Vontae P.O.V
It had been a hard couple of months for me. Like extremely hard. I didn't even know what I wanted to do at this point. I was in my car aimlessly driving around in hopes of clearing my head. I had a lot on it. For starters, everyone that knew me personally knew I was...gay. I guess. I didn't go screaming it but it happened anyway. The day that Marco...you know, I had lost it. His heart had gave out. I couldn't take that shit. I remember finally making it to the hospital with him and it seemed like he didn't even matter to them. Long story short I threatened everybody in that room to help.
My brother ended up there, along with my dad which was weird. He claimed he had been calling me and when I didn't answer he stopped by and saw my brother leaving so now he's here. I mean I guess.
He had questioned me on why I was crying the way I was and threatening people. Not that as a friend I couldn't do that shit too, but I was acting like an overprotective spouse. If that's what you wanna call it. I could only respond with one thing to the whole group
"BECAUSE HES MINE AND IM NOT LETTING THEM TAKE HIM FROM ME. He's mine" I screamed at them. Shortly after came my breakdown. That was probably the hardest day of my life. And now I just had to deal with the homophobic assholes in my life. My brother was cool. He already was. Juan and Sabias were dating so Ik they were cool about it. Now I don't think Marco told Sabias but he acted like it wasn't news to him.
Were we that obvious?
Some of the dudes I called my friends called me all types of slurs and shit. Saying I wasn't a real man. I'm still not sure how they even found out. Maybe someone from the hospital? I didn't even care about that. Seeing him hurt made everything in me that wanted to make myself stay in the closet shatter. My baby was broken. I was supposed to fix him. I didn't...
My dad...was mad. Pissed off actually. He was so mad at me for keeping it from him. He said "A real man gone be himself and not give a fuck about others niggas opinions". Like when the fuck did you become and ally my nigga? Maybe it was just because I was his son. He had been coming around alot more. It at least felt good to have at least one supportive parent. When my mother found out she slapped the dog shit out me and started calling me names.
"That's not how we raised you," I'm like bitch you barely raised me at all. My dad was trying now tho and that's what mattered. He was actually pretty cool when he wasn't tryna be on some prophetic shit. I think that's the word. Nigga had too many quotes and life lessons.
I finally had my own place. I decided it was time for me to move out of my brothers house. I mean I should have stayed because fuck these bills and fuck being an adult.
Maybe I should get some food. Yea I should. I'll just get some McDonald's or sum. It was late at night.
_____________________________________
After making it back to my house, I cut the engine off and I walked to the front door. I walked to my couch sitting my food down and turning in the TV. Damn. My mind is back on Marco. I miss him. I just miss everything about him. His face, his smile, his body, his hair. Just everything. I'm really gay out here. I mean it kinda seemed like I couldn't get hard for females anymore, but I didn't see myself being with another man the way I was with Marco. Maybe because he's the one that made me gay.
After finishing my food I decided to go take a shower and get some sleep. I walked upstairs to my room and took off all of my clothes, tossing them into the dirty clothes hamper.
I looked at myself in the mirror, releasing a deep breathe. I looked into the mirror and past me to see eyes watching me.
"What?," I asked waiting for a response which I never got. I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed what I needed for my shower and walked into the bathroom. I turned on the hot water and felt the need to pee, so I did that before I got in.
I stepped into my shower and stood under the hot shower water letting in rain down on me. I heard my shower curtain open and I knew who it was so I didn't turn around.
I felt arms wrap around my waist and soft kiss be placed on the back of my neck. I turned to look at him. Just staring at him. He held me closer once I turned around. I kissed him. Man. This nigga was good at kissing.
"Where you been?," He asked me laying his head on my shoulder, still holding me.
"I just needed to get some air. I was just driving around," I responded watching him nod his head on my shoulder.
"I missed you," He said now looking at me again, with a small smile.
"I missed you too," I told him. I did.
"Come one. Let's wash up," He said grabbing the soap. I'm tired as fuck.
_____________________________________
I was now laying on his chest, drifting off to sleep while he rubbed my back. I had one of my hands on his head rubbing his waves and snuggling more into his chest. This nigga was more comfortable than my bed. I swear he was.
"Baby?," I heard him call me. What now nigga?
"Yea," I answered him after a pause.
"Can I take you out tomorrow?," He asked me, still rubbing my back.
"I'm not sure if I'll feel like doing anything. I haven't really felt like it since...you know," I told him lowly. I was still fucked about what happened. I hadn't been doing any hanging or chilling with anyone. It was all my fault.
"Yea, I know. I'm sorry. I just thought maybe we could get out the house. We need it," He said sighing, in response to my answer. I just shrugged my shoulders and snuggled into him harder to try and get closer to him. If that was even possible.
"I'll think about," I said closing my eyes. I would think about it honestly. Maybe he was right. It would be kinda nice to get out. Not like I had to really hide shit now. The people I didn't want to find out the most all know. It was like whatever happens, happens now. "Actually yea. We can do something. Maybe just like go eat or something at least. Sum light,"
"That would be cool. We can go wherever you want to go," He said to me, placing a kiss on the top of my head.
"Ok," I said feeling myself wander off into sleep.
