State of Seduction. // Dean Winchester COMPLETE

24.

Something I had never been good at was being a normal person. All my life, Mason and I had to follow in our fathers footsteps and I remembered killing my first vampire at the age of eight, while all the other eight year old's were trying to make friends and blend into school. Blending was no easy task, and whenever Mason and I were forced to go to a real school for a month or two, I was never really sure what to do. I had been called a lot of things in my twenty four years; a freak, a whore, a disappointment, but one thing I had never been called was normal. I didn't know if it was because I was a weird kid who kept a hunting knife in my boot or because of my inability to get along with people who didn't know what went bump in the night, but something kept me from blending in.

Because of my inability to blend and be a normal person, it meant that finding a job was no easy task. Especially because my only prerequisites were killing demons and working as a prostitute in a brothel. I didn't have my high school certificate because I never completed it and I had never had a part time job at a milk bar or a supermarket like all the other teenagers. I never stayed in one place long enough to get a real job, not that I would have had the patience to scan peoples groceries and pretend to be happy when all I really wanted to do was slit everyone's throats that would have walked by me oblivious to everything that went on in the world.

Seeing as the money had stopped rolling in from The Pentagon because I was no longer working there, it meant that I had to find something to do to support myself and not live off the credit card scams that Mason, Trent and nearly every other hunter did because it was something I didn't agree with. I had been scanning newspapers for days and I had been on the internet looking for something that caught my eye but as soon as something did, I lost interest nearly immediately because I needed previous experience and obviously I had none. I had already thought about going back to work at The Pentagon, but I knew that I couldn't lie to Mason and Trent about that anymore and I didn't even know what was happening with the brothel after Dallas had been killed. For all I knew, it could have been shut down and to never be reopened, but I wasn't sure.

"Looking for a job?" I heard Trent muse and I turned around to see him leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight from the carton and giving me a smirk. His leg had healed a few days ago and he seemed to be back to the old Trent I knew and loved. Mason was supposed to be getting out of the hospital tomorrow and as happy as I was that he was finally well enough to get out of there, I was ignoring the whole situation. I wasn't sure if I was just nervous about him being well enough for he and Trent to talk to me about everything, or if I was just trying to forget about the fact that Dean would be leaving. I hadn't seen him in a week, and I didn't know if I ever would again.

"I'm looking," I replied, sighing as I pushed a hand through my hair and wished that I was just a normal person. I wish that I didn't know about any of the things I knew about, I wished that I could handle things better and so that maybe I could've been a hunter with Mason and Trent instead of an escort at a monster brothel. But I had never been able to handle the hunting side of things, even though I had done it to make my father happy, I had never liked it. Killing things wasn't in my DNA, just like being a normal person wasn't either, even though I tried so hard.

"I'm going down to the store, want anything?" Trent had put the carton of orange juice back that I would not drink out of again, just like I hardly drank any of the things Trent drank from the fridge because he didn't know what a glass was, and he had grabbed his wallet and was heading to the front door, already pulling it open to leave. He evidently didn't care if I wanted something or not, because he closed the door behind him before I had uttered a word.

"Normality," I muttered after the slam of the door had settled and the apartment was once again quiet. I turned to focus back on all the job articles in the newspapers and glanced over my laptop screen which was awake with a job advertisement for a clothing store but nothing was tickling my fancy and honestly, I didn't even want a job. What I was doing before, however testing and sometimes scary, I did enjoy it, no matter what I said. And it was easy, and my work hours were flexible and I only had to work four days a week unless I picked up an extra shift. Whatever I wanted to do now was going to be hard, for me at least, because I had no experience, no intelligence. Nothing. I had nothing to offer, to anybody. I heard the door open behind me and I turned, confused as to why Trent would be back so soon, "What did you forget?" I said, but the person at the door wasn't Trent. It was Dean.