Unfathomable Desire

Chapter 16

Instead of heading to dinner, I followed Snape into the dungeon corridors. When it appeared that we were secluded, Snape rounded on me, looking angry.

"Not tonight," he told me, implying sex.

"That's not why I'm here," I told him. "First of all, a warning would have been nice. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you in Dumbledore's office. Second of all, why the hell don't you want me to join the Order?"

"Keep your voice down," Snape whispered, pulling me by the arm to a more isolated, darkened spot in the corridor. "You're too young and naïve to understand what you agreed too."

"Stop saying that," I replied. "I know what I'm doing, I'm not a dumb kid."

"That's hard to believe sometimes."

"What the fuck is your problem?" I was getting angry and felt slightly hurt as his lack of confidence in me. "I can do this. Dumbledore believes in me, why can't you?"

"Do you understand the risk? How likely it is that you will get hurt?"

"It's called having courage, Severus," I said. "You should try it sometime."

"There's a difference between courage and stupidity," he shot back. "I will not support you joining."

"I don't need your permission," I said through gritted teeth. I pulled my arm out of his grip and walked away.

A week later, I sat outside by the lake, waiting to be escorted to my first Order meeting. It was Friday night and I would be staying the weekend at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. I hadn't spoken much to Snape since our argument, only speaking to each other when necessary. He made slight advances to me, wanting me to stay after class or meet him in his office, but I ignored him. I didn't want to forgive someone so easily who didn't believe in me. I missed his presence and craved his touch, but I wouldn't let him walk all over me, I had too much self-respect for that.

"Ready?" I turned to see Snape standing behind me.

"Seriously?" I asked. "You're my escort?"

"Let's go," Snape said as he started walking away from me. I got up and jogged to catch up to him.

We were walking away from Hogwarts, heading towards Hogsmeade.

"Where are we going?" I asked, my curiosity overcoming my anger.

"We cannot apparate on school grounds," Snape explained.

I rolled my eyes at the fact that he didn't answer my question, but remained quiet. After walking for a while in silence, we finally arrived in the small village of Hogsmeade.

"Take my arm," Snape said as he stuck out his arm for me to take.

The moment my fingers clamped down on his bicep, the world around us spun. I grew dizzy and tried closing my eyes. I hated apparating.

We landed in a park for children, but it was empty as it was late at night. I landed on my ass, and Snape reached out a hand and helped me up.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

There were houses that all looked identical around us. Families could be seen inside the windows, watching television or talking with each other. It made me long for my family back in Canada.