PURE HEROINE II 13 REASONS WHY

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"Is that so?", Monty suddenly appears next to me again and I flinch. "Can't you leave me alone, just for now?" "I just came here to thank you for taking care of my sister, Els." "You could thank me by leaving me alone, Monty." "Haven't we talked about this already? You can't make me leave by trying to forget about me." 

"Exactly", Bryce adds and I groan, "It's not like we want to hurt you, you know." "Yeah, sure. It's also not like I want to forget about you guys. I'm just in a lockdown right now. It would be nice if you came back later", I reply sarcastically but the boys look at each other and shrug. "Fine."

"Ellie?" As soon as the boys have left, Jeff appears in front of me again giving me a worried look. "Yeah?" "Are you hallucinating?" "What, why?", I wonder acting like it's fine. "You looked like you were talking to someone and you mentioned Monty's name", Jeff tells me, "When did this start?" 

"At the party after we've remembered Monty", I admit, "Bryce is talking to me as well." "What are they saying?", Jeff asks me as if it was normal what's going on. I love him for making me feel so normal in times like these. "They don't want me to forget about them. That's why they always come back." 

"Do you need help with it?", Jeff finally asks me thinking about a therapist once again but I shake my head. "I appreciate being able to talk to them at the moment." Jeff nods and immediately looks to the door knob when we hear a noise outside and don't know where it comes from. 

"What if we die today?", Jeff whispers, "Almost dying was no fun." "If something happens to us today, I'm glad that we're together." "I still love you, Ellie. I want you to know that." "I'll always love you", I reply crying and take his hand into mine tightly, "We'll get though this together." If I die today, I haven't even told Scott how I still feel about him.

A few minutes later, the alarm finally goes off. We survived whatever has happened. I loosen the grip around Jeff's hand and stand up hugging Estela who cries out of relief. "We survived, E. We survived one more day." "Thanks for taking care of me, Els." "Whatever it takes, Stel."

"Hey, Els?", Monty speaks up next to me as I'm going for a walk. "Yeah, Monts?" "Thanks again for taking care of my sister. I knew you would do a lot for her but you would have taken a bullet for her today. I.. I wish I was here to thank you in real life", Monty says and his voice is shaking. 

None would ever see him cry, no one except for Sheri and I. "I wish you were here just to.. I don't even know what I would do first. I miss us playing games or me forcing you to go shopping with me, just everything." "Me too, Els, me too. Hey, Sheri's over there, I'll let you two talk alone. Tell her that I miss her."

"Hey, how's it going with Jason and you? Are you still planning your trip to Europe?" "Yes, we're doing great. I'm glad I gave it a real chance", she nods smiling and seems to be seriously happy with him, "He's helping me a lot with the situation." "I'm happy for you." "Hey, Ellie, I.. I'm sorry if I let you down. I know that we've planned our time at college together but I'll join you next year." 

"It's fine, Sher. I want you to be happy and if going to Europe with Jason makes you happy, I support you. You just have to promise me to visit me and have a place for me to visit you." "I'll throw Jason out of the bed for you", Sheri chuckles and takes my hand, "We're best friends, no matter where we are."

"So, what are we up to today?", Justin asks me as we arrive at my home. "Is the pool already built?", he asks excited grinning at me. "It was finished just yesterday", I chuckle and get to my room to change my clothes. Justin and I lay down on the loungers by the pool. "When was the last time that we've just sat in the garden and didn't worry about life?", Justin asks with a philosophical hint. 

"Probably at Bryce's before shit went down", I sigh remembering how it all started with Jeff's accident and Hannah's tapes, "Those stupid tapes." "Hey, Els, I.. my mom died", Justin suddenly tells me and I'm about to say how sorry I am but he interrupts me, "No need to say sorry. I don't care about her." "What's making you so emotional then?", I ask knowing that he's right. His mom and him never had a good relationship. 

"I.. I'm just really emotional thinking about how we will go to different colleges. We've never been seperated. We've always been with our group. Now that Bryce and Monty are gone, it feels different already. It feels like everything's over." 

"Justy, it's not over yet", I whisper touched by his words and worried about him, "Bryce and Monty.. no one could have imagined that something like this would happen. It hurts like hell, but we are still living. You and I. Sheri and Jeff. We're all still together and even if we go to different universities, we're still best friends." "Since the day that you guys defended me in kindergarden", Justin nods smiling sadly and I wonder what's going on but he would tell me if he was ready for it.

When I see Alex and Charlie in the hallway talking about prom, Alex of course being grumpy about prom in general. "Hey, you two", I greet them and turn to Charlie chuckling, "You've finally made him say yes?" "Yes, finally. Took me some time but we made it", Charlie replies lightly. "Congrats. By the way you two are a cute couple. Good luck for the future, boys." "Thank you, Ellie", Charlie says smiling and Alex nods.

"What's got you so happy?", I ask Estela as we meet at my car after school and she can't stop smiling. "Tyler asked me to go to prom with him." "I'm happy for you", I smile at her warmly. "Thanks, Ellie. Is it weird.. you know, Tyler and me? Because of Monty?", she asks me cautiously probably not knowing if she should mention his name in front of me. 

"No, not at all. You two got to know each other in a completely different basis. You seem to like each other, especially independantly from what your brother's done." "Good, because I'm nervous already. It's my first dance. How was your first dance for you?" I smile remembering my first dance. I've never wanted to go there until Jeff asked me out and we went there together. 

"You were prom queen and king with Jeff, right?" "Yes, we were", I nod, "At every dance we went together. I was nervous, so completely nervous. I asked Will thousands things but he couldn't help me. He's never been to a dance at high school and he can't do my make-up or pick my dress. But he's calmed me down. 'It's just prom. It's not like this is going to be the most important day for the rest of your life. College, marriage, kids. There are many more important days. You just have to enjoy them.' That's what he said. I was still nervous but when Jeff picked me up, I have calmed down. I knew we would be great together." 

"I loved seeing you with Jeff", Estela sighs smiling, "But Scotty and you were also great." "Scotty and I.. we're over", I decide in that moment but with a hint of sadness in my voice, "He's on the other half of the country anyways and until I'm there, things have changed." 

"I just wish you would smile again, too", she suddenly says sadly and I know what she's talking about. I look at my car's mirror in front of me and see Monty's necklace hanging around it, "He's taken me with him. I can only try to be happier but living without him, that's not living, it's surviving."