Unfathomable Desire

Chapter 25

I entered the house, and could hear talking coming from the dining room. I quietly made my way upstairs to my bedroom. My stomach grumbled slightly from hunger, but I still didn't feel ready to face anyone. After about an hour, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said loud enough for them to hear.

Fred waltz into my bedroom, followed by George. George shut the door behind him and sat in one of my chairs and Fred made himself comfortable at the foot of my bed. I leaned against my propped up pillow at the other end of my bed.

"Can I help you?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"Just wanted to check on you," Fred said.

There was a moment of quiet, an awkward tension settling in the space between the twins and me. I could feel their questions lingering and I just hoped they wouldn't ask them.

"Are you all right?" George asked.

"Of course," I told him, sounding confident.

"Your arm, y/n." George was looking at my bruise.

"That's nothing," I said, covering it up with my other hand.

"Was it Snape?" George inquired.

"Don't be thick," Fred answered for me. "Do you really think Dumbledore would let Snape walk freely if he did that?"

I looked away, not wanting to continue this conversation.

"What happened last night?" Fred asked after a brief pause.

"You heard." It wasn't a question.

"Sort of woke up the whole house," George said, smiling playfully.

"Sorry about that," I said, not meeting either of their eyes. "We just got into an argument."

"Quite the screaming match," Fred said.

"Snape is such a git," George added.

"You don't even know what we argued about," I laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you were right," George said.

"I was," I grinned.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Fred asked, leaning slightly forward as if we were sharing secrets.

"Did your mom send you up here?" I asked.

"That's irrelevant," Fred said.

I laughed, enjoying how easy it was to talk to them. "I don't want to talk about it, but thank you. I'm also being honest when I say I'm fine now."

"You don't want to talk about it," George was saying. "Or you can't?"

"Bit of both, I reckon," Fred answered for me.

I nodded slowly in agreement.

"Alright, then," George said, bouncing up. "Mum wants you to eat. So c'mon."

I followed the twins downstairs and ate some food. The place was empty except for the twins and Mrs. Weasley and I appreciated this. No one pushed me for questions or acted weird. The twins joked around, while Mrs. Weasley busied herself in the kitchen. Things felt relatively normal.

After I was done eating, I had refused a game of Quidditch, exhausted from last night. The twins went out with Harry and Ron to play, and I sat alone at the dining room table, reading a book for school. The door swung open and Sirius came in.

He eyed me for a moment, before disappearing into the kitchen. He came back moments later with a mug of coffee in his hand. I kept looking at my book, aware of his movements in my peripheral. He sat down across from me and I finally looked up, acknowledging him.

"Please don't," I said.

"I didn't say anything," Sirius said, putting his hands up in defence.

"It's the way you're looking at me," I shot back.

"And how am I supposedly looking at you?"

"With pity and curiosity," I answered.

"That's very observant of you," he said and I smiled proudly. "But wrong." My smile faded. "I wasn't going to say anything about last night."

"The fact that you're even referencing it, is saying something."

"Severus-"

"Don't."

Sirius bit his lip and appeared to be deep in thought. I went back to my book, but was not really reading it.

"Y/n," Sirius chimed in.

"Sirius, please," I begged.

"Can I just say one thing?"

"No," I said defiantly.

"Severus has no right," Sirius went on, ignoring me.

"I said no."

"Honestly, he should be fired in my opinion," Sirius continued.

"You don't get to have an opinion about this."

"He shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that."

"You don't know the full story," I argued.

"Yelling at a student like that," Sirius said, more to himself than me. "That's completely inappropriate."

"I wasn't his student last night," I said.

"What?"

"We were doing a task for the Order," I explained. "I wasn't his student. I fucked up and he got pissed."

"I don't care what his reasons are," Sirius said, talking slightly louder now. "He has zero regard for others, it's maddening."

"Sirius, please stop," I said.

"I'll never understand why Dumbledore allows him to do that," Sirius said. "He made you cry."

"I cried because I was angry," I told him. "He was also angry, and he had a right to be."

"Why are you defending him?"

"I... don't know why, you just have it wrong," I tried explaining.

"You care about him." It was a statement.

"I care about a lot of people," I looked down at my book, not really seeing my book.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Just let it go, OK?"

"Someone needs to defend you since you're too blinded to do it yourself," Sirius commented.

"I am perfectly capable of defending myself," I shot back.

"Severus has one thing right," Sirius said as he got up from his chair, the legs scrapping the floor. He grabbed his mug as he made to leave. "You have no regard for your own safety."

He left before I could reply. Part of me wanted to chase after him, but I didn't. I should have felt angry at him but I didn't. Instead, I worried that he may be right.