the summer you noticed me ↠ conrad fisher {1}

s e v e n t e e n

     My head is resting in Conrad's lap again. He's sitting up watching my favorite movie, Tangled but I can't seem to focus on it right now. I'm staring up at him. I can't stop staring at him. I love him, I am almost positive of that in this moment. I have never actually felt this much for him, and it's overwhelming. Everything I have ever felt for him was all build up on imagination, but this is real.

He took such good care of me earlier, and is still taking care of me. He understood when I said I didn't have a reason for my panic attack, not prying like other people usually do to find the "hidden reasoning". Sometimes there isn't a reason and I was glad he wasn't forcing me to relive my thoughts in that moment since a lot of them revolves around him and how I wanted him with me. Also, he knows about my family and how I feel regarding that and I know he'd never expect me to reexplain those feelings.

We sat outside for awhile, sitting in a comfortable silence watching the sun go down until it got too chilly for us to stay outside anymore. Now, his fingers are lazily running through my hair and down my face at random points and each touch to my skin send goosebumps down my arm.

     "I can feel you staring at me, can you please watch the movie you begged me to put on for ten minutes straight," he mumbles eyes never leaving the screen.

     I smile, but don't stop staring. I'm not ashamed of checking him out anymore. "Sorry, you're just too pretty to not stare at."

     This is when he looks at me. His eyes slide down to my face and he holds my gaze for a moment before a flush breaks out on his cheeks. I resist the urge to poke them.

     He lets out a small sigh, before resting his head back on the couch. I take advantage of the fact that I'm feeling brave and I turn and scoot up a bit so I'm practically sitting in his lap now. I bury my head into his chest, wrapping my arms around his body. My ear is pressed to his chest and I can hear how fast his heart is beating. He wraps his arms around me, and it makes me grin harder.

     I love having him here. My house feels full when he's here. I lift my head and see him already staring down at me. "Can I say something dumb?" He says.

     I let out a small laugh, and nod. "Sure?"

     "I left Laurels book signing thing earlier because I saw you with Jeremiah and got mad—" I go to cut him off. To tell him I have never seen Jeremiah in that way, that I was unfair of him to assume but he keeps talking. "I don't know why I let the anger get to me. I know you don't like Jeremiah like that, but the way you were resting your head on his shoulder I just got really—" he lets his sentence hang there. He didn't finish what he was going to say and I smile so big my cheeks are already cramping up.

     I press a finger into his chest, hard. "You we're jealous," his face turns pink again and my head begins to flutter. I sit up moving myself away from him. The realization of what he just admit dawns on me. "You we're jealous," I repeat. Why was he jealous? What does this mean.

     He runs a hand through his hair, as if admitting this is hard for him but before I go to say it again he nods. "Yes," he replies quietly. "I was very jealous."

     I don't know what to do with this information. I stare at him, heart pounding in my ears. I want to kiss him. I want to snuggle him. I want him. All of him.

     As if he could read my thoughts, he scoots closer to me. My breathe hitches in my throat. His hand slowly travels up my arm and stops on my shoulder. He's drawing small circles there, and I can't focus on anything but his skin on mine.

     I look at his face, and see his eyes already watching me closely as if gauging a reaction. "Conrad," I whisper.

     "Claire," he whispers back. His hand slides up to my face and stops when he reaches my chin. This is it. This is the moment I've been dreaming of for as long as I've known him.

    He's finally going to kiss me.

     When he starts to lean in, I have to stop myself from jumping him. I let it happen his way, slow, too slow. By the time his lips brush mine, I'm a puddle at his feet. I could die in this moment and think this life was as perfect as can be.

     He leaves a light kiss on my lips and I want to let out a whimper when he starts backing away already as if that was acceptable. I want more.

"What was that!" I scream.

Conrad does the last thing I expect him too. He laughs. He literally is full on hysterically laughing in my face. "A kiss?" He breathes out, but it comes out as a question.

I am embarrassed by my reaction of wanting more, so I scoot back to the corner of the couch and cross my arms. A small pout is on my lips and I'm afraid that it's going to be permanently on my lips until he kisses me again.

"Obviously," I scoff. "What is so funny!?" I whine.

He scoots closer to me until his knee brushes mine. He places his hand on my thigh, stifling his laughter down with one deep breathe.

"I'm going to kiss you again, but please don't scream at me again before I'm done," I go to protest that he was the one who inched away, but before I can get a chance his mouth is on mine again.

His one hand cups my cheek while the other finds their ways into my hair as he presses himself harder onto my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and sink into him. This is better then I could of ever possibly imagined. I want to kiss him all day, everyday for the rest of my life.

     This is the moment I've been waiting for my entire life and how that it's mine to hold I never want to let it go. I want to be closer to him, it's a need that's overpowering and I find us getting on our knees so that we can be pressed together. 

     A loud screech causes me to pull away from Conrad abruptly. My eyes fly around the room, and finally find the spot my open back door with Belly covering her eyes.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She screams. Her hands don't move from her eyes. "I just wanted to tell you about my date, but I can't wait till tomorrow, crap I'm sorry!" She screams again.

I hold a hand to my lips grinning. She says she's sorry but she doesn't move away from the door. Hands still on her eyes. I give Conrad a sympathetic look, "why do you not lock your doors?" He whispers.

"Sorry I was only having a panic attack," I mumble. "I'll be back, and then I promise you get me for the rest of the night!"

"I like the sound of that," he murmurs then presses a kiss on my neck right below my ear. I shiver and he grins, but then his eyes flick towards Belly.

"Coming Belly! Don't move I don't want you walking into anything!" I laugh.