Call Me Blade✔

Thirty-Seven: Third time's the charm

Chapter song: Painkillers by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

****
My eyes open, the bright fluorescent lights temporarily blinding me as my vision adjusts. It takes a few seconds for me to get my bearings, the beeping of machines and white sheets covering my body indicate to me that I'm in a hospital.

I've been here enough times to know.

The mild throbbing in my arm makes me lift one up and examine the red, irritated skin. The stitched vertical cut taunts me as I'm reminded again that I can't do anything right. Not even kill myself.

As I stare at the wounded skin, I laugh, unable to believe that I survived yet another suicide attempt.

Why is life trying so hard to keep me here when I clearly don't want to be?

Next time I'll slit the tops of my feet too.

Soon my laughter turns to cries and I think I lose a piece of my mind as I rabidly pick at the stitches to try undoing the thread that is keeping me alive.

The curtains open and I see Melissa rush in behind the doctors who are trying to hold me down. Deep, gut wrenching rage fills me when I see Melissa's look of sympathy as I thrash in the doctor's grip. I scream, pulling out the I.V then continue trying to rip out my stitches.

Third time is the charm I hope.

Or not.

I cry out again in frustration when I see a doctor pull out a syringe and jab it into my arm, my body immediately relaxing as my eyes droop.

Laying back in the bed, I whimper softly before succumbing to darkness.

I don't want to be alive anymore.

****

"You're gonna make us late!" I can hear the agitation in Farrah's voice as I quickly try to put on my shoes. I tell her I'm coming, hurrying down to her. She's already waiting for me at the door, looking well put together in her jeans and button up shirt.

"There you are. The bus will be here in five minutes, we have to hurry!" She reaches for my hand and I link my fingers with hers. Mom and dad left already so Farrah has to take me to school.

"Shoot!" Farrah grumbles as my bottle slips out of my bag and rolls off. She runs after it, managing to get it before it goes too far.

"We're gonna miss the bus," she sighs as she catches up to me. Her face lights up as she seems to get an idea. "Wanna do something a little different today?"

I nod, feeling excited. I'm happy to do anything with Farrah.

She grins. "We'll take a short cut to the bus stop, but you have to stay close and don't let go of my hand, okay?"

I promise to follow her instructions and we take a different route than usual. I feel nervous. Mom and dad always stress that we cannot take any other routes and to always stay on the main roads, but today is an emergency so they should understand.

Farrah leads me through an alley way. It looks sketchy. Trash cans are knocked over so trash litters the ground. I see a rat scurry into hiding and I cringe. Some men leaning on the wall whistle at us as we pass and my grip on Farrah's hand tightens. She looks down at me with a smile.

"It's okay. Don't be scared."

"This is no place for pretty little girls like you." one of the mean say, his voice low. It sounded threatening, like he knew something we don't.