the summer you noticed me ↠ conrad fisher {1}

f i f t y - n i n e

"Baby," Conrad sighs when he sees me. The pained look across his face when he realizes I didn't run up to him like I normally do causes my heart to ache. "Please tell me Belly told you what happened, I promise you nothing happened."

"I know nothing happened, Belly didn't have to tell me that. I know you wouldn't do that to me," I say.

"Then—?" He let's that hang in the air, unsure of what to say back to that.

"Why didn't you tell me she apologized to you?" I ask, my voice level. Trying not to convey all the emotion bottled up inside. "Why didn't you fell it was important that she apologized to me as well before you went to a beach day with her and her friends?" I ask, truly wanting to know.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I really don't know." He admits. "She told me that as a girl you wouldn't get the idea of us just being friends, and it made sense at the time."

I flinch as if his words slapped me. I take a step back, "I didn't realize you wanted to be friends with someone who has openly tried to separate us?" My voice is quiet, and I'm trying my best to keep the tears at bay.

"I don't know why! I really don't know why I did it?" He says panicked.

His eyes search my face, and it physically hurts me to see him so upset. I don't want him to feel like this because of me, but I'm so confused on what was going through his head to think this is okay?

"I need to tell you something," he says quietly. "But please. I need you to believe what I'm saying right now," he says stepping to me. I don't step back. I let him hold my forearms, wanting his touch as much as I don't. His eyes lock on mine, willing me to hear him. "I am so in love with you. So much of my life has been spent loving you from afar, and I can say having you love me back has been one of the greatest gifts in life. You are the reason I wake up smiling everyday. You are the last person I think of every night. You make my pain hurt less because you take half of it not letting me experience anything alone. I, love, you." He pauses between each word in I love you.

      He wants me to understand, and I want to appreciate the words he is saying but I can't let myself. I'm scared deep down. It swirls in my stomach, and my brain tries to think of every reason he could be saying this. Why is he saying this? Why is he needing me to know this before he has to tell me whatever he has to tell me.

A tear slips from one of his eyes, before he sniffles and looks up at the sky. "Conrad, you're scaring me," I say stepping back. "What happened?" I ask.

"She kissed me. I pulled away, right away but Nicole did kiss me."

She stole his kiss. She stole the lips that are supposed to be only mine for the rest of his life. I'm going to kill this bitch. Suddenly I wasn't upset with Conrad anymore. A clarity came over me. I understood that he is distracted right now. I'm not sure if Nicole knows about his Mom, but she can definitely tell he's different this summer. He's more clouded then he was last summer, and she used that to her advantage. I've never hated anyone more in this moment then I do her. I really am afraid for her, because the next time I see her I'm not sure if I can be the bigger person after this.

"She kissed you?" I ask, "how did she kiss you?!"

"She just leaned in and kissed me! I promise, Claire I promise you I pulled away."

"She kissed you?" I ask again. I can't stop picturing it, and I want to throw up everything I just ate. "She kissed you."

"Claire," Conrad says, he grabs my hands and I suddenly snap out of whatever trance I was just in.

I look down at our hands, and back up to him. "She tried to get Gigi to record it, but Gigi took the picture before Nicole kissed me. Gigi sent Belly the picture before anything happened and everyone started to call me, Steven, Belly — when Belly called Nicole we knew they knew we were together. She just pulled me down to kiss me, and I pulled back and left."

"What is wrong with her?" I ask. "Why can't she leave us alone?" I sniffle. Conrad comes over quickly when my first tear slides down my cheek. "I'm not mad at you, I'm just really mad right now at Nicole and it's coming out in tears! I just want her to leave us alone!"

      "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I put us in this situation this time. No more talking to her," he says. "I love you."

      "I love you too," I sigh. "I really do, dude." I laugh. "I literally shut down being mad at you."

      "Claire," he sighs, head dropping to mine. "Can I hug you now?"

      "Please d—" before I can even finish my sentence he's crushing me in a hug. "Im so glad we're good," I mumble into his chest.

      "I love you," he says. "I love you so much," before he pulls away from the hug and kisses me as if it's the last time he can ever do it again.

      His kisses are mine again, and I'll be damned if I ever let Nicole come between us again.