°•~𝙷𝙚𝐫ო𝙞𝐭𝐜𝐫𝞪𝐟𝐭 о𝘯𝙚ꜱႬ⭘𝐭ꜱ ~•°

Picnic table ( scardubs )

this is an alternate version of alone if ren and doc left bdubs bee-cause bdubs almost got ren killed

i didn't write yesterday because the og version of this was too. . .happy.

Words : 1041!! ( i don't include the note in my word counts! ever! )

Be Warned. thats all i can say.

Sorry Jellie.

º•Bdubs POV•º

I walked through the park, listening to some music and looking at the beautiful early morning sky. I walked over to a picnic table and sat down, laying my head on the table.

I sat there for a few minutes, thinking about a lot. Specifically how i managed to almost kill ren by leaving him alone in the living room

Well. . .i left ren alone, almost killed him, and now they left me completely. I understand why, it just hurts. . .it hurts to know im a monster.

I got snapped out of that thinking session as i felt somebody tap on my shoulder " uh, hey? " i turned my head and looked at the person behind me " huh? "

Despite it being a bit dark, since it was probably 5AM and dark, i could make out his long brown hair and green eyes

' oh god they're pretty '

" are you okay? " they asked, a hint of worry in their eyes.

" yeah, yeah im fine. " i choked out, trying to hide my nervousness.

" well okay, but can i sit with you? You kinda look lonely. . "

" i- i mean, okay? You can sit with me " i scooted over. They smiled at me and sat down beside me " thank you! my names scar by the way, but what are you doing here at 5AM? " they asked " its still dark out you know "

" bdubs, and yeah i can see that " i chuckled " i just decided early morning air was good for me. Why are you here? "

" same thing i guess, i just decided to go outside "

" now would you look at that! we already have so much in common " i said. " well not in height though. " he responded

My expression changed from, happy? To confused but still mad " i don't even know your name and you're making height jokes now? "

He chuckled " sorry, i've just never met somebody shorter than me! Im 5'11 "

" 5'11?! You look 6'2 from my perspective! " i exclaimed

" maybe its because you're short? "

" how dare you!- "

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked through the path again. I thought i could get some fresh air before going to work today. There was this feeling in my stomach that i couldn't quite figure out.

Maybe im hungry? sad? regretful for my actions? 

No. . .i totally miss scar. Its just he makes me feel. . .okay. He makes me feel like i've never done wrong.

As i reached the part where the picnic table was, i decided to do what i did yesterday, and sit down. I sat there for a few minutes, scrolling on my phone and such.

I waited

For him.

" Hi! " i jumped as scar greeted as he sat down beside me. i glared at him " you scared me! "

" sorry, short guy. " he chuckled. " still the height jokes? i thought we talked about not doing those. " i mumbled.

" oh yeah, i brought us breakfast, i guess " scar gave me a cookie " you know, i thought i'd get you something "

I took the cookie from his hands " and how do i know this is not poisoned? " i asked, jokingly. " oh come on! Do i look like the type to hurt my friend? "

' friend? '

' friend. . '

' that stings. '

" bdubs? "

" sorry! Heh- i zoned out a bit. " i exclaimed. " oh, okay! " he replied, biting into his cookie.

' man. Im in love with a person i don't even know properly. '

~~~~~~~~~~

every time i could, i found myself in the park, sitting on the picnic bench and talking with scar.

every time.

 i'd go to the park to talk with scar. Every Time we'd somehow have something new to talk about.

I hate to admit it, but i loved scar.

I loved him just like i did with ren and doc. Scar made me feel loved and cared about.

. . .

. . .

I didn't deserve that.

i didn't deserve his love

i didn't deserve love

I never did.

I sat at the table, waiting for scar. It was 9PM. The stars were scattered all over the sky.

I stared at the sky for a few minutes before i heard footsteps approaching. " hey bdubs! " scar greeted as he got closer.

I smiled before replying " hello scar! "

" sorry, i wasn't able to bake cookies tonight, heh! " he said as he sat beside me like always.

" oh no, i brought my own cookies! I figured i'd try out baking since you actually gave me your recipe. " i said, getting a cookie from the ziplock bag. " here " i said, handing it to him.

" aww! Thank you bdubs! " he said taking it from my hand. " so anyway, " scar started talking a he ate the cookie " jellie today didn't wanna get up from bed an- "

he froze before he started coughing, and that escalated to choking.

 i watched with a satisfied smile as he choked. " H-Hel-p " he tried to choke out multiple times, but it was no use. It wasn't like i was going to help.

I watched him choke until his body went stiff, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and his head fell on the table.

I checked if he was breathing and to my glee, he wasn't.

i made sure there wasn't anybody around when i pulled this off, so i just walked away with a smile knowing nobody would know what i did. nobody would find scar for a while.

I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve somebody so kind and caring to a monster like me. I didn't deserve anything.

Not even love.

But i thought telling scar to leave me alone was too. . .rude. I thought telling him to leave would hurt his feelings.

And plus, i wouldn't be able to have him anyways. he told me about this. . ." cub " that he liked.

I didn't want to hurt scar like i hurt my ren and doc.

So i decided, it was easier to just kill him before i did.

Im a monster. I know.

But i had to do what i had to do.

Im sorry Jellie.