Unknown Desire

Return to dating

I was nervous, first date in over twenty years. Not sure i even wanted to go but the girls were like you need to get back out there your to young to be a lonely old widow/ cat lady.
I knew they where right but was it too soon.
Josh had passed away two years ago. Never in my life did I expect the knock on the door that night. I thought he had forgotten his keys. He had gone to pick up a takeaway.
I opened the door,once my eyes met the police officer I knew. She didn't even need to say a word my knees buckled I was deafened by the sound of my own heart racing. I dont remember much of that night it was like the world stopped turning.
Josh had gone to get takeaway,while I was in the shower on his way home a drunk driver lost control of his car and mounted the pat as josh was about to cross seeing the car mount the pat josh ran to shove a lady out of the way but the car was so fast. It struck them both killing them. That was the night the light in my heart went out.
Myself and josh met as kids in primary school we became friends and as time went on fell in love at the young age of 16 I had found my soul mate my happy ever after. My friends would laugh and say it won't last once you head to college. But it did we made it through the separation to only become closer. We had great plans to travel the world build a house start a family. We knew it was forever. So while traveling in Thailand he got down on one knee on a beach in phuket. I said yes and two weeks later we tied the knot . Our friends couldn't believe it with some commenting that we were too young and hadn't lived but we knew it was forever until that night when my fairytale became a nightmare.
Right leah, enough dwelling on the past you need to get ready how bad could it be a night out at least , a chance to get out of my own head. Josh would not want me to be hiding away from the world.
So Tim from work had asked me out to dinner he wasn't long in the company, seemed nice enough so on impulse I said yes more to get Tara off my back. And what is one date at least this way id know if im ready or not.
It was 6.30pm I was meeting him at 8.00pm in town so I better get my skates on.
At 7.30pm i took a look in the mirror and thought that will do leah a nice red dress nothing to flashy just the right amount of leg to boob ratio. If it was up to Tara I'd be half naked the dress she had dropped over just about covered my ass. Too much for the return to the dating scene. Plus not my style.
Just as I pulled my jacket on my phone buzzed it was Tara wishing me luck and to keep an open mind.

My mind was racing with doubts but I just told myself leah if your not comfortable make your excuses and leave. Tim knows your history he will understand.
I hear a beep from outside and realised my taxi was here. I pulled the door closed here is too the next chapter.
We had agreed to meet at a local Thai food restaurant as Tim had said it was his favourite. I also loved thai food so agreed it was a good choice as I pulled up in the taxi . I paid the driver and headed inside I was a little early Tim didn't appear to be there yet. I sat at the bar and ordered a drink. I checked my phone no messages he was twenty minutes late.
Great start just as I got up to leave, as I wasn't going to wait like a fool, half happy that I could retreat home and tell Tara I wasn't ready. When Tim rushed in full of apologies saying his taxi never turned up. I said you could have text with a hint of annoyance to my tone. To which again he apologised saying it had died holding up his phone and asking the waitress if he could put it on charge at the counter.
So I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
We sat down ordered a drink and scanned the menu. I had already viewed the menu online so knew what I was having. I order dim sum starter and chicken and cashew nuts for main. My absolute favourite.
Once our order was taken. Tim apologised again. I accepted his apology and decide to try enjoy the night.
Over dinner we chatted about life work and Tim came across quite well offering to pay for dinner to which I protested and he said he wouldn't dare take payment especially after arriving late. When he received his phone back. He checked his messages and asked did I want to go to a club a few friends were out at kals a new club that was all people were talking about.
I was a bit reluctant but Tim was like come on let me show you a good time. Live a little. So I gave in thinking ill go for an hour and be home by 12.00am cinderella won't have a patch on me. And to be fair I was enjoying Tim's company.
So we left the restaurant and walked to the club as it was only 5 minutes away.
We arrive at Kals and the queue is half way down the block. I groan inwards at the though of standing in line in heels that are already starting to hurt. Its been a while since I've wore heels. I turned to Tim and say I don't think we will get it slightly praying he agrees and we call it a night.
Tim turns to me, Leah you have to have a little fate its all about who you know in this town. Like he was some big wig. I actually cringe at his words. He marches us up to the top of the queue as we get daggers off the people already queuing. I nearly hope we don't get in to see the look on his face. As im begining to feel a little uncomfortable with Tims change in behaviour.
Of course Tim walks up and he is on the list so in we go. While Tim spouts out more cocky crap like stick with me babe, I've got the hook up. Id probably laugh out loud only i get distracted by our surroundings. Through the doors the bar is very luxurious with booths for private parties and tables for more intimate settings. The lights are low and there is alady singing near a piano. The booths are made up of black leather and gold trim. There is a very seductive feel to this place. I kinda like it not what I was expecting at all.
Tim's voice brings me back to reality asking do I want some champagne. when I realise we are at a booth filled with people. Very loud people. I refuse saying I dont drink it and that Id go the bar and grab myself a drink curious to explore alittle more. Tim tells me he will grab me a drink on his way back from the bathroom i say a gin.
So I'm left standing with a group of strangers as Tim has failed to introduce me to anyone. And they all appear to be busy shouting at each other. So I just stand there waiting for Tim.
After 30mins there is no sign of Tim and I'm starting to get pissed off.
So I decide to go the loo and head home clearly Tim has forgot about me. Bloody typical I didn't even want to come here.
Inside the toilets they are like something out of a movie, marble sinks big heavy doors on each cubicle. Black tiles with a gold marble effect. Who ever designed this place had great taste very sensual.
I will suggest it to Tara for a girls night out, when I eventually forgive her for this awful date.
As I enter the cubicle I hear laughter from the cubicle beside me. And a girls voice says Tim your so naughty. I stop midway. Did she just say Tim. I close the door and start to do my business. When I hear his voice,Tim says I'm hear with a girl from work. Her friend badger me to take her out. She has a nice body but not as hot as yours izzy. I sit there stunned into silence while he continues I was hoping to at least get a shag out of it but I doubt that will happen she seems a bit fridget. Maybe a few drinks will loosen her up.
To which Izzy replies well i'm free tonight and its been awhile baby. I can't believe my ears I'm raging. I flush the toilet and leave praying to get out ahead of them. I don't even attempt to wash my hands I just need to get out of there. As I hold back the tears. I'll never forgive Tara for this.
I'm mortified...I knew this wasn't a good idea.