State of Seduction. // Dean Winchester COMPLETE

28.

The Crimson Plague. A disease that was hundreds of thousands of years old, something that started with a bloody cough but would eventually graduate to bleeding of the pores and then bleeding from the neck as if by magic. The bad news, it was fatal. The good news, it could only be caught by contagious air particles from someone who had been coughing or breathing with the disease landing in an open wound of blood. The even worse news was the fact that Jake Sully, the man who had tortured me while I had been kidnapped by Dallas had the disease, and while he was carving me up, I remembered him taking several breaks to cough, though I hadn't noticed his blood because his hands had already been covered in mine. And seeing as we had been in such proximity, I had contracted the virus.

The disease was slow working at first; and took nearly two months to surpass the coughing up blood stages. There had been time after time where people had gone to hospitals, having no idea what was happening but knowing that there was something wrong if they were coughing up blood, and then there had been people like me who kept everything to themselves because other things were more important and they thought they were okay in the end. Needless to say, none of them survived. The first two months were the easiest, hardly knowing anything was wrong, but after those two months were up you started to deteriorate a lot quicker, the blood began to seep from your pores until finally it came from your neck somehow. I was in the midst of accepting that I was going to die, and I wasn't going to lie, I was freaking out.

Accepting that you were going to die from a disease you accidentally contracted from the guy torturing you wasn't the same as accepting you were going to give up your life to save the lives of your brothers. Dying by illness wasn't classy, it wasn't poetic or beautiful, and it wasn't the way I wanted to go out. When I died, I wanted it to be under my terms, I wanted to know exactly when and why I was going and I wanted to have everything in order the way I wanted before I left. Dying because of some stupid plague Jake Sully picked up who knows where wasn't part of my plan, and even though I knew I would be dead within the month, it didn't stop me wasting all my time that I had left and crying in my room.

I didn't understand how other people in the world with terminal illnesses and cancer could get their affairs in order before they died and I couldn't even get up from bed. Castiel had swooped in and albeit, saved me from something that could have potentially damaged me, but he had delivered the worst possible news of my life and all because he was an angel and Dean Winchester had asked him to look out for me. I don't know where Castiel had gotten off on being all knowing or delivering to young woman that they would die inside the month, but I didn't want to know. Personally, if I had woken up and started bleeding out of my pores and then from my neck and died soundly within the day, I would have been okay, I didn't want to know before it happened. Though I guessed it was good because now Mason and Trent were able to get closure and say goodbye, but even they hadn't said a word to me in three days and every time I went to the kitchen to get food, all I saw was them acting sketchy while they mumbled on the phone before the stopped talking when I walked in.

Now that I actually knew my bloody coughing wasn't going to go away and would only get worse, I felt sick. My body felt heavy and weak and I wanted to throw up half of the day, but I never could, no matter how hard I tried. I could feel eye make-up smudged under my eyes because of the constant crying that never seemed to stop. Wiping under my eyes with the scratchy material that was a knitted jumper, I pulled it away revealing black on the grey sleeve and sure that even my wipe hadn't even made a dent in the black cake around my eyes. Running my hands over my face and pulling in a shaky breath, my door edged open. Assuming it was Mason, I turned to face him as I pulled a tissue towards my mouth to cough into it, pulling it away bloody and throwing it into the bin that was full of other dirty tissues filled with my blood. I swore that every time I coughed, more blood came out.

But the person at the door was not my brother and it wasn't Trent, or even Castiel who had dropped by a few times to touch my forehead and take some of the pain that was building up inside of me away, seeing as even his all knowing angel powers couldn't take away The Crimson Plague because it was some sort of deadly supernatural disease. The person at the door was Dean Winchester and he looked sombre and sad all at once as he closed the door behind him and came to perch next to my bed, his hand running over mine, warm and calloused, just as I remembered, before he captured it and held it close to his lips before kissing it softly and pulling away to look at me, all the while I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I didn't know whether I wanted to cry some more or scream that he was here, seeing as I had tried so hard to lock him up in a drawer in my head and let him go, but I found myself wanting to kiss him. But I wouldn't, just in case saliva passed the virus as well, even though I was sure that it didn't.

"What are you doing here?" My voice was croaky because I hadn't used it in several days except to sob and the racking coughs that rocked me every few minutes had probably damaged my vocal chords. Dean ran his thumb over mine as he re-intertwined our fingers and looked down at them while I watched him with tears in my eyes. I still wasn't able to stop them even though I was in his presence, and I wasn't even sure if I was crying over the Crimson Plague or Dean himself anymore. I didn't even know if I wanted him here. As much as I wanted him to be one of the last things I saw before I died, I didn't want him to watch me die and I didn't want to have to re-open that drawer and all the pain and hurt come hurdling out.

"Mason called me," As surprised as I was by his answer, I didn't really care all too much. I think I had suspected something along the lines of Mason calling Dean as I watched him make his shady phone calls and stop while I was around to hear him, seeing as I knew Mason didn't have a drug dealer. I paused before I replied to cough again, the raspy sound ripping through my throat and making me sound like I had whooping cough, which was probably another symptom of the plague.

"I'm sorry," I don't really know why I said it. I mean, sure, I was sorry for so many things. Not asking him to stay being top of the list, but I had a feeling that wasn't the main reason I was apologizing to him. Dean looked at me with his eyebrows raised to his hairline, surprised that that was the first thing I had said to him.

"Why?" And suddenly, his single question evoked so much pain in me that I tumbled forward into his arms and began to sob rapidly into his shirt.

"I'm sorry because I'm going to die and I never got to tell you--" My voice broke off as I coughed into the tissue that had been clenched into my hand and after I threw it away and gained control of myself, Dean held onto my shoulders and pulled me back far enough so that we were inches apart but I knew that he wasn't going to kiss me.

"Tell me what?" His voice was only a whisper, and his hot breath had more tears squeezing out of my eyes because of the pain I had caused the both of us, pain that could have been so easily avoided if I had just accepted the fact that love wasn't just in fictional stories, that maybe it could be a real thing. In that moment, I decided that I was going to die anyway, I was as well go out believing in something that I never thought could be true.

"That when you left, I wanted to tell you to stay, so bad, because..." I took a deep breath, my voice shaking as Dean looked at me with wide eyes, "Because I think I'm in love with you, too, and I have no idea what I'm going to do about it".




Btw, the crimson plague is a made up thing, just in case you didn't know??? Okay, so who thinks Kale is going to die and who thinks they'll get her a way out of it and who thinks she'll come back as a ghost and possess someone or something??? Anyway, so DEAN IS BACK and I personally couldn't be happier. Is it weird that I ship Kale and Dean so hard and they're my characters??? And Kale is finally accepting that love exists and admitted some cute things to Dean! 
Comment some things you'd like to see happen, your theories, your feelings, what you think of this story and PLEASE DO NOT comment 'update' because I get all excited that I've got a comment and I look at it and BOOM, it just says update and I find it rude and please don't :(

Also, as an afterthought, just because I don't reply to your comment doesn't mean I don't see it because I read each and every single one and thank you so much for all your kind and inspiring words, you're the best readers ever! ... XO