Twenty-Four: Drown it out

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Chapter song: Bliss City by Odie

*****

I don't particularly like Melissa.

She's abusive, mean and selfish. She hates me being alive almost as much as I do, but that doesn't mean I wish bad on her. I don't want her to get beaten up by her toxic boyfriend or be used like a disposable play thing whenever he feels like.

I don't like her; however, I don't want her to be abused.

Like right now.

I can hear her fighting with Todd. He keeps yelling at her and she screams at him. It sounds intense. I figure fighting usually is.

Most times I'm forced to listen to their shouts that trigger me. Instead, I take out the small box Dustin gave me, and open it. Inside are an Ipod mini and a pair of headphones.

I don't try to resist the stupid smile on my face. This is so sweet. He won't ever know just how thoughtful this gift is.

My smile widens as I look through the playlists he made.

Dustin's favorites
Good jams
For Blade

Of course, I choose the For Blade playlist, and click the first song before laying on my back, staring at the ceiling.

The instrumental and singing of the song is relaxing. I allow myself to drift off to a different place, leaving the miserable present.

I replay one of my favorite memories in my head as the song plays.

It was the first time my parents took us to an amusement park. Farrah and I were so excited to go on all the rides. I had probably eaten my body weight in cotton candy. We rode so many roller coasters, and I felt on top of the world. The picture of us on the River Log ride is still in the photo book. It's one of my favorite pictures.

The loud knocking on my door makes me jump up. I shake my head, attempting to bring myself back as the knocking gets louder.

I tensely walk to the door, opening it a crack to see Melissa sitting on the floor, blood seeping from her nose. She looks awful with her bruised face and body. She is in just a bra and tights so her sickenly bruised torso is on full display.

Without her telling me to, I help her off the floor, walking her to her room before fetching first aid supplies from my room.

What a life we live.

Focusing on Melissa's nose first, I carefully clean her nose up. She winces a couple times, moaning softly.

After she's cleaned up, I type into my phone to let her know I'll be making her tea. She nods weakly, snuggling into her sheets. I bring her some herbal tea several minutes later and leave it on her nightstand. "Thank you," she mumbles out as I leave her room.

****

I stayed home from school the next day to take care of Melissa. She can barely move, her body severely damaged from what Todd did to her.

Deep down, I hoped this will finally make her leave him for good but I know my hope is wasted. She's too dependent on him to leave. She won't get better for herself and she won't get better for Faith, so what's left?

I make soup for her again. It goes down easier than solid food does and gives her the fluids she needs.

This is worse than the last one. The bruising is more extensive and her face looks worse than before. With one eye swollen shut and a busted lip, she looks way worse than I've ever seen her.

She barely eats any soup. Her body too weak and fragile to do much but sleep. I give her a sponge bath, wiping away dried blood. I try to make her as comfortable as possible in her bed before leaving her to sleep.

I make a trip to the pharmacy to buy mild pain killers and some more supplies to care for her wounds. I don't miss the look of concern on the cashier's eyes as I drop gauze, peroxide, Tylenol, Advil and cotton swabs on the counter.

Melissa is awake when I get back. I offer her some painkillers to which she scoffs.

"These won't do shit," she grumbles. "I have oxys in the bathroom cabinet." She sits, wincing as she does so. "Yellow bottle."

I shouldn't be surprised that she has high grade pain killers available on hand. She has access to a lot of drugs, but it ticks me off a bit that she's not even going to try to be sober.

When will enough be enough?

I still do as I'm told, and grab the painkillers for her. I had also brought up a bowl of soup hoping she'd eat more. Surprisingly enough, she eats more than earlier, and when she's finished, she drifts off to sleep leaving me to clean up.

I stay my room for the rest of the day, playing with Faith, and I check on Melissa occasionally to make sure she's hydrated. The rest of my free time is dedicated to school work since I know I'll be missing classes for a couple days.

*****

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