Call Me Blade✔

Twenty-eight: Maybe I am crazy

It's weird not having Melissa at home. I'm used to her just being there and her absence is almost unnerving. She's not an easy person to be around but I'm so used to her presence and the tension it brings that I don't know how to feel when she's gone.

I keep expecting her to be there and it takes a moment for my brain to truly relax and not worry about her bursting through the door.

She left almost two weeks ago and I've managed to let myself believe she'll be gone a while. I looked up rehab and saw that you're apparently supposed to sign in for a set amount of time that is mandatory and the facility won't release you until that time is up.

Melissa told me she'd be gone for a month, and I'm hoping that's how long she's required to stay.

I break a small piece of my toast off and put it in Faith's outstretched hand. She immediately shoves it in her mouth and gnaws on it. It's a cloudy day today and the ominous looking clouds give the impression it'll rain later.

I like rain, but usually rain means thunder and thunder gives me anxiety. The sudden loud claps would put anyone on edge.

I greet Dustin with a wave when I see him next to his car. He breaks into a grin when he spots me and quickly comes over.

"Blade."

I smile at him, adjusting my bag on my back.

"Have you thought about my mom's proposal?"

I chortle at his wording, amused by how formal he sounds. Deep down, I think it can be fun, but I also feel skeptical about it. Staying at their house for a week seems too personal and I don't have many details on what the sleeping arrangements would be.

I shrug in response to his question.

"There will be ice cream."

I pause, raising an eyebrow at him.

I type into my phone, 'Ice cream you say?'

He nods, grinning.

I smile, getting into his car.

"Would you like to hear more? I've now made it my mission to convince you."

I nod and he goes into a ramble about every possible detail. What kind of food we'll eat, how long the drive is, what activities we'll be doing, what the sleeping arrangements are, what color his bike is, where will ride in the car. Everything.

"So will you come?"

Yes. I mouth.

"Yes. As in yes you'll go?"

I nod.

He looks shocked.

"Really? Your parents are cool with it?

I laugh, catching myself by surprise, and he looks at me confused look.

I nod again.

I'll be bringing Faith too. I show him the screen and he looks more confused.

"Okay."

***
Even though she has been here the past few days, I'm still surprised to see Alice in the library. She hasn't been looking good. Her hoodie and jeans look wrinkled and frumpy on her usually well-dressed body. I don't approach her, or greet her in any way, just continuing on to my corner.

I'm startled by the door slamming, the sound rumbling through the otherwise quiet room.

"There she is!" I hear Dya yell as she enters the library. I shrink in my seat when I see her and Jordan. She walks over to Alice; a sickening smile on her face. "Hey, bestie."

"God, this is where you've been hiding?" Jordan snickers. "In the library? Like a loser?"

Alice shrinks into her seat, pulling her hood up. "Can you guys just leave me alone?"

Jordan pouts. "But we're your friends, and you're going through a tough time right now. You need us."

Alice sneers, her voice hard. "The hard time you're putting me through?"

"Excuse me?" Dya crosses her arm, looking amused.

"It's no secret you guys leaked that video," Alice continues, straightening up her shoulders. "You're fucking bitches."

Dya and Jordan laugh and Dya speaks up. "We're bitches? Last time I checked, you were right there with us."

"Yea, and you are the biggest bitch of them all. Even to us. We might not have leaked the video-"

"But you deserve this." Dya finishes for Jordan.

"Oh look... she's crying." Jordan teases.

"Aww."

"Fuck you," Alice hisses, her voice wobbly.

"Actually," Dya ponders. "We'll save that for you, slut."

With that, both girls get up and walk away, leaving Alice crying in the school library.

I feel bad for her. It's a horrible feeling being treated like that and while I might not know what's it like to lose friends in such a way; I am quite familiar with feeling like an outsider who doesn't want to be alive.

I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. Even Alice. Her soft cries sound amplified in the otherwise quiet room and I hate myself for pitying her.

She has always been horrible to me, but I can't bring myself to hate her right now. It's hard to be hateful when you see someone in a place you've spent most of your days.

So I do something I never thought I would do in a million years.

I scribble on a piece of paper and I get up out of my seat, walking over to her and putting the piece of paper down on the table.

She looks at me like I'm crazy, and I don't blame her. Maybe I am crazy.

I don't stick around. At the end of the day she was terrible to me, and in no universe will we ever be friends. Or anything of the sort.

But maybe this is an opportunity for me to practice forgiveness. I have to start somewhere and with the work I'll be putting in with Melissa. I better start now.
****