Heart of Diamond (Heart Series #5)

T H I R T E E N

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Might be love

"Hey, Primm!" tawag sa akin ni Zek.

Malawak ang ngiti niya at tila ba masaya sa kung ano man ang nais niyang sabihin sa akin.

These past few days, I, Zek and Rhythm had been a bit closer to each other. Though, there's still the hesitation in me, I couldn't hide the fact that I am slowly accepting them in my life— openly.

Napapadalas ang pag-imbita nila sa akin na kumain at napapadalas na rin ang pagtanggap ko ng mga imbitasyon nila. It softened me knowing that there are people who actually want to jam with me; that someone out there actually want to be friends with me. And it saddened me for the reason that I am still being wary of the things surrounding me.

To be honest, I would want to find real friends. Someone new. Someone whom I could lean on.

It's hard being friendly but you don't have any friends. You know, that feeling na ang dami mong kakilalang ngingitian, nakakatawanan, nakakabiruan... but the sad part is that they're not your friends. You're not part of their group.

A feeling of being friendly yet friendless.

The day after Prof. Gonzalez did to me, he was immediately arrested. Hindi iyon pinalampas ni Dad at ni Mom. Natanggal na ang lisensiya ni Professor at hindi na rin siya makakabalik pa ng trabaho. I didn't ask them kung ilaw taon siyang mananatili sa kulungan. I am not happy that this happened. And if I could turn back the time, I would pay more respect and kindness to him, for him to realize that there are more good things in the world.

"Yep?" sagot ko.

Inaayos ko ang mga kagamitan kong nasa loob ng locker. Pansin ko kasi na nitong mga nakaraang araw ay hindi ko na ito nalilinisan. Hindi na organized ang mga nasa loob.

"Oh... Love letters!" Manghang saad ni Zek.

I chuckled and shook my head. "Yeah... love letters," buryo kong sabi.

She picked up all the love letters that are placed on top of my bag. Inilagay ko muna ang mga ito doon dahil inaayos ko pa ang locker ko. Madalas kasi ay may naghuhulog ng mga letters sa loob kaya mas lalong nagiging madumi.

Even so, I don't have any problem with the love letters. I appreciate everyone who wrote something for me and exerted an effort to slip it inside my locker. Pero hindi ko pa nababasa ang mga iyan. More like... ayokong basahin.

"You don't sound so happy," aniya. "Why? I mean, you should be! Sa dami ng love letters na ito, hindi ka ba masaya? Aren't you happy knowing that these people admired you?"

I sighed. "Of course, I am, Zek. It's just that... I feel so... you know, different. Bakit ako lang ang may love letters na ganito karami? Dapat ang iba rin mayroon. I don't like this. Though, I appreciate all of these, I still don't like the part that people are admiring me this hard." Muli akong bumuntong-hininga. "Tsaka, malay natin, hindi pala lahat ng mga nakasulat diyan love letter."

"Hindi mo ba binabasa ang mga ito?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Nope. I don't want to."

"So, tinatapon mo ang mga ito?"

"Hindi rin. Dinadala ko sa bahay tapos nilalagay ko sa boxes na nasa room ko."

She nodded. "Aren't you worried that someone wrote to you just to ask for help? Kasi hindi ba nga, hindi mo binabasa ang mga ito? Paano pala kung may nanghihingi ng tulong sayo tapos hindi mo natulungan dahil hindi mo binasa."