Avenoir || BTS

18

And I've already decided to never come back.

"We could have just teleported," I tell Taehyung. 

He shrugs, large hands tightening on the steering wheel. 

"Wanted to go on a long drive." 

In the silence of the night, the car runs smoothly on the highway, cutting through the early hours of dawn. Taehyung glances at you in the passenger seat before shifting the gear. 

"It's all an act," he whispers. 

"What?" I ask. 

"An act. Us being rude and mean. We were nice before, I swear," he says, "I don't know whether you know about one of the seers before James. Her name was Ida. She fell in love with Namjoon. And it was a mess after that. She refused to find Helen, but that's not it."

I give him a curious glance, waiting for him to continue. 

"She wanted to be with him so bad, she made a deal with a witch. Now, witches may be better than water wraiths, but they're not exactly nice. The witch offered to help Ida, but in exchange for twenty years of her life. You know what Ida was thinking? She thought that if Namjoon fell for her, he'd turn her into a vampire, so thirty years of her life was no big deal. What do thirty years amount to compared to infinity?

"She gave Ida a potion to wear, kind of like perfume. Once Namjoon smells it, he will fall for her. Ida came over one day, and true to the witch's word, he fell in love. Well, not really. He was under the spell. But just a day later... she died," Taehyung pauses, his eyes glazing over, "Her destined life as a human was short, and when the witch took her thirty years, it was over."

I can't comprehend the complexity of the situation. A girl Namjoon loved for one day. The girl who gave up her life for one chance at being loved, but lost it anyway. 

"Oh, that's-" I wipe a stray tear, "Horrible."

I hadn't known I was crying. Why was I crying? Ida made a mistake. A grave mistake. And that impacted the others. Of course, they wouldn't want anyone getting close to them again. But that doesn't justify them blindly judging me and hurting me based on preconceived notions. 

"I can't speak for Yoongi and Jimin. I don't know what they were trying. I'm not asking you to understand, either. But the reason we're so cruel is to protect ourselves. We might have lost our humanity along the way. We just want to be nice, you know?"

"It's hard, isn't it?" I ask, "I want to be nice too. But sometimes I just can't."

The car comes to a stop in front of my apartment. 

"Have a good night, Y/N," Taehyung says. 

And for the first time, I see a smile on his face. It's not half-hearted or a smirk. It's a genuine smile that lights his features. 

"Good night, Taehyung."

And that is it. I get out of the car, breathing in the fresh night air that's cold enough to make me shiver. I take my bags out of the trunk and shut it, watching him drive away.

Sighing, I trudge to the elevator, waiting to get to my floor. In those brief moments, I remember the time I spent with Jimin and Yoongi, hating how happy I allowed myself to be with them.

Those moments were warm, those moments had been helping me get over what I lost. But now they ended up being a part of me I lost. Again. I'm startled as a warm body collides with mine, making me drop my bags.

I see luscious, thick locks and the scent of cinnamon hits me.

"Vera?" I ask, "Get off. I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

"Where were you?" she asks.

"Somewhere. It's none of your business," I snap, "Not anymore."

I gently push her away, picking up my bags and unlocking my front door. I close the door on her face which is starting to tear up. I don't care. Because that's how she leaves me each time we try to get back together.

Because she closes the door on my face as well, and yet welcomes me back in with open arms. I fall for it every time. But not this time. I break down in sobs again, wondering why nothing ever goes right in my life.

What did I do wrong?

With a frustrated yell, I kick the object closest to me. It turns out to be the umbrella stand, which tips over. I'm angrier than I've ever been, and it shows in the way I break glass and ceramic, in the way I shove paper and pens on the floor, and in the way I knock over oil pastels.

They spill on the white carpet, lightly staining it.

I freeze, eyes wide and barely breathing as I remember this scene. I've seen this before, in a vision. And I had wondered who hurt me that way. I wish I had known then. What's the point of my clairvoyance if it's not even going to save me? 

I can still see Yoongi's soft smile, and I can also see his cold, monotone face. 

"Why would you do this to me?"