the summer you noticed me ↠ conrad fisher {1}

f o u r t e e n

     It's been three days since Conrad spent the night. I woke up to him cooking breakfast in my kitchen, with coffee from Starbucks already picked up.

     I was stunned to the couch. I genuinely had no clue as to what was happening, or if it was even real. I was almost sure I had woken up in a dream, and I would happily  chose sleep forever. When I finally had processed this was truly happening, and in fact not a dream, I cried.

     Not in front of him of course, but I excused myself to go to the bathroom and cried. It was happy, relief, and a little bit of shock tears. I really just felt so much joy I didn't know how to process it like a normal human.

     Since then, we have been texting nonstop, if we aren't already together. It's becoming easier and easier to be around each other. The subtle shifts of our bodies just so we can be touching doesn't come as a shock to me anymore. I used to get nervous and be hyper aware that he was touching me, but now it feels weird when he's around me and not near me.

     Regardless this outcome of how I imaged this summer to be going is so off. I never could of pictured Conrad genuinely wanting to be around me, alone, without the others but here we are.

     I haven't seen Belly much, but not because I'm busy with Conrad. She has Debutant training, which has taken up most of her time.

     Although, I am currently with Belly. I stifle a laugh watching her dig through her drawers. She told me her and Cam Cameron are planning to go on a date. This is Belly's first date, at least that I'm aware of so it's a big deal.

     "Hey," Belly says holding up a sunflower knitted looking crop top. "Huh?" She asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

     I smile and nod because frankly anything would look good on her. "What time are you leaving?" I ask.

     "Soon, in about an hour. Are you going to my moms book signing party? I feel really bad I can't be there, so maybe if you go it'll be like a substitute daughter," she laughs.

     I know she's joking but it makes my happy. We've felt so distant this summer, and I miss her. I miss Laurel. I'd talk to them basically everyday back home, now we're 20 feet away from each other and never see one another.

     "Yeah, Conrad asked if I could go with them," I grin. Belly's smile grows so wide I'm not even sure how it doesn't hurt instantly. "He said it would be, and I quote, boring without you."

     Belly squeals, jumping on the bed beside me. "No way! No way! No way!" She mumbles. "What the hell have I missed?" She asks. "Why would he say that? Are you two—" her eyes widen when I don't confirm or deny that we're anything. The reason for that being I don't know what we are, I just know we are.

      "We are something?" I say quietly. "Nothing official, but it's been a lot of texting and hanging out."

     "When? What!" She gasps. She rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling. "This debutant thing is taking up more time them I thought it was going too. I feel like I'm missing so much," she whispers.

     "It's only been like five days!"

     "We've been here for five days. Claire. In five days you and Conrad have canoodled and I'm just finding out about it now!" She whines.

     "Canoodled?" I giggle. "We haven't canoodled, we just talk. Well, I mean," I pause, not sure if I should tell her.

     "Well, I mean," she mimics. "what!" She shouts jumping up. "Tell me the details girl, tell me!"

     "There are no details, he just came over the other day. We unpacked all my stuff in my house bc I hadn't gotten to it yet and then he slept over and by slept over I meant we literally slept on the couch and cuddled all night. When I woke up in the morning he had gotten me Starbucks coffee and was making breakfast for me."

     "Shut up," she gasps. "Shut up." I don't know what to say so I shrug. It is a big deal but I guess I've had more time to process it then Belly. "He's such a simp! He loves you! Oh my god!"

     "Woah there. Slow your roll," I chuckle. "Not even close to that yet. It's just," I pause, because I'm not sure how to explain it. "It's surreal. I've had a crush on him for so long that I'm afraid that it won't be what I had been imagining, and of course that's stupid—"

"I get what you mean," Belly says cutting me off. Good, because I was about to blabber. "You're afraid it won't live up to your expectations of the Conrad in your head," she confirms.

"Yes," I groan. I fall back onto her bed and let out a small huff. "This is just too good to be true, why now?"

"Why now what?" She asks.

"Why does he notice me now? Why didn't he notice me when I noticed him?"

Belly sighs, and lays down next to me. "Boys are stupid," she says seriously. I look over at her, and bite back a laugh. "What?" Belly asks. "I'm serious that's the only logical answer, he's stupid. We know he's stupid, but he finally came to his senses and realized what a badass you are!"

I feel like crying again. "I really want this to work, I'm so scared that it's just going to be some summer fling to him and then just leave me at the end of summer. I know think I can handle that happening," I said. I sit back up, because I'm getting worked up.

"Claire, honey. If he does that, he isn't worth it. I've known Conrad just as long as you, I don't think he'd do that to anyone — especially you. You know he's always had a soft spot for you, I think he's just now getting up the courage to act on how he's always felt."

"You're right, I know. Jeez, I'm sorry. Today is supposed to be big for you and I'm ruining it by talking about Conrad, like always."

"Oh shut up, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you told me. I love you," she grins, going in for a hug.

"I love you too."

Belly had a point. Looking back, I do feel like I started to notice little things Conrad did when he was around me; making sure he always sat next to me when we had dinners at their house, noticing little things like my coffee order, and helping me unpack my groceries, all of those things he's done to take notice to me. I think I need to get out of my head and just let what happens — happen. I'm tired of overthinking something good that's finally happening to me.