Avenoir || BTS

30

Things would have been so, so easy if I had just fallen for him instead. But life never works the way you want it to.

My eyes widen as a vision attacks me out of nowhere. Good thing I remembered to wear my colored contacts this morning, so no one sees the way they turn grey. I sit in my chair, blankly staring at the notes as indistinguishable flickers of a possible future flash in my brain. 

Throwing up after I drank too much. Yelling at Eric. Holding his hand. Buying rings. Fussing over a wedding dress. A baby, with wide black eyes and a beautiful little smile. 

My baby. 

Our baby. Mine and Eric's. A son.

Staring at a photo of Jimin as a tear falls over it. 

Watching my son take his first step. Worried as he tumbles off the bicycle. Giving him advice before he goes on his first date. Getting him married. 

Old, withered hands tugging a dirty sweater from under a pile of clothes. It's Hoseok's. 

Eric dying. I cry. Taehyung appears at the graveyard, as youthful as I have always known him. And his lips fail to smile as he mouths the words I hear too late. 

I love you.

Sudden nausea washes over me, and I have to excuse myself. I run to the bathroom, splashing water over my face. 

No, that can't happen. No matter what happens, I should not marry Eric. It's a bittersweet relationship. Sweet for him, maybe, but even through the visions, it was bitter for me.

That is not the life I want. 

Practice helps successfully distract me, and by the time Seoyeon bounds to me after practice, the vision is mostly out of my mind. 

"Sleepover?" Soo asks with enough excitement for the two of us. 

"Sure, sure," I agree with a laugh.  

And that's how we found ourselves with sheet masks on our faces, giggling at old messages sent by Seoyeon's ex. 

"Damn, how did I date a pig like that?" she asks. 

"I wonder too," I snort. 

"Oh, a quiz!" 

She clicks on it and asks me to fill it out first. I read the title and roll my eyes.

"Who is secretly in love with you?" I read aloud, "Are you serious?"

"Come on, fill it! Imagine Eric's name just pops up."

I hadn't thought about that, at all. I was thinking of someone else, which causes a blush to bloom across my cheeks. Thank god we're wearing masks. I fill out the questions, some of which sound utterly irrelevant. 

"Let me read the result," Soo exclaims, grabbing her phone from me, "It seems like you have more than one admirer. It's complicated, but trust me, you'll love it. You're a loveable person, and hard to let go of. Want to know who loves you? They're closer than you think, and there's not just one. You're a temptress, I'll give you that. Just don't be a ruthless heartbreaker! Poor boys, they won't know what hit them."

Soo giggles as you groan and push her away. 

"Sounds like a badly written polyamory fanfic."

"Tell me about it," I say, "Why are they even assuming I only attract men?"

It's long past midnight when we start to fall asleep. When I wake up at ten in the morning, I pat the nightstand for my phone, covering my mouth as a yawn breaks free. 

5 messages

Taehyung: She's gone. 
5:10 a.m

Taehyung: I didn't mean for that message to sound sad. Damn. I'm not. I just want you back. You're probably sleeping now but come back as soon as you can. 
5:11 a.m

Taehyung: I miss you.
7:43 a.m

Jin: Helen left. Just thought I'd let you know. 
5:15 a.m

Jungkook: Mind getting me a new pair of earphones when you get back? Broke mine. 
9:00 a.m

I roll my eyes, replying to Jin and Jungkook. My fingers hesitate over the send button as I reread the message I'm about to send Taehyung. 

Me: I've just been gone for a night. 🙄 But, yeah. I miss you too. I'll see you soon. I'll be back by the afternoon.

My heart refuses to slow down as I get ready to leave. Seoyeon wakes up by then, almost bumping into a wall as she tries to enter the bathroom. I slip into Seoyeon's clothes which she lent me. They're a little tight, but not awkwardly so. I can still breathe, so it's okay. 

I make it to the penthouse, surprised as the scent of food overwhelms me. The dining table is laid out with piles of food. Yoongi and Jin finish the whole set-up with a plate of red velvet cake, and my eyes light up instantly. 

"Who's all this for?" I ask. 

I draw in a sharp breath when arms wrap around me from behind. 

"For you, of course. Don't mind Jin and Yoongi. They're just stress-cooking," Taehyung replies, pressing a soft kiss on your temple before letting go of me, "Go take a shower or something. You don't smell like you."

With wide eyes, I mechanically walk to my room and strip, relaxing as the view of the city fills my vision. I sink into the bath but don't take too long as I don't want the food to get cold. Dressed into a comfy pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, I leave the room and get settled at the dining table. 

"Don't you think you made too much?" I ask Jin, but he merely shrugs.

Yoongi flops into the dining chair beside me, resting his head on the table. Hesitantly, I pat his head. He grunts softly, leaning into the touch. Jin comes around, silently setting the table. I would have helped, but it looks like he needs this distraction.

"Hey," Yoongi mutters, startling me, "You ever look at someone and think it would have been easier to fall in love with them instead?"

It's like he read my mind. Wasn't I just thinking about this yesterday? He lifts his head, turning to face me with tired eyes. 

"Yeah," I reply honestly, "It's kinda creepy you're asking me this."

"Why?" he frowns. 

"'Cause I was just thinking about this yesterday, wondering how easy things would have been if I fell in love with Eric."

"Eric?" Jungkook pops his head in the dining room, "Who's Eric?"

"Yeah, who's Eric?" Taehyung comes up behind him, narrowing his eyes. 

"One of my friends. He has a crush on me or something," I wave it off. 

"That's not it," Yoongi clicks his tongue, "There's more to it."

"Tell me why you asked that question and I'll tell you what's on my mind."

"I was thinking that person would be you. Things would have been so much easier if I had just fallen in love with you."

Ouch. That kind of hurt. But that's unfair to Eric, as that's what I think of him. 

"I had a vision this morning," I start, and Taehyung and Jungkook filter into the dining room to take a seat, "I lived out an entire lifetime with Eric. Getting married, having a son, all that."

"Will that happen?" Jungkook asks, "Will you marry Eric?"

"I..." my eyes flicker to Taehyung's expressionless gaze, "I don't know."