ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ [eddie munson]

ᴀɪɴᴛ ɴᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄɪᴛʏ

** tw: alcohol and substance abuse **

The car engine sputtered when Lorraine turned the key, shutting it off. She placed her hands on the wheel, squeezing tight. It's been too long since she's been here. It's like she stepped back to summer of 1984, before the mall burned down, before the crazy shit that usually happens around here started to get even more crazy. She sighed, it really never changes, does it? They say small towns are quiet and relaxed. Suburbia's finest. Most people never realize that it's the complete opposite, living in a city for two years really puts that into perspective.

She opened the car door and stood there, looking at the door of the trailer home. It was a scary moment, she hadn't spoken to her father since the day she left. Other than a letter every now and then, she wouldn't call. She couldn't muster the feeling of another disappointing fate in this family's history. Only did she hear his voice when she called last week.

"Hi Dad..", she softly said, almost in tears. Lorraine clutched the cord, wrapping it around her fingers and leaning on the wall. The feeling of defeat could be heard over the silence. Her father wasn't a bad man, but just like her, he couldn't express his feelings as well as he wanted.

Lorraine couldn't afford the city anymore. Between weekends at the bar and the couple of failed attempts of publishers and newspapers turning her stories down, she had only what she could carry in a gym bag. She wanted to avoid this moment as long as she could, couch surfing or sleeping at the venue when she could. It came to a point where she couldn't take it anymore and, as much as it pained her to come back, there she was.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that she was already at the door, hand on the door handle. She sucked in a breath of hot, stangit summer air, and pushed down. Inside the trailer home, a smell of humidity filled her nostrils. She could see the silhouette of her father sitting in the armchair to the right of her. Placed directly in front of the television. You could hear the buzz of the speakers crackling, a faint noise of the newscaster spouting out the continuous investigation of the devastating fire in Hawkin's Mall.

He turned only slightly, nodding and mumbling a hello to Lorry. He stood up slowly, facing Lorraine. She looked at the man, almost a stranger, who had more gray hair than she remembered. The wrinkles around his bushy eyebrows, the faint smell of pipe tobacco making its way towards her. He had a solid frame, although his limbs seemed to hang like twigs. He slowly started to shuffle to the kitchen area where Lorraine stood motionless. He stretched out his hand towards her. Hesitant at first, she took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze and showing her a small smile.

"Well, I set up the couch to your liking. I got a small TV in the bedroom, so I shouldn't be in your hair too much." He said, gesturing to the couch planted against the wall, next to the television.

"I uh..." He trailed off, looking around the small trailer as if he had forgotten how to speak to his own daughter. "Well, Monday and Tuesday I have double shifts at the shipping unit, and..." he looked at his shoes and started tapping them, leaning his hands on his hips. "Oh, yeah, there's cold beer in the fridge most days, if you finish them you buy a new pack."

"Uh, thanks... Dad". Lorraine struggled to say the last part, a warm welcome indeed.

"Okay, well, I'm off to work. I'll see you around.", he said, grabbing the hat that hung on the coat rack. He planted it on his head, turning to give a small wave, and left the trailer home.

Lorraine swung the gym bag onto the couch, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She pulled her hair into a short ponytail, looking around the room. It was literally how she remembered, yellow patterned wallpaper that peeled at the corners, deep red carpet, the smell of pipe tobacco and a faint hint of witch-hazel perfume, her mother's. And there she stood, once again alone in the smallest, most asphyxiating place in the world.