the summer you noticed me ↠ conrad fisher {1}

f o r t y - f o u r

Sometimes I feel like I'm not living, but only in a simulation. My life looks more like a movie, cutting in and out from; dissociation episodes, panic attacks, parents cheating on one another, lots of arguing, but somehow in the mist of that all I got blessed with Conrad Fisher.

I stop running when I notice Conrad walking by, heading straight towards the outdoor shower. He's covered in calms and it doesn't shock me if him and Jeremiah got into it while they were down there. I stop, eyes watching his every move as he slips away from my view.

I stop walking, stop breathing for a second as I try hard to convince myself that model that just walked by is in fact, my boyfriend. I got the sudden urge to squeal, and cheer but stop myself noticing Shayla, Gigi, and Nicole all hurriedly walked by seeming as if they're leaving — not that I'd blame Shayla, Belly did just tell her the guy she's been seeing all summer has been kissing someone else.

I turn and excuse myself seeing Belly's drunk self slurring asking them why they were leaving.

You got this one Cam Cameron. She can't do anymore harm then she already has.

I head in the direction of the shower. "Babe, it's me."

"Gasp, Nicole? Don't let Claire see you!" Conrad teases.

I stop in front of the shower, crossing my arms. My mouth is pressed into a firm straight line, "two things," I say holding up my hand. "One," I say popping up my pointer finger. "Did you just say gasp aloud?" I ask, a smile breaks across his face once he realizes I'm not angry by what he said. "Two, if you ever compare me to her again. Even as a joke, you won't hear from me for a week."

"Ugh, gives me a perfect amount of time to visit her! Thanks baby!" He teases again.

"Gasp," I mock, mouth falling open. I frown, and let out a dramatic sigh. "Guess I'll be seeing you next week, I love you." I wave and get one step away before Conrad throws his arms around my waist pulling me into his wet chest. "Connie!" I scream in what I was trying to make sound angry but it came out in a fit of giggles.

      He smells like fish, but frankly I couldn't care less as he drags me backwards into the shower with him.

      He presses wet kisses onto my shoulder, cheek, back, forehead, until I am completely drenched and hysterically laughing.

* * *

I'm watching the stars. I don't know why everything quiets down when I do this but in comparison to how far away the stars are everything in my life seems to small and insignificant.

     I try to appreciate the feeling, remind myself that this is just a bad day — scratch that, bad year, but it won't matter from years to come. In ten years time I'll be a college graduate, living with my soon to be husband, Conrad Fisher. Let a girl dream. My parents will either be divorced or still faking a happy marriage in fear of the social status lowering but I won't be around to deal with it.

      As much as I love my parents, it's going to take a lot of graveling for me to forgive them for everything they've done. The embarrassment, the tension, the panic attacks, all of it. They don't only owe themselves respect, but me. I've listened to every single argument, I've listened to my dad cry because of my Mom's unfaithfulness. It isn't fair to him. It isn't fair to me. I could care less about what is fair to my Mom.

I take a hit of my pen and process everything that happened today. Apparently Cam Cameron didn't have Belly because Belly drunkly fell into Susannah knocking her down and breaking one of Susannah's cake holders that was her mothers.

     My parents left in a fight close to four hours ago, only an hour into the party. I don't know where Conrad ran off too but I know it's probably him being the saint he is and caring for his mother.

Someone sits in the sand next to me, and takes my pen from my hand. "Why hello?" I chuckle.

"Hey," he replies, taking a long drag. He starts coughing and I grin as I hand him my water. "Thanks."

"No problem, you okay? How's your Mom?" I ask.

      I know Jeremiah doesn't know about his Mom's cancer coming back so him not being with her makes sense. If he knew I'm sure he'd be there caring for her just as Conrad is right now. But, it is the way Susannah wants it to be, him being a normal teenager. Although, she has no idea Conrad knows, but I doubt she is questioning his concern, she is still his mother.

      "She's okay, she's asleep. She's got a few cuts on her elbows but nothing too bad, have you talked to Belly?" He asks.

      I shake my head no, "I'm sure Laurel is going to have her on lockdown for a bit. Did you ever get a chance to talk to her today?" I ask.

      He frowns, reaching for my pen again. "Nope, I felt bad. Cam Cameron is a good guy, I don't want to go behind his back like that. I'll wait and see what happens with them," he says quietly. "Oh and also," he pauses and grins at me. Any trace of sadness washed away from his face, the pen is kicking in. "Claire! What are you doing outside by yourself this late at night and smoking pot of all things! I thought I raised you better then this."

     I laugh loudly, and give him a hug. "I needed that, my parents being around and actually having them talk to me like that isn't as funny as when you do it."

"I miss you," Jere says quietly. "I'm happy you and Conrad finally admit you've loved each other for forever but when you guys did that I kinda lost you a bit." He sighs. "I just, I miss having one on one time, I don't have to try with you. I can feel what I feel and it takes you all of three minutes before you make me laugh over something stupid."

     My mouth falls open slightly, "Jere, I'm sorry. I had no idea! Are you okay? Are you alright now?" He laughs, shaking his head no. "What's wr—"

      "I'm okay, I'm really okay. I'm just happy to have you worrying about me. Thought you forgot I existed."

      I scoff and roll my eyes, giving him a shove. "Oh shut up." And with that he snatches my pen, takes a hit and breaks out in a silent laughter.

authors note;

I decided to change the plot because I didn't like how unrealistic my other one was coming. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)