Unfathomable Desire

Chapter 33

I ran all the way to Diagon Alley, where an arm reached out from the passageway and pulled me in. I looked up, breathless.

"Remus!" I exclaimed, relief flooding my body. 

Remus's concerned face looked down at me and I allowed myself to collapse against him, my legs aching from running and the panic. Remus held me up while I caught my breath.

"Y/n, what happened?" 

"Lucius.." I tried to talk while panting, but it wasn't working. A bubble had formed in my throat, panic settling deep in my stomach and I tried to remind myself that I was safe now. 

Remus held me at arm's length, continuing to hold my weight. "Y/n, breath. You're OK now." 

I did as he told me, taking some deep breaths. I closed my eyes for a moment and relaxed. Once I was stable, Remus gently let go of me. 

"Lucius knew I was following him," I said quickly. 

"Yes, I'm aware of that," Remus said, grabbing my arm and dragging me further down the passageway, away from people. He glanced behind him before speaking again. "I recognized Dolohov blocking that alleyway and figured you were in there with Lucius."

"Dolohov?" 

"The one with the beard. He's a Death Eater," Remus explained. "I knew I had to get you out of there without blowing your cover."

"Wait," I said. "So you sent the message that Lucius was needed elsewhere? How?"

"I have my connections," Remus said. "What did he do to you?" 

"Nothing I couldn't handle," I tried sounding brave. Remus looked at my skeptically. "He just threatened me a bit." 

"Tell me what happened," Remus said sternly. 

I told Remus almost everything that happened, avoiding the flirtatious bits. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and didn't think they were important. 

"It was all for nothing," I concluded. "We didn't learn anything." 

"How did he know you were following him?" Remus pondered.

I leaned against the wall, arms crossed, my gaze on the ground. I felt quite shaken up from the whole experience and my energy was depleting quickly. 

"Let's get you home," Remus said. I looked up to see him examining me, looking concerned. "You need some rest." 

"I'm fine," I protested. 

"I'm sure you are," Remus said. "But we should go back regardless." 

Remus extended his hand and I took it, silently pleased to be going back. 

I was reaching from the handle of Number 12 Grimmauld Place when Remus grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows. 

"I don't think you're telling me everything," Remus said. "And that's fine. But you can talk to me if you need to. I would never judge you." 

Before I could even answer, he opened the door and his hand gently pushed my back, ushering me inside. 

"Go upstairs to your bedroom," Remus said quietly. "I'll take care of everything else." 

I had never felt so grateful for another person before. 

Monday morning, I was walking to Transfiguration with Mack when I excused myself to go to the washroom. After I had left the washroom, on my way to class, Severus side-stepped in front of me, as if appearing from thin air.

"Jesus Christ," I said. "You nearly gave me a heart attack." 

"We need to talk," he said in a flat tone. 

"I need to go to class." I tried stepping around him but he blocked my path. I sighed. "What is it?" 

Without saying a word, he placed a hand on the small of my back and led me into an empty room. 

I placed my heavy bag on the ground and crossed my arms, waiting. 

"Where were you this weekend?" he asked.

"I was busy," I replied.

"Obviously," Severus said, annunciating every syllable. "You were doing something for the Order."

"No, I wasn't."

"That's strange," Severus said, taking a step towards me. I was pinned between his body and the door. 

"Is it?" I asked, uncrossing my arms, breathing him in. "Why's that?"

"I received a call from an old friend of mine." 

"That's nice," I smiled. 

"Quite," Severus agreed. "However, he was extremely angry and hostile towards me."

"Maybe you were being a bad friend," I offered.

"He seems to think so. Something about having him followed." 

"Well, that's really interesting." 

Severus looked at me, taking me in. "Why were you with Lucius?"

"That's none of your concern," I answered defiantly. 

"What is Dumbledore asking from you?" 

"Why don't you ask Dumbledore?" 

"I have," Severus said through gritted teeth.

"And how did that work out for you?" I asked.

Severus gripped a chunk of my hair, pulling my head back slightly. "Answer me." 

"You of all people know why I can't answer you, Severus," I said.

"I don't want you near Lucius," Severus shot back.

"I'm aware. Frankly, I don't want to be near him either." 

Severus let go of my hair and took a step back. His gaze wandered over my entire body. "What did he do to you?" A hint of concern could be heard in his voice.

"What? Nothing," I quickly lied.

"Don't. Lie." Severus looked angry. "Tell me what he did to you or I will assume the worse." 

"It's fine Severus, calm down." 

"Did he hurt you?" 

"No, he didn't. Please keep your voice down." 

Severus took my face in his hand, turning my face from side to side. "Show me what he did." 

"I'm fine, seriously," I said, shoving his hand away. 

Severus stood back, looking furious. He reached for the doorknob and I hopped away. He bolted down the corridor, walking quickly. I chased after him.

"What are you going to do?" I asked, walking at his heel. 

"I am going to make sure Lucius stays very far away from you," Severus said without looking at me. 

"Can you stop for one second?" I was getting breathless, my legs still sore from Saturday. "He didn't hurt me, I am capable of handling him. 

"I am tired of telling you how dangerous he is. If you won't stay away, then he will." 

"I sought him, not the other way around!" I argued. "You can threaten him all you want, but I'm going to do what's needed of me for the Order." 

Severus spun around, his face inches from my own. "You will stay away from him, do you understand?" 

"You are not the boss of me." 

"If you do not listen to me, this could end in your death." 

"I'm prepared to die for the greater good," I shot back. "Unlike some people." 

Severus looked furious at this. "Do not pretend to understand me. You know nothing!" 

Severus spun back around and walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the corridor.