Unfathomable Desire

Chapter 1

            I stared out of the window of the Hogwarts Express watching the greenery fly by in a blur. I had never ridden a train to school before, and this was quite exciting for me. I slouched in the corner of the train compartment, lost in thoughts about Hogwarts and my next year at a new school. My stomach hurt with nerves, I hated making new friends. I decided to come to London for my last year of schooling due to always wanting to live in England and my deep interest in potions-making. I've heard that the potions master at Hogwarts was truly gifted and I wanted to learn from the best if I expected to make a career in potions. Hence, I endured my first plane ride from Canada to London and embarked on doing my final year at Hogwarts, which would be my 8th year as in Canada, our schooling is 8 years instead of 7, thus I had turned 18 just before the school year began.

"Oi! Y/n!" Fred Weasley hit my leg from across the compartment. As a foreign exchange student, I would be spending anytime out of the school with the Weasley family. Having spent the last month with them, they have been nothing but kind to me and I even befriended the twins, Fred and George, who were only a year younger than me, in their 6th year at Hogwarts. "Do you want anything from the trolley?"

I looked towards the compartment door to see the trolley lady staring sweetly at me, waiting for an answer. "No thanks." I smiled at her. I was too nervous to eat anything.

The trolley lady left and Fred shut the compartment doors.

"Are you excited? We're almost there, I reckon." Fred asked me.

"I'm not sure how I feel." I answered honestly.

"We told you, there's nothing to worry about," George chimed in. "Something tries to off a few students every year, but the odds are it won't be you."

I knew he was joking but I heard the stories of the things that took place at Hogwarts. It seems something sinister happens every school year. I smiled weakly, clearly not hiding my nerves well.

"I'm joking. Nothing gets past Dumbledore, you're safe," George smiled back at me.

"Besides, now you have us by your side. We won't let anything too crazy get you." Fred winked at me.

"Gee thanks," I replied, trying to get my mind off of everything I had to be nervous about.

I looked back out the window and it appeared that the train was slowing down. The sun began to set outside and I could see my reflection in the glass. Long, dark brown hair and big worried brown eyes. I could see the fear in my face and made a mental note to try to hide it once I got to the school. I looked down to my hands resting on my lap. I was already in school uniform, a short skirt that I rolled at the top to make shorter, black tights, a buttoned-down shirt, cloak and a red and gold tie. The sorting ceremony to place me in a house took place in privacy with the headmaster and Professor McGonagall present to save me from doing it with a bunch of first years. I really appreciated that. It was hard enough starting at a new school in my final year. I had to keep telling myself that I'm doing this for my future and that is what's most important.

The train came to a halt and students began shuffling in the train corridor toward the exit. We got up together and George put an arm over my shoulders and gave me a reassuring smile. I usually was not a nervous person, but this was outside of my comfort zone. Not only was I a new student, but I came from a different country, with a different accent, and I'm starting at a school that, according to Fred and George, doesn't have many exchange students. I felt like an outsider and I know how quick gossip spread. I just had to keep my head up high and stay out of trouble. Easy enough.

We made it outside and boarded a carriage that appeared to be driven by invisible horses. I saw reigns but they weren't attached to anything.

"What's pulling the carriage?" I asked nobody in particular.

"Not a clue," Fred answered.

Four other students boarded the carriage with us. I recognized Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, and Harry Potter instantly from living with the Weasleys. The fourth person was a girl with bushy brown hair. She looked at me and put her hand out to shake mine. I grabbed her hand and smiled.

"Hermione Granger," she introduced herself. "And you're y/n, I've heard loads about you."

I blushed as she let go of my hand. Everyone began talking as the carriage made its way up towards the magnificent castle. I've seen Hogwarts and even got a brief tour of the school and my common room when I first arrived in London a month ago. However, the sight of the school still took my breath away. It was absolutely beautiful and I felt a rush of gratitude for being permitted to study here.

I was only permitted on account of my good grades and my deep interest in potions. My thesis about the legality of Polyjuice potion in Canada and my essay stating my reasons for wanting to study at Hogwarts also helped. To my disappointment, I was not able to meet the potions master before school started. I also did not tell Fred and George about my interest in potions making, as I wanted them to form their own opinion of me regardless of my grades.

When we made it to the school, we hopped out of the carriage and made our way to the Great Hall. Students were sitting down at their designated tables and I followed Fred and George's lead as to where to sit. Hundreds of candles floated above the tables, and the ceiling was charmed to look like the night sky, which was full of stars. The tables were lined up vertically, and at the far end was a long table set up horizontally with a podium in front. I assumed this is where the teachers sat, as there were already a few teachers seated here, including Dumbledore.

As all the students got settled, Dumbledore rose with his hands spread wide and shouted: "Let's eat!"

As he said this, food appeared on all the tables. Students began filling their plates. I stared at the food in front of me, unsure whether my nerves would let me eat.

"You gotta eat something," George said. "I don't think I saw you eat since yesterday." He began filling my plate with food.

George was sitting on my right and Fred was across from me. I sat with my back to the other houses, which helped me avoid the fear of facing the other students. I picked at my plate slowly. After everyone appeared full and satisfied, Dumbledore got up to the podium and began making a speech. As he did so, a man, presumably a teacher, came through the side door near the teacher's table. He came in quietly, clearly late. He was dressed in all black, his cloak flying behind him as he walked to his seat. He sat down and I got a better look at him. He appeared to be in his mid-thirties, black hair that hung in curtains around his face, a hooked nose and dark eyes. He stared at the back of Dumbledore, appearing to be deep in thought. I'm not sure what it was about him, but there was something interesting about him. I struggled to not look at him, he was mysterious looking and dark, he appeared to be holding in his own secrets and that only intrigued me more.

I leaned towards George and whispered "Who's that?" I nudged my head towards the mysterious man.

"Potions professor." George told me. "His name is Severus Snape. Real git he is. Complete ass. I recommend staying away if you can help it."

Little did George know that I would be taking double potions this year. I knew many people dropped, or did not get accepted into, potions in their final year but that hadn't been a problem for me.

Professor Snape's eyes began scanning the rows of students, never landing on anyone in particular. He looked bored with the feast and the speech. Then his eyes found mine and my heart started beating quickly. He held my gaze for what felt like minutes. His brows arched and he looked at me with confusion, yet intrigue. I wondered if he knew I was an exchange student. He held my stare and it was difficult to look away. His eyes appeared to be dark abysses, never ending. Eventually, I pried my eyes away and watched Dumbledore, unable to calm my racing pulse.