the summer you noticed me ↠ conrad fisher {1}

s i x t y - f i v e

      My heart drops to my toes as Conrad closes my trunk for me. I can't stop myself from rushing over to him. I bury my head in his chest, appreciating being able to hug him like this anytime I want for a few moments longer.

"I'm scared to be apart from you," I admit. "I'm scared that when you go to college you'll realize I'm not good enough," I say voicing the demons in my head.

"What?" He gasps. Pulling me back to look me in the eye. "Don't say that."

"I'm just scared," I say letting out a shaky breath. "What about Jeremiah? I've never been able to keep in touch with him for a whole year. He always ghost me after awhile, he became my bestfriend this summer. Second to you, I can't handle being alone anymore. I can't lose you guys."

"I can't speak for Jere, and you can talk to him about this before you leave because if you don't it's going to eat you alive. But I can speak for myself, and baby," he grins pulling me to him. "Are stuck with me. You aren't getting rid of me."

      "Promise?" I hate the way I sound, but I need to know he isn't going to give up on us when things get hard. Long distance isn't easy, especially it being his first year of college, I don't want to lose him.

      He cups my face in his hands, "I promise." And then he kisses me. It's just a peck but it gives me butterflies. I grin up at him. "Go say bye to everyone, I'll be here waiting."

      I hug him again, "five more minutes?" I ask.

      He laughs, giving me a tight squeeze as he rocks us back and forth.

*   *   *

     I just said my goodbyes to Laurel and Susannah. I promised both of them I'd visit sometime this year because I can finally drive. Susannah already made me promise to visit around Halloween because she knows it's my favorite holiday and wants to watch horror movies with her. I promised I would. I'd take any time with her that I could get, and selfishly I could see Jeremiah when I visit too.

      Speaking of Jeremiah, he's the next person I'm saying goodbye too. This one is going to be the hardest. He's become my rock this summer. He's kept me grounded, and smiling. Always trying to make sure I felt loved and included. I am so grateful for him, and I'm so sad to say goodbye.

     I don't say anything as I just fall into his chest. He lets me, holding me like that for a minute. "I was wondering when it was my turn." He says quietly.

      "I only said bye to your Mom and Laurel." I chuckle.

     "Couldn't even save me for last, what I'm not as special as Conrad?" He teases. I shove him back, but he doesn't let me get far, "I'm kidding. I just want more time with you."

      "I think this summer is the closest we've ever been, huh?" I ask, grinning. "Dare I say it but you're probably my best friend now."

     "Yeah," he agrees. "I definitely consider you my bestfriend."

      "I'm gunna visit," I say. Hoping he'll understand this isn't a joke to me. I truly mean that he's my bestfriend.

       "I know you will," he smiles. "I love you Clairebear, maybe one more scolding for the road?" He asks. 

      "Hmm, it's been awhile. Sure go for it, im ready." I say stepping back.