State of Seduction. // Dean Winchester COMPLETE

36.

Dean was at the motel when I went looking for him. The same motel, the same room, that had been the sacred spot that we had first slept together. Sam had given me the key to Dean's room and when I had walked in, I found the room in pure darkness and Dean sleeping in the exact same bed we had slept in together. I didn't wake him up with a kiss or a light shake of his shoulder and then proceed to apologize to him. I was still mad at him, I just wasn't interested in losing him over another stupid fight between us. I walked to the windows and yanked the curtains apart, letting sunlight stream into the room and straight to where Dean's face was smitten with the pillows. Seconds after the sun splayed on his face, he woke up groggy and looking pissed but also half asleep. He barely raised his head from the mountain of pillows as he squinted and glared at me.

"Turn off the light, Kale," I rolled my eyes. Dean must have been as pissed with me as I was with him, seeing as it was only a rare occurrence that he would even call me by my first name and when he did he was either on the verge of tears or ready to rip my throat out. This time I was pretty sure he wasn't going to start crying and grovelling at my feet, especially because even though we both knew that I had the right to get mad and yell and leave him in my dust, I overreacted a ton and that wasn't really all that fair on him.

"Its the sun, Dean," I probably could have spoken to him a little nicer, seeing as I had essentially come here to apologize and make up with him but I don't know, being around him had me on edge and fire in my veins, even though I knew I shouldn't feel that way around him. Maybe it was just because I was still super mad. I knew that if it was anybody else, I wouldn't be so mad, it was just because Cora, my friend was involved this time, and she was essentially the bad guy. Dean rubbed at his eyes and continued to squint as his eyes grew accustomed to the sudden brightness and he yawned, pushing the covers off of him and getting up before realizing he was only in his boxers and quickly pulling a pair of jeans on, as if I had never seen him naked before.

"What are you doing here?" He mumbled as he searched through the thrown covers for a shirt, unable to find one, before he just stood in front of me and glared, "I thought we were in the middle of some stupid blow out because you're so uptight and I'm just trying to protect you," I tried my best to ignore his jibe because I knew that he was just as mad as I was but it was hard. A muscle in my jaw twitched as he told me I was uptight and it took everything I had not to punch him, but I managed to hold myself back and keep my reply to his jibbing at an annoyed eye roll. I half expected him to tell me that if I kept rolling my eyes, they would roll straight out of my head like he would have if we hadn't of been fighting, but we were so he stayed silent.

"Well I did come to apologize," I half turned towards the door, "But if you're going to be an asshole, I'll leave you to it," I took only one step when I felt Dean move and his hand was clutched tight around my wrist, stopping me from going anywhere and kind of hurting. I pulled at his grip but he didn't let it go and so I just turned back to face him. I figured that this conversation would probably go quicker if we both actually conversed.

"No," Dean said, "I'm sorry," With his apology, his grip on my wrist slackened and I pulled it back, rubbing it and watching him as if his apology was just a fake and a vampire or something was going to jump out of a corner and scare the crap out of me. But nothing happened and Dean just looked at me with a sombre expression, like he had meant the apology. I just sighed, why were  the two of us so freaking stupid? All we ever seemed to do was fight.

"Am I the only one in this relationship who is so totally done with all the lies and the fights? I feel like that's all we ever do and I'm so finished with it, Dean," He stayed quiet for a while after I spoke, seemingly taking in everything I had said.

"Relationship?" I thought that I had been done with the eye rolling and moved onto sighing, but the fact that the only word Dean had picked up from my whole statement was relationship, I couldn't resist doing it again.

"Is that seriously the only thing you picked up?"

"I didn't know you thought about us like that," His voice was teasing with an underlying layer of seriousness. He was still angry, but he was more worried about the future instead of the present now. Which was actually a really good thing.

"God," I threw my head back in annoyance, "Why are we so stubborn!" I counteracted my head movement by throwing my hands up in frustration, why couldn't one of us admit that no matter how much we fought, we'd always find our way back to each other? And then I realized what Dean had said, "Wait, don't you think of us like that?" I was physically drained of anger, I had spent too long being mad at him to be angry anymore. Now I stared at him, my hands slack by my sides as I cocked my head to the side.

"No--" He backtracked before he sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, "No, Reed, I do think of this as a relationship. I mean, I'm totally in love with you, do you understand that? That's why I didn't tell you and that's why I do the things I do. Because I'm in love with you, and I may as well admit that now, who knows what will cause the next fight? But I love you, okay?"

A smile spread across my face as he spoke, had he really just said that? "Yeah, Dean, I get it," I told him, "Because I love you too," Then he kissed me, which was really nice and I had really missed the feeling of his lips on mine and his prickly beard brushing like a nice kind of sandpaper on my chin and upper lip. And it was true, I did love him, and as weird and foreign as the feeling was to me, I knew it was true. There was no point in denying it, I may have never felt this kind of feeling before, but that's what made me so sure it was real, because I had never felt anything remotely similar. It was so weird, falling in love for the first time, and it didn't come without problems, but it was nice. I liked the feeling, and I knew Dean did too.


i'm actually so ashamed of this chapter, i just couldn't write it. so, sorry. hopefully writers block will get lost soon and i'll update again soon.