Unknown Desire

The AfterMath

I was kept in for a couple of days,Tom wouldn't leave my side. I told him to go home and rest but he wouldn't leave. As much as I enjoyed the company I was worried he was was going to collapse from exhaustion. Joe tried to convince him by saying Erin wasn't settling. But he just said that we would keep her with us. The only benefit of him being here was we had a huge amount of time to talk and discuss our past. It's mad how our childhoods could be so different. My parents were so loving only ever wanting the best for me. Tom's just used him as leverage over the other. You wonder why they bothered having children. His mother was so cold towards him. If it wasn't for his grandparents I don't think he would know what it feels like to be loved.
We spoke about Josh also. I realised how much I let him away with and turn a blind eye too. I was such a fool for Josh and when I think about it, was I just afraid to let him go. The fear of being on my own after being together so long. I loved Josh but I wonder if it was more like a friendship kinda love.
Tom's love is different he wants me for me. My stomach still gets butterflies when he says my name. I hadn't felt that for a long Time with Josh.
There was still alot to discuss, but we will get there. And the more I see Tom with Erin, the more I fall in love with him.
He is just a natural with her, considering his own childhood and his fear.
I also feel no matter the outcome,Tom will never hurt her.
We are leaving the hospital today, thank god. I'm looking forward to a comfortable bed and decent food and looking after my little girl.
Tom is packing my bag, while we wait for the doctor to sign me out. He is quite. I ask if he is okay.
Yeah just happy to be leaving here and getting back on track. You sure that's all. Yeah that's all.
I call him over and wrap my arms around him. I love you Tom please don't keep things from me. I'm not I just want to get home to Erin. I reach up and kiss him. If you say your ok then I believe you I smile.
The doctor arrives telling me to take things easy and giving a prescription of pain meds. Your free to go any problems come straight back. We both say ok.
I rush out the door straight away. Dying to get home. Take it easy Leah or you will be back here the doctor shouts. Don't worry doc, I'm in no hurry to get back.
Tom is behind me with my bags. Leah slow down he calls. Sorry I feel if I don't get out of here. I never will. Don't worry we won't be back here in a hurry he laughs. 
We find the car and leave. Once out of the carpark I let out a deep breath. You ok Tom asks.
Yeah just delighted to be out. I know he smiles you can relax now.
Tom drives on for about 10mins and takes a turn off. I'm not sure of the turn. Are we not going home to get Erin. We are he says,just easier to go this way to avoid the city traffic. OK I smile. I'm tired so I drift off listening to the song on the radio.
I'm not sure how long I'm asleep when the car comes to a stop. I open my eyes but don't recognise where we are.  Where are we I say.
You will see is all Tom says as he gets out.
He comes around and opens my door.
I get out, and look around there is nothing. Tom if your trying to kill me and Bury my body I think you should know,I've nine lives.
He takes my hand and kisses it,follow me.
I do as I'm told. We walk down a pathway that leads to a beach. It's beautiful there isn't a single person around.
So beautiful,I say turning to Tom.
Well what do you think about building a home here, he says
What I say
Leah why don't we build our own home here.
I don't know what to say Tom.
Well hold that thought he says.
Getting down on one knee.
Leah please marry me.
I already said yes to marrying you Tom.
Well there has been some changes since then. So I wasn't sure.
The day Eric came for you. I had gone to get my Grandmother's ring to give to you. To show you how serious I was about commiting to our family. But when I came back it was chaos.
Leah I'm so sorry I left you that day.
I love you and want to spend the rest of my days with you and Erin. And I think building our own home together will be the first step.
So what do you say Leah.
She looks at me and smiles I'd love nothing more Tom.
She pulls me up and kisses me,well we better make it official as I take the ring from the box. I slide it on prefect I say.
She smiles just like you tom.
We walk along the beach and discuss our ideas for our forever home. I don't think I've ever felt this happy in my life. And it's all because of Leah she has given me everything and more than I could ever want.  OK let's go get our girl I say as I notice Leah is getting tired.
We head back to ivors where we have moved to the apartment for space. I finally feel the tension fade away now that Leah is home. Ivor has organised a meal to welcome her home and everyone seems happy and relaxed for a change. We shower and head to the main house. Erin is happy in her buggy she is growing fast. Everyone greets Leah with hugs and kisses. We really have found a family in these people. After dinner Natasha pulls me aside I was thinking  why don't you and Leah go stay in my house for a couple of weeks in sorrento the sun would do Leah the world of good. What about the club?
Tom we can manage things here.
I'm not sure Natasha, I've leaned on you guys alot recently.
Don't worry you will get my bill she laughs.
But seriously we can look after things here go be a family and reset. The club will be still standing once you get back. Plus you might not get a chance to get away once the building work starts.
Natasha I'll see if Leah is up for it and if she is we will head off for a couple of weeks.
Great she says with a smile and trots back over to Ivory.
Leah strolls over with Erin in her arms. What was that about?
Natasha has offered us her house in sorrento for a few weeks. She thinks the sun will help with your recovery. What about Erin I can't leave her again. Don't worry she will be coming with us.
OK let's go so.
Great I'll get Erin's passport sorted, no need I already have it. But how you need my signature. Tom about that I didn't put you on the birth cert .
What ?
I'm her father Leah!
I know Tom, calm down. I thought it best at the time if Eric found me. I'd be able to leave the country with her if I had to. But don't worry we will get it amended.
First thing tomorrow Leah,we are getting it sorted.
Yes sir I say.
I love when he is stern, it gets me hot and bothered. I smile at him with a wicked smile.
Leah take that look off your face.
What look,I say.
You know the look that usually gets you in trouble.
Mmm but I like trouble daddy.
Leah not happening you are just out of hospital. You where told to rest, so there will be no fun until the doctor says so.
My face turns in too a pout, I'm missing Tom's touch and need to feel him inside me.
It won't be long little girl, if you do what your told that is.
I'm not happy I say, I know baby but it be worth the wait.
Better be I say.
We head back to everyone and enjoy the rest of the evening. It's good to be home.
First thing true to his word,Tom has us up and heading to the registration office to change Erin's birth cert. Once done we head to the shops to get her holiday ready. I'm exhausted by lunchtime so I suggest we pop into the club for a break and bring Joe some lunch. Plus Erin needs feeding and I'm sure that she has left us a present in her nappy.
Joe is only delighted to see his god daughter even offers to change her nappy.
He is so good with her, I know we made a good choice choosing him. Erin will never want for anything with Joe in her corner.
Tom goes to the office to do a bit of work and I sit and have lunch with Joe. Glad to be off my feet as I'm exhausted. Leah you look tired you need to rest. I know but we are all sorted now so I will be taking it easy for the next couple of weeks and will be like brand new when we return.
Good to hear we have had enough drama for one year.
Don't worry Joe, I'm looking forward to things going back to the way they where. Well with the addition of little Miss Erin.
We head up to the office to see Tom. He is hard at work. I suggest I take Erin home and he stays and catches up.
I'll be home soon he says. I know I say kissing him goodbye.
I head home and begin to pack for our trip. I also start on dinner sheppards pie Tom's favourite. Little miss Erin is behaving herself while mammy gets everything ready. I'm knackered by the time I finish. Dinner is in the oven, Erin is asleep. I decide to hop in the shower before Tom gets back. The warm water eases the tension in my body it's been a long day. I hear the screen door open and feel him behind me. Hey baby he says as I turn to face him. How was your day, I ask. Good but I missed my girls. Well your home now and dinner will be ready in 20 mins. I could get used to this Leah.  Coming home after a long day, my two girls waiting for me with a home cooked meal. Don't get use to it, I say.
He bends down and kisses me choosing to ignore my comment on purpose. His kiss distracts me as he slowly moves to my breasts, I hiss as he tugs at my nipple. He smiles as works his way down my body. My moans are loud letting him know exactly what I want when he stops and picks up my loofah. He pours body wash on it and begins to latter my legs. Softly washing away my stresses. But I'm left disappointed I want him inside me like before.
As he moves up my body, I whisper fuck me. He looks at me, we can't baby its too soon your not healed fully. Tom why the fuck did you start if you weren't going to finish I say feeling frustrated and angry.
I'm sorry I shouldn't have, he reaches over and turns off the shower. He steps out handing me a towel. I grab it from him and storm out. Leah don't be mad, please I'm just being cautious.
I close the door of the bedroom and sit on the bed. Feeling like a fool. Tom follows me in. I'm sorry Leah, please don't be mad at me. I say nothing just stare at my feet. Trying to hold back my tears of rejection.
I just want to make sure you are recovered before we start having sex again, I don't want to hurt you.
Tom I think I know when I'm ready I'm not a porcelain doll.
Even still Leah,I think a couple of days to be safe.
Fine I say, just to get him to leave me alone.
Can you check on Erin and take dinner out of the oven while I get dressed I say.
Sure, he says and leaves me on my own.
Once he is outside I release the tears I had been holding back.
Feeling so stupid, unattractive and rejected. I throw on a tshirt and sweatpants. Why bother making an effort.
I pull my wet hair up into a messy bun and compose myself.  I wait a couple of minutes to make sure my eyes don't look like I've been crying.
I head out of the room and hear Tom talking to Erin. His now new number one girl
I scold myself for resenting my daughter for the attention she is receiving off her daddy.
But I feel things have changed between me and Tom and not in a way I'd like.
I stroll to the kitchen and start plating our dinner.
Tom settles Erin on her playmat, while we eat.
I can see him study me as i sit silently eating.
Leah what's wrong he asks?
I don't respond
Leah talk to me please.
I'm just tried Tom, today took alot out of me. I might just head to bed if that's OK.
Leah are you sure that's all that's bothering you.
Yes Erin bottles are made up and ready to go. Wake me if she doesn't settle I says as i stand to leave.
He grabs my arm and pulls me back.
I look at him as he says no goodnight  kiss.
Sorry I say and bend down and kiss him.
Go rest maybe this break away is what we need he says.
Yeah maybe I say as I head to bed to lick my wounds.