Call Me Blade✔

Twenty-Five: You can let someone else care for you

I missed more than a couple days of school. I missed a whole week to take care of Melissa. It's reckless to miss this many classes so close to the end of the year, but as usual... I don't really have a choice. She's looking better now. Her bruises have faded a bit and the swelling on her face has gone down. She's even able to get up and walk around which she could barely do four days ago.

I'm finally able to return to school, feeling Melissa is well enough on her own. I'm not necessarily looking forward to classes but I prefer there than here.
Being home all week at Melissa's beck and call had given me time to think about Dustin and my friendship with him.

It'll be hard having to cut him off. He finally thinks we're friends and we are, but my life is too complicated to have him in it. Too much drama and too many secrets. All my friendship will bring him is pain.

That theory was proven right when Josh attacked Dustin two weeks ago.

As much I tell myself it wasn't my fault, I can't deny the role I played. If Dustin hadn't stood up for me all those weeks ago, Josh wouldn't have targeted him. If Dustin continues to be friends with me, he'll continue to get picked on. He deserves better and I can't give it to him unless I remove myself completely. Simple as that.

I'll tell him today. Might as well rip the band-aid off. I already have the message typed out on my phone.

The walk to school feels heavy even though I already dropped off Faith. The thought of having this conversation with Dustin and cutting him off after we just barely became friends is weighing me down.

Seeing him on campus makes my heart clench. His face lights up when he sees me and I want to dig myself into a hole and never come out.

I'm such a burden.

"Hey," he says, coming up to me. "I've missed you. You've been gone since Wednesday. Where have you been?"

I take a deep breath, handing him my phone with the written message.

He raises an eyebrow at me before reading the screen. His face falls as he reads the lengthy paragraph I typed out in the notes app, and I have to look away so I don't back down.

Dustin hands me my phone, his facial expression impassive. "No." He says simply.

No? What does he mean by that?

"Blade, what Josh did to me isn't even remotely your fault. I don't know how you even came to that conclusion. Josh is an asshole who bullies you. That's on him. Never you. I chose to stand up to him on my first day here. You didn't force me to do that. I knew what I was getting myself into. And I'd do it again. I refuse to stand by and let bullies get away with it." He scoffs. "How many times will you try to push me away before you realize I'm not going anywhere?" He sounds angry. I don't blame him, but he doesn't understand that this is for the best.

I step back, deciding that walking away is the only way for him to realize I'm being serious. He doesn't let me though. Instead, he grabs my arm, forcing me to turn to him. The first buzzer for class has already sounded and students are piling into the building, but he doesn't seem to care.

"I'm not letting you walk away from me," he sighs deeply, hurt evident in his voice. "Who hurt you so bad that you believe you have to be alone?"

Something about that triggers me, and I don't even realize I'm crying until Dustin wipes my tears from my face. He pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. He holds me, and I let him, silently crying into his chest.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I pull away, stunned that I let that happen. I hastily wipe away remaining tears and walk off, but Dustin just strides beside me, easily keeping up with my steps.

"You can let someone else care about you."

I don't answer, feeling too vulnerable and exposed. It's too much too fast and I can't handle it. I was supposed to be in control of the situation and now I'm barely in control of myself.

What is happening?

"I won't push you, Blade. I can tell there's more going on with you, but you can't get rid of me that easily. I want to be your friend. I don't know what else I have to do to prove that to you."

I don't know either.

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