I woke up facing Tom who was still asleep. Today will be a day different than the rest. Today marks three weeks. Never have I been nervous as I am right now. Today can change my life or not. I was afraid.
I laid there on my side watching Tom sleep. His peaceful face helped me calm down. I rested my hand on his cheek and hoped that whatever happens doesn’t change us or our relationship. I moved closer to him and lightly kissed his cheek.
He took a deep breath and turned on his back. I moved away and turned away from him. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep, but really I wanted to forget.
* * * * ~ ~ ~ ~ * * * * ~ ~ ~ ~ * * * *
We went to the store I had gone the first time. Tom held onto my hand refusing to let go. I was able to tell that he too was nervous. We stared at the test and we finally decided on one and I as I reached out for it my hand shook.
We walked to the front of the store and it was the same clerk from last time. He looked down at the test then up at us. He scoffed then mumbled something that sounded like ‘again’.
“You have something to say?” Tom asked.
The man looked frightened, “No, nothing.”
He handed us the bag and Tom took it, “I didn’t think so.” Tom still holding onto my hand pulled me out of the store and helped me in the car.
It was a quiet ride back to his loft, but he still held my hand. As we got closer I felt my heart speed up. Tom stopped the car and quickly went to my side to open the car door. He took my hand as we made our way inside.
With each step up the stairs my heart would speed up. By the time we reached the top I heard my heart pounding in my ears. As Tom opened the door, my breathing got heavier. I took deep breaths to calm myself, but it only made it worse.
As we neared the bathroom, I swear that if I looked down my heart would be jumping out of my chest like in cartoons. Tom let go of my hand and entered, I stood by the door trying to make myself go inside. I couldn’t.
After a couple of moments of fighting myself, I stepped into the bathroom. Tom was by the counter; he took out the test from the bag then opened the box and pulled out the stick. He handed to me and I saw his hand shake.
I tried to smile at him to reassure him that I was ok, but I couldn’t do it. As I reached for the stick my hand shook.
“Coul…could you…can you wait outside?” I asked; it came out almost a whisper.
He nodded and slowly walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
I stood there staring at the stick in my shaking hands. I set it on the counter and opened the door.
Tom was leaning against the wall across from the door and as soon as he saw me moved closer to me.
“Now we wait.” I said. I walked over to the living room and Tom followed. I took a seat and buried my face in my hands.
“Annie,” Tom said, “no matter what the test says, I will love you and nothing will change between us, ok?” I looked up at him and nodded. He kissed my head then pulled me into a hug. We were there hugging until Tom pulled away. “It’s been three minutes.” He took my hand and pulled me to the bathroom. “Remember, whatever it says it’s not going to change anything between us.” He took my face in his hands and kissed me.
We went into the bathroom. As soon as I saw it I felt my heart drop and a tear escape the corner of my eye.
“Oh, my God.” I whispered.
* * * * ~ ~ ~ ~ * * * * ~ ~ ~ ~ * * * *
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