State of Seduction. // Dean Winchester COMPLETE

44.

Nobody ever realises how unprepared they are for pregnancy until they're already pregnant. What was even worse was that I hadn't even realised that I'd been missing my period for more than two weeks. I was shocked and I was freaked out, but something comforted me in the fact that I hadn't even thought of abortion as an option. Something inside me told me that I wanted, that I needed, to have this child. For a while, I thought that maybe I wanted to keep it just so that Dean didn't leave Chicago again, before I realised that he wouldn't leave anyway, and even if he did, I would have gone with him. Dean leaving was not why I wanted to have this baby. I wanted to have it because I wanted to start a family with Dean Winchester. It was unplanned and the timing wasn't perfect - we hadn't been together for that long - but I knew that I loved him.

As soon as Olivia had mentioned to me that she believed that I was pregnant, I went straight to the drugstore and bought three different home pregnancy tests, something inside me wishing they were negative so that I wouldn't have to deal with the stress of a baby and so that I could keep hunting, but another part wanting the results to come out positive. Which they did. All three of them. There was no doubt that I was pregnant, and it Dean Winchester's child. The only problem now was telling Dean, and worrying about what his reaction would be. I was scared that he wouldn't want the child and that he would want me to get rid of it, which I wasn't sure how long that window would be opened for. That was the reason that I had known I was pregnant for two weeks and hadn't told Dean yet.

The TV in our apartment's living room was playing an episode of Teen Mom and I looked at the bulging stomachs of the teenagers and their smiling faces, wondering how, at sixteen and seventeen, they could be so happy and could deal with having a child where I was twenty-four, in a stable relationship with the financial and supportive means to have this baby and I felt less ready then any of those teenagers. I was sitting on the couch beside Kevin in my dressing gown, seeing as when I had tried to put on my favourite skinny jeans that morning, they had felt too tight, which from the help of google, was because my uterus was swollen. Everyone was over in the apartment, drinking alcohol and celebrating while I stayed on the couch watching Teen Mom and drinking orange juice like an underaged teenager.

"Want some vodka in that juice, Kay? Vodka's good for a celebration!" Trent called from the kitchen bench, where he brandished a half empty bottle of vodka in my direction, but I turned it down immediately. Trent seemed confused, but didn't press the issue any further and I was glad, because at any other point in my life I had been a huge drinker, but now that I was pregnant, I had to stay sober for this kid. I turned my body away from the stupid MTV show and looked at my friends and family, laughing and having fun because we were now stress free with nobody coming after us. I watched Dean, throwing his head back when he laughed and drinking his beer with those lips that kissed mine so tenderly, yet so intensely at the same time. God, I was so in love with him. And if I was being honest with myself, the way I rarely was, I couldn't wait to bring up a child with him.

"What are you looking at, freak?" Dean asked as he stood up from the table and wondered over to me, kissing my hair softly and smiling at me. Watching him, I knew he needed to know, that he deserved to know exactly what was growing inside of me, something that the two of us had created together. I smiled back at him, feeling free for the first time in so long. But just as soon as the feeling of freedom hit me, it dissipated when I remembered that Dean still didn't know of my pregnancy and that his reaction was still that of unknown. I caught Olivia's eye from across the room and I sent her a pleading question, to which she nodded and I knew that today would be the day I told Dean that I was carrying his child.