Larsadie

~E-P-I-L-O-G-U-E~

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Sadie's POV

The feeling of excitement is bouncing throughout my entire body as I try and call Lars for the third time in a row. A letter from my dream college just arrived in the mail, and I wanted to open it with him. Although he has high expectations for me, I still have lingering doubt that I got in. "Come on Lars." I say, disappointed as I'm sent to voicemail yet again. While trying to call him for a fourth time, I start to put on my shoes. "If you won't answer the phone," I say, propping the phone on my shoulder, pressing it against my face, struggling to slip my right shoe on. "I'll just come to you!" I snatch the letter off of my bed and begin to go up the stairs.

He can't still be asleep, can he?

It's almost 5pm.

Walking outside, I'm sent to voicemail. This time, I decide to leave a message. "Hey! Uh, I got a letter from CU! I wanted to open it with you," I keep walking in the direction of Lars house. "I'll be over in a few minutes. Be ready to comfort me when I cry!" I laugh, "Ok, well, I'll see you...I love you." Hanging up, I start to do a light jog. My hand clutches the letter tightly, thinking the wind could easily take it away.

What am I going to do if it's a rejection letter.

I mean, it won't be so bad.

Even though I try and look at the positives, my brain combats the positivity with negativity.

I won't amount to anything if I'm denied.

Community college is for losers.

"Come on, Sadie." I say to myself, trying to focus. "It's going to be okay, no matter what the results are." After a few minutes, I reach Lars house. The doorbell chimes as I ring it...but no answer. I ring it again, and again. And again and again and again. Still, there's no answer. "Lars..." I groan. My fists start to bang on the door. Then, I begin to yell his name. "Lars!!" 

BANG BANG BANG

"LARS!"

BANG BANG BANG

Suddenly, the door opens. He stands severely slouched. He's shirtless, but I can clearly see the indentation lines of blankets all over his body. His sweats are barely covering his boxers, which are also sagging just a bit. His faces seems half asleep and really mad, and his hair is slicked back with sweat from being stuck in a deep sleep. "WHAT!!" He yells, and I try not to take his reaction to heart. I chuckle weakly,

"Lars, it's five pm. Why were you asleep?"
"Because I'm flipping tired, Sadie."
"Sorry," I say, starting to get defensive. Stepping inside, he closes the door behind me. "I just wanted to come by and tell you my CU letter got delivered today." His eyes immediately wake up, and he's fully attentive now.
"Oh jeez," he says, "Have you opened it yet?" I shake my head no, walking over to his couch. I take a seat and Lars sits beside me. I pause, and hold the closed letter in my hands.

This could change...everything.

As my mind starts to suck me in to a deep thought, Lars reaches out and holds my hand. He strokes it with his thumb ever so softly, knowing I'm scared. "It's okay..." He says. Taking a deep breath, I rip the letter open. Slowly, I slip the letter out of the envelope. "You ready?" I nod.

This is it.

Then, I open the letter. The first word that hits my face is;

Congratulations.

I scream, dropping the letter and shooting up from the couch. "OH MY GOD IM IN!"
"WHAT!?" He exclaims, picking up the letter to read it himself.
"OH MY GOD IM IN IM IN!! I MADE IT TO COASTAL UNIVERSITY!!" I squeal and jump around the whole room. I laugh and feel tears swelling up in my eyes. Stopping to look at Lars, I see he isn't celebrating with me. Chuckling, I stop. "W-What's wrong? Scared your girlfriend is smarter than you?" He looks at me, his face turned down to a frown.
"Sadie..." he says, shaking his head in disbelief, "You...you can't go."
"What?" I chuckle once more, thinking he's joking. But he isn't. "What do you mean I can't go? I'm going."

"I don't want you to go!"
"Lars," I say, still in disbelief that this is his response to this amazing news. "I'm going to college, why aren't you happy for me?"
"I am! It's just, I don't want you to go without me. Coastal is on the other side of the country!" I walk over to him, and try grabbing his hand but he tugs them away.
"We could do long distance!" I say, smiling, "And I will always come down for the breaks!" He shakes his head, and I don't know how to comfort him. He seemed to be stuck thinking in his brain.

I wonder what he's thinking.

Lars POV

She's going to party. She's going to drink. She's going to cheat.

My brain won't stop swirling all around her potential college life and I feel it slowly killing me. I toss the letter on the coffee table, feeling sick to my stomach.

She's going to drink. She's going to smoke. She's going to-

"Lars." Sadie says, calling me back to reality. "Lars, please, it's going to be okay."
"B-B-But-"
"We can make this work!"
"NO!" I say, feeling so many emotions flowing through me. "It can't work! It doesn't ever work!" I fall back on to the couch, my fingers gripping my hair, "You're going to meet new people, make new friends. I'm going to be stuck in this STUPID town!" My anger is slowly starting to boil.

"Hey I hate the thought of me being so far away, but this is my DREAM college!"
"You're going to be leaving me behind!"
"I'll try and call you every day! Facetime you whenever I can. Hang out with you during Spring, Summer, Fall AND Winter break-"
"That's not enough!"
"Why aren't you happy for me!?" She exclaims, getting as mad as I am. I stand and get close to her, and we begin to argue, and it's starting to get bad.

"I'm going to lose you if you go, Sadie. Is that what you want? To get away from me!?"
"Lars this isn't about you! Just say 'congratulations', it's not hard!"
"You always try and make these situations about YOU!" Sadie groans loudly, and I continue, "You never think about US, it's always YOU!"
"You're thinking about YOU, Lars. I ALWAYS think about us."

"Then chose!" I yell, which makes her freeze.
"W-What?" I cross my arms, knowing I'm going to win this fight.
"Chose. It's either me...or college."
"Lars, y-you can't be serious?" I stand my ground. "Oh my god you're SERIOUS!?"
"I'm serious about US so YES, I'm serious!" She stands in front of me, unresponsive. Her eyes look at me, straight to my eyes. Her softens soften, and they begin to water. My own body language begins to weaken at the sight of her crying. 

She's choosing college.

"Sadie" I whisper, feeling myself start to cry. "Please, don't. I-..."I fall to my knees, bringing her close to me in a hug. We both cry, but she resists my hug, trying to wiggle out of my grip. My grip weakens as I cry, and she's able to get my arms off of her.
"No, Lars." She mutters, shaking her head. Sadie wipes her eyes. "I..." She looks at me, one last time. "I'm sorry." She grabs the letter and walks out the front door. My body stays kneeled, unmoved. My chest begins to ache, at the stupid ultimatum I made.

I screwed up.

After she left, I kind of zoned out, kneeling there in the living room. The sound of crickets echo and I realize it's now night time, and the door was still wide open from when Sadie ran out.

I...can't believe she left me.

The anger slowly comes back to me, but is quickly replaced with sadness. I make it to the door, and close it. Sighing, I rub my face, and realize I have been crying nonstop for awhile. But, I don't care. Slowly, I make it up the stairs, heading to my bedroom. The door was open, so I didn't have to make the extra effort to open the door. My body felt so out of it, and numb at the same time. I collapse face first on to my bed. My back curls, and my shoulders jolt as I begin to sob my heart out. Although Sadie and I had always had our fights, I had a huge feeling that this would be the very last time.

We're done.

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