It's My Choice (Book 1)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"Do you want me to go with you?" Tom asked. He looked worried.

"I need to do this myself. I'll be fine." I kissed him then got out of the car. I felt Tom's eyes on me as I walked to the front door. With every step I took, my heart would speed up. It felt as if my heart was going a thousand miles an hour. By the time I stood before the door, my heart was ready to jump out of my chest.

Slowly, I raised my hand, but couldn't get myself to knock. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I felt sweat starting to form. To get it over with, I quickly knocked. The door opened and there he stood.

"Annie." He said; a small smile formed on his lips. I stood there trying to tell him, but he spoke before I could say anything. "Is it me?" he asked.

I looked down at the ground, "I'm so sorry, Matt." I felt horrible, I could die of guilt. I couldn't make myself look at him, it was too hard. "It's not you. I'm sorry." I apologized again. "I thought you deserved to know in person. I'm sorry." I said again and walked away.

I held back tears, not only so Tom wouldn't see me cry for another man, but because I had to be strong. I might have lost someone, but I kept someone else.

I couldn't look back not only because I didn't want to look at Matt and run back to him, I loved Matt, what I felt for him was real, but Tom is my guy. There are many reasons why I didn't choose Matt and the main reason was: when he leaves again then the cycle will continue, I would most likely continue seeing Tom, and there's no way I could ever stop talking to Tom. I needed him, I need him.

"Is everything ok?" Tom asked as I got in the car.

I wiped my eyes then looked at him, "I'm fine."

He kissed my cheek, "Ok." He started the car and started driving.

We stopped at gas station and got some snacks for the road. While we were there, I took a coffee; I was hungry and needed breakfast.

Even though I had officially broken up with Matt, I still couldn't stop shaking. I wasn't shaking as much, but I think Tom noticed, but said nothing. I'm glad he didn't because that would just make things worse and I wouldn't be able to take it. It was easier this way, if Tom tried soothing me, then it would just open the door for me to break down and I don't want Tom to see that.

We got in the car and started driving. This time, he played different music. He played The Lumineers' Ho Hey, Mumford and Sons' I will wait, and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' Your Guardian Angel. It was much different from what we listened to last time.

I thought it was a good way for us to communicate. I played a few songs of my own. I played Taylor Swift's Enchanted and Ours, Tegan and Sara's Closer, and when I played Katy Perry's E.T. I saw a smile spread across Tom's face.

We continued from there, taking turns with the music. He surprised me with Jay Houston's Pretty Woman.

"I am not a prostitute." I laughed, "Or is that how you see me?" I asked, "Well, I guess I am a slut." I said under my breath.

"No, not at all." He quickly skipped the song and lowered the volume. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you."

"So you do think I'm a whore?" I interrupted.

"No, that's not what I meant. You took it the wrong way. It's just that you're a pretty hot woman." He was quiet for a moment. "Annie, you're not a whore. Why would you say that?"

"Because I am one. I slept with you while with someone else. And it wasn't just once, but four or five times. I understand if you think I'm a whore. I'm not going get mad if you agree." I said. "I've got to tell you something." I said breaking the silence. "Mike kissed me yesterday."