Heart of Diamond (Heart Series #5)

T W E N T Y - F I V E

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...

Tiwala

Days passed and my condition went worse. My mood swings went even severe. Pansin kong mas lumalala ang pagbago-bago ng mood ko. Madalas na rin akong nagagalit o naiinis. Maliit na bagay ay pinapalaki ko.

I could sense that Simour is just trying to lengthen his patience towards me but I know that he's a volcano ready to explode anytime. Madalas ko rin naman itong napagtanto pero hindi ko alam kung bakit kahit anong iwas kong magkagulo kami ni Simour ay ako pa ang nagsisimula ng away. It devastates me thinking that I might be the reason that what we have would be destroyed.

I feel like I grew toxic as days passed by. Alam kong epekto ito ng pagbubuntis ko pero gusto ko pa rin sanang iwasan. Ayoko ng maraming gulo.

"Hey, Primm," bungad sa akin ni Zek.

She's on the other line and we're talking using skype. After they came back to La Seriah, they'd been non-stop calling me.

"Hey, Zek. I know that you're gonna ask me if I'm okay, so, no. I am not okay," wika ko habang sapo ang noo.

Sobrang dami kong iniisip ngayon, lalo na nitong nakaraan. I had been stressed with my pregnancy specially experiencing this mood swings and cravings. Idagdag pa na palagi kaming nag-aaway ni Simour. Tapos may mga babae pa na pilit kaming sinisira dalawa na talagang nakakaapekto sa relasyon namin.

Yes, I told myself not to trust anyone unless it's Simour who told me so. Pero hindi ko mapigilan, eh. I could feel myself getting livid whenever they're near. Minsan pa ay naiisipan kong makipagsabunutan na lang sa kanila.

She sighed on the other line. "Primm, I know that you're pregnant and that you're having mood swings which affect your attitude but please try to clear your mind sometimes. Nag-aalala ako sayo. Baka mapaano ka pa diyan kung pananatilihin mo iyan."

Napailing ako saka napabuntong-hininga. "Zek, I don't want this either. I don't like this side of me. I am so mean!"

"Normal lang naman iyan sa isang buntis, Primm. But of course, just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can say any bad things you want to say and do bad things you want to do. Makakasira iyan sa relationship ninyo ni Sim. Ayaw mo naman siguro na umabot kaayo doon, diba?"

I licked my lower lips. Mas lalo tuloy akong na-stress sa mga sinasabi niya.

"Zek, hindi ko nga ito sinasadya. This is not my fault. It's the mood swings that's talking—"

"But you have a mind of your own, Primm. You can still stop those bad things from happening. Prevention is better than cure, remember?" aniya.

I pursed my lips. Pinakikinggan ko naman siya. Nakikinig naman ako sa kanila. Pero talagang lumalagpas lang ang sinasabi nila sa kabilang tenga ko.

"Oo na. Sinusubukan ko namang pigilan, eh," wika ko.

She sighed. "Should I say try harder?" aniya.

I rolled my eyes. "I am trying my hardest, alright? Those women are just really trying my patience. They were always blocking my way and talk shits about Simour. They would often tell me about how good Simour in bed is. And I hate it, alright!"

Hindi pa rin talaga ako tinitigilan ni Brielle at ni Krizza. Tapos mas dumarami pa ang mga babaeng kakampi nila sa pang-iinis sa akin.

I actually don't know the purpose why they're doing this to me? Sa pagkakaalala ko, maayos naman ako sa kanila, ah. Wala akong ginawang ikakasakit nila.