Demons & Angels

17.

17. And so She Wept

Olympia

I NEVER IMAGINED MYSELF TRAVELING MUCH. GOING OFF TO college had been a big enough step out of my comfort zone.

It pushed me further than I liked and caused panic attacks for the first two weeks before I had gotten used to it. I always felt my breath catch in my throat at the thought of something new and the familiar slithering up my throat like a snake.

Even with the threatening situation that led me here I could feel the panic that would seep into me. My anxiety never left even in a life-or-death type of scenario.

Even now my panic disorder refused to let me forget it.

Emerson, Lawson, and Reese had stopped in California for a few days leading us to a trip which was all about getting to enjoy the scenery. Of course, these three wouldn't be satisfied with just sightseeing. It isn't in their nature.

The first day hadn't been bad. Emerson and Lawson had planned out that day. It consisted of hitting up a diner for breakfast and then their giftshop to purchase some things.

Lawson had been kind enough to ask me if I wanted anything there. I passed up on the offer until we hit another shop where they were selling the state animal California Grizzly Bear in the shape of a stuffed animal.

I have such a soft spot for stuffed animals. I decided to cash in on Lawson offering to buy me that when we entered that shop.

After that I was carrying around a stuffed animal. Around dinner time after eating which we had done in the R.V. Emerson had wanted to go to one of the nearby national parks which so happened to be in the city near us.

Most of it was spent with small hikes and Emerson taking pictures.

The second day is where things started to get complicated. Reese got to plan out the day and he is far from tame.

He is everything I'd have avoided in college. A frat boy but with a bit more respect.

All of them except for maybe Emerson I'd have avoided. Although that is a lie, I'd have avoided him as well.

Reese on the other hand likes to party. He likes to socialize, and he likes going to the exact places I hate going.

Reese started the day off looking for a restaurant for us to go through. That had been pretty tame except that this one is more expensive than the ones I've seen them frequent at. They typically go to those hole in the walls that have delicious food despite their look.

This one is slightly more upscale, but not ridiculous. But I wouldn't have gone there on my own.

Perks of being a college student is that I can eat fast food all day and survive on dollar tacos. Ramen as well, but I had upgraded to a different type of instant noodle in the past few months.

And then every now and then my mom would send an easy meal plan for me to make in the microwave.

The R.V. definitely has some better things that my dorm lacked one of them being the stove and then an air fryer along with a toaster oven. I was finally getting a taste of real meals living with the three of them along with a nice dose of anxiety and panic.

The new restaurant brought along panic when scrambling over their menu for something to try. For a drink I went with my classic lemonade, something that I've learned to just chug.

My drinks always consisted of lemonade or water. I didn't like soda and restaurants rarely served hot tea to drink.

The restaurant wasn't too bad for what Reese had picked out today. I knew not to complain about it. They had invited me along, I'm a guest here. None of them had any obligation for me to come along much less be comfortable.