Unknown Desire

cuts like a knife

I stand on the other side of the door. I can hear Leah crying.. I'm a fucking idiot how could I lose control like that. Thank god she is so stubborn because if she had of got on that stage. I would have destroyed her and in turn myself. I storm down the stairs I need to get away from here. I head through the party down to the beach. The further away I am the better. Joe follows me, don't follow me Joe. I need to be alone. He stops and heads back, I know he will go to Leah. Which I'm grateful for, but I can't be near anyone right now. I'm too angry. Angry at myself how could I lose control like that. The way she looked at me and said those words. Show me the monster your trying so hard to hide. It was like a knife to the heart. Worse part she is right. I keep walking until its quite. I sit down head in hands. Why did you not stop the game I scold myself. She is going to leave you. She will never stay after that. Fuck I scream to myself. I hear footsteps Joe I told you I can't talk to you right now. Good thing I'm not Joe. I look up to see Leah standing there in her bathrobe. She has been crying hard I knew by her eyes. I'm ashamed I can't bare to look at her. Tom look at me. But I cant, she raises her voice Tom look at me now. I raise my head  as she approaches me. I'm sorry she says. I look at her confused your sorry. Yes I went too far.Leah I lost control and could have seriously hurt you. Yeah you could have but you didn't. And I pushed your buttons more than once. She sits down beside me. Tom i'm not gonna lie you scared me and I lashed out by saying what I said. I'm so sorry Leah. I never ever want to hurt you. I was out of line. I'll take you home in the morning. Excuse me Tom. You will take me home. I'm not going anywhere.Leah I can't control myself with you. You are better off away from me. Leah loses it, you are the one who fucking lectured me this morning about running away. Leah it's not the same. Tom it fucking is, you came into my life up ended it made me fall in love with you. And now because you say its all over. Fuck you Tom fuck you I rage tears streaming down my face. Tom OK if you wanna run at the first hurdle fine. She turns and walks off. I'm an idiot but I need to figure my head out. I stay on the beach until the sun comes up. I head back to talk to Leah, on my way up I see Joe he is pissed. She is gone he says. I stop dead in my tracks. Where I say. I don't know she got dressed and left. Wouldn't let me come with her. Tom you have really  fucked up. What did you do to her. Joe we need to find her. Tom let her go. I can't Joe, I just can't. Man you are fucking unbelievable sometimes he says. You get one shot at this and you fuck it up. You need to sort your shit or you are going to die a fucking alone.
Unlike you Joe, at least I tired you won't even put yourself out there. Cos I know fully what I can be Tom. You have seen it. But you just threw the best chance you had away. Because you wouldn't be honest. I told you to talk to her and now you fucked it up. Joe's word's hit deep because there true. I drop to my knees and punch the ground. Why do I always do this. Joe bends down and pulls me up. Because your a sad sack of shit like me who buries there emotions. Let's go find her. I run up the room and grab my phone to try call her. I'm gonna have to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness. I'm about to ring her number when I see a message. It's from Eric, I open it . And crumble to the floor. What is it Tom Joe asks. He has got her.
Who
Eric has Leah, I hand Joe the phone. What have I done.
Right get up now. I'll call ivor, Tom, Joe shouts at me get moving we don't have much time.
Joe calls Ivor, and follows Tom down stairs. Ivor rushes In with Natasha. How the fuck does he have Leah. We had a fight. And I stormed out and when she found me on the beach. I ignored her. She obviously left when I didn't follow her. Tom you fucking idiot Natasha shouts. God knows what he will do to her. Don't you think I know that, I shout.what does he want! CLARE
Well he can't have her Joe says. Guys I will go back we hear behind us. He wants me and your right God knows what he will do. Clare we are not turning you over to him but we will get Leah back. Natasha you stay with clare. Don't let anyone in or out of this house once we leave. I've got security on high alert. Right Tom ring Eric see what he wants . Video call him in the garden ask to see Leah. Make sure she is OK. I ring Eric,you took your time he answers. Show me Leah now. He turns the camera and leah is sitting still in her robe. Which makes no sense she wouldn't leave in just a robe.Joe said she was dressed Leah are you OK. She looks at me I can see her eyes are swollen from crying. Yes she says but I know she is lying. Leah has he touched you.
No she replies but I don't believe her. Leah I'm coming to get you. Eric turns the phone back.you know what I want Tom one pet for another. Eric if I find out you have done anything to Leah . You will pay you have gone too far. Empty threats Tom, you should have controlled your pet like I warned. I'm no Fucking pet I hear Leah in the background. I may need to teach her manners as you seem to be unable. Eric I swear to god you will regret this. Tom meet me at the Club bring Clare. Leah don't worry I'll sort this I say before Eric cuts Me off.
I look at Joe what do we do. If we don't bring clare we might not get Leah back. Also Leah is still in her robe she wasnt dressed. She was when i seen her.OK I have a friend on the force I'm going to ring him. Eric needs to be stopped bring clare but we are not handing her over. OK go get clare I'll meet you at the car, Ivor you stay here and wait for my call. We head out Joe rings his friend and he advises us on what to do. We tell Clare she will be fine and Eric won't get away with what he has done. She is terrifed. Joe is doing everything to control his temper. Me I don't know how I'll ever forgive myself for the last 12hrs. We get to the club no sign of Eric, we head in. I go to my office to check the security tape to make sure he hasn't been here already. I don't see him but I see that fucker Tim, he is waiting out back what the fuck has he got to do with this. I radio Joe to bring clare to me and go get that piece of shit.
I feel my temper is ready to explode. Clare comes in I put her in the closet and tell her not to come out until Joe or I come get her. I lock the office behind me. I can hear Tim arguing with Joe downstairs. I take deep a breath before I head down. I walk in and look at Tim, Talk now and don't lie to me. Or your life won't be worth living, you will beg me to end your life I say. It wasn't me i swear. Well that makes me think it was. I swear to you, I came to warn you about Eric. What about Eric I shout.
He told me he was going to get Leah  and he would show her exactly how a pet should behave. OK and how do you fit into all this. I was at a club and Eric was there he was going on about your place. How he would burn it to the ground with that bitch in it. I was drunk and was with Izzy. Izzy said is that Leah your talking about. She was pissed off about what happened in the office, I got fired. Plus you kicked us out of here. Izzy told Eric she would get him Leah. I don't know how she found her. Eric knew where we where. So Izzy must have snuck into the party when Eric came to distract us. I knew he was too calm. But why would Leah go with Izzy. I don't know I just got voice mail off Izzy an hour ago. He took his phone out and played the voicemail
Baby I got her, that bitch is going to pay. See you soon
So I rang her and she told me she Lured her out and Eric's men took her.
Why are you telling us this Tim. I don't want to be implicated in any of this. What Izzy did has nothing to do with me. Right me and leah had issues, but this is too far. Izzy has gone too far. I can tell he is scared shitless so I know he is telling the truth. I hear the door open in walks Eric but no Leah. Where is she Eric?
Oh Tom I will hand Leah over once I have clare. Not happening, I want Leah here now. Tom you are not in the position to barter see I couldn't care less for Clare but you love your pet. So I suggest you do as your told. Eric this is not a game, you have no idea what will happen if you harm her. Just as I'm about to lose it. In runs Leah with two guys chasing her. Joe runs straight at them. Before I can swing at Eric, Leah runs at him like a crazy woman. She claws at his face And knees him in the balls . Eric crumbles to the ground . Tom she cries tie him up. I grab Eric and drag him upstairs. Joe and surprisingly Tim have Eric's hence men under control. I sit Eric in a chair and strap his arms down. He is trying to get away. But the only way he is going to get away from me is if I have a heart attack and die while beating his ass. Leah leave I say . No she says you are not getting sent to prison for this dirt bag. Leah I shout leave. Tom don't tell me what to do. She walks towards Eric and punches him square in the jaw. I'm pretty sure she has broke her hand doing that. Leah are you ok. Yes but I'm going to make this fucker wish he was dead. He will never touch a woman again. I notice she has something in her hand its a knife.Leah stop this isn't you. You won't be able to live with yourself.Tom after what he has done, I think I'll be OK. Leah what did he do to you. I can see tears in her eyes. She looks away. I see red and run at Eric. I'll fucking kill you. I start to beat him.  I can't hear Leah begging me to stop. All I know is Joe pulls me off him. As the guards surround us. I Hope that fucker is dead. Leah is on the floor in a pool of her own tears. Joe drags me out to a nearby room. Tom you need to calm down. Leah needs you, she needs you right now. How can she ever forgive me for what he has done to her.Tom look at me but I can't as I trash the room rage has consumed me. Joe let's me wreck the place until I collapse to the floor. Are you done he asks. Right get up let's find Leah she needs you. I can't Joe
Tom get your fucking ass up and go get her. She fucking needs you. She will never forgive me. You are a selfish bastard Tom. That girl needs you and you are worried about your own guilt. Fuck I don't know you he says as he storms to the door
Tom your right you don't deserve her.
He walks out the guards are everywhere when I head back to where she was. She is still there Joe by her side and looking after her as usual.  I walk over to her my eyes can't meet hers. Leah are you ok. No I'm not nor will I ever be after tonight. I crumble at her feet. Leah I so sorry I'll never forgive myself for what he has done to you. We will make sure he goes down for it. Tom he didn't touch me. Sorry what I say. He didn't touch me. Leah what the fuck is going on. She takes a deep breath. Eric she cries was the drunk driver that killed Josh and Chloe. What I say
he told me he killed them. Apparently Chloe had been fucking him on the side also. And he didn't like it when she wanted Josh and not him. Because they never found the driver they assumed it was a drunk driver but it was Eric he followed her and killed them. I'm going to throw up, Eric had lost his fucking mind. The guards come back and want to speak to us all. I sit in stunned silence at Leah's revelation.
Joe goes with Leah to find her some clothes and release clare. I speak to the guards. They tell me not to leave the country as I may need to talk to them. All I want to do is run. This is a fucking nightmare. I head to the office the guards have just finished questioning Leah and are talking to clare. Leah can we talk. She looks at me great sadness in her eyes. She nods at me and follows me. Leah I'm so sorry for everything. For ever letting you enter this world. Involving you with Eric. I promise I won't contact you ever again. Sorry she says you are fucking breaking up with me. After what I've just been through. You are fucking running from me. You fucking bastard I hate you. I fucking hate you I scream at him. It's for the best Leah. I turn and walk away. Joe meets me on the way out. Drop clare to my house when they finish with her. What happened Leah, ask Tom I spit I'm done. Don't Leah he needs you. He doesn't want me. He has discarded me like the rest. I push past and leave once out side I feel sick. I throw up . Once I'm over it. I ask a guard to drop me home. I get back to my house find the spare key. I place it back where I found it. I text Joe to tell him. There is no milk or food. To pick something up for clare. I switch my phone off and climb into bed. I pray that sleep takes me and when I wake this was all a nightmare. A while later I hear the door it's Joe and clare. I sneak out of bed and lock the door. I can't talk to them. I climb back under the covers and cry myself asleep. How could he treat me like this. Only 48hrs ago he told me he loved me. I go between sleep. My heart is broken again I can't do this. I look at my phone and switch it on. It pings straight away messages from Natasha and Joe. I ring Natasha. Leah where are you are you ok. No I'm not he doesn't want me I cry. I'm coming over. No please don't clare is here with Joe and I don't want to talk to them. Natasha I need to get away from here, I can't do this it's too much. I'm going to book a flight and just go. I'll ring the guards and tell them when I land. Leah you can't run away. Why not it's what I do best. Where will you go. I don't know. OK I have an idea. I have a place in sorrento go there. Stay as long as you need. You can't tell anyone Natasha. You can't tell anyone where I am. I won't I promise. I'll come meet you at the end of summer. That way no one will suspect me. I'll get my driver to collect you from the airport and bring you to the house. It's yours as long as you need.
I pack a bag, and open the door quietly. I can see Joe is a sleep in the spare room. I'm going to miss him. Clares light is on she must be still awake. I head down stairs grab my passport I'll book a flight once in a taxi. I walk out leaving a note on the counter.
I'm sorry I had to go, this is too much for me to handle. I'm not sure when I'll be back but please don't come for me. Give me the time to process what has happened, and if it's meant to be we will find each other
Love always
Leah
X
I sneak out and walk down the street before calling a taxi. I'm just getting in the taxi when Tom drives past fuck. I say to the driver drive please as quick as you can. I slouch down not sure if he seen me.
We pull up to the airport, l pay look around and don't think he has seen me or followed me.
I walk in side it's quite as it the early  hours of the morning. I take a deep breath and go to check in. There is a queue. I'm tired I just want to get on that plane. I slowly reach the top hand over my details and hand over my luggage. I go through security and head to grab some water. My gate is opening in 5 minutes. My mind is whirling with emotions. Tom is going to be furious but I can't stay and process what Eric did. My heart hurts at the thought of that night. I grab my water and head to the gate. It's broading I move with the line and we are broaded and sat comfortably in no time. I feel relieved that Tom didn't see me. I close my eyes and pray sleep finds me. So far I appear to have a row to myself as the flight is only half full. I feel the plane taxi down the runway. The sound of the air hostess fades into the background. And I drift off to the land of nod. I'm Woke by turbulence and my head on someone's shoulder. I freeze but also the smell is familiar. I glance up and it's Tom. He is a sleep. Fuck what do I do we are mid flight. I can't go anywhere. How the fuck did he find me.
Natasha wouldn't have told him. I sit patiently for him to wake as I'm trapped on the inside. Thinking of how I will explain myself.
Another bout of turbulence and Tom wakes. I sit silently waiting for him to talk, I don't have to wait long. I'm not angry Leah he says. I look at him confused. Leah I've treated you awful. Because of my own hurt. I allowed you be taken by Eric. He could have done anything to you.
I'm sorry.
Tom how did you find me. I seen you so i followed you staying back enough so you couldn't see me.
Tom I need to be on my own to process what happened. I need space.
I understand Leah,but I can't lose you. I thought about that also. Leah you can't run from it. We need to deal with it. Together
I sigh, Tom i'm not leaving forever, just a short while. I need to be on my own. I need to just be.
Leah I understand but I want you, nothing has changed for me.
Tom please let me go, I just can't be near anyone at the minute. I feel my life has been full throttle lately. I need to stop and assess.
I need to breath.
OK Leah ..
The plane begins to descend. And we sit in silence until we are able to dismount. We head into the Airport I collect my bag. Natasha has a driver outside. We should not make him wait. I'm not going to come with you Leah. I look at him don't be silly Tom. You can stay a few days and head back. No Leah I will obey your wishes. Tom your being ridiculous. No I've heard you. Just don't leave it to long to return. And if you need anything ring me. He bends down and kisses me. I love you.
He turns and walks back through the airport, while I stand frozen to the spot.
Part of me wants to run after him,but I don't i just stand frozen by fear.
I don't know what to do anymore. The tears begin to flow. I need to get out of here. I head out and find the driver. He loads my bag. I stand and wait a minute silently hoping he will ignore my orders and come back to me. But he doesn't. I feel sick to my stomach as I sit in the car and pull away.
Tears flowing for all that I have lost again.
I close my eyes and all I can see is the pain in his eyes.  I've hurt him maybe we aren't meant too be....