returned my eyes to the cabinet and, with my hand trembling, I got a pair of pajamas.
I walked my way to the bathroom and slowly broke down. Tears started streaming down my face. I covered my mouth so he couldn't hear my sobs.
I still remember the last time I cried. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so hurt.It was eighteen years ago when I almost lost one of my cousins. After that time, I never cried again. I didn't want anyone to see me crying because I always feel like they will never understand how I feel.
Now I'm crying.
I was so hurt and I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.
I was the one who wanted this.
Now I'm suffering.
But I'm not regretting it because I still think that this is the best for the both of us.
I wiped off my tears when I heard him knocking on the bathroom door. My heart panicked and I got up immediately.
"Y-Yes? Do you need something? I'm still changing..." I told him and stopped myself from stuttering.
He stopped knocking. "Nothing. I'm just worried because you're staying there for ten minutes.
I took a deep breath and changed fast. I washed my face too. I was thankful my eyes weren't swollen from crying too much. I opened the bathroom's door and stepped back in shock after I saw Arthfael in front of me.
He was standing and seemed to be waiting for me to come out of the bathroom.
"Are you done?" He asked and stared at my face.
I nodded to him and scoffed a bit. "I'm done changing. You'll use the bathroom?"
Umiling s'ya saakin. "I'm just worried that you took so long."
My lips parted as I watched his expression. He wasn't wearing glasses now and I could take a pick of his piercing eyes that were staring at me. His eyes were as dark as the sky was still the same as how it was before every time it looked at me. It's like something on it was flickering.
But the kind of stare and look that he's giving me right now is slowly making a scratch on my heart. Cold air brushed in between us. I could feel the intensity of every stare that he was giving me right now and my mind was battling if I should say something more and talk to him or just close my mouth because I might cry my heart out right here, right now.
Slowly, Arthfael wrote a smile on his lips.
I was staring at that smile, weighing if it was a true one or a faked one.
