i have been planning this campaign for what feels like years, i've been planning ever since i moved back to hawkins with my friends. dustin has been saying how much he's missed playing d&d, saying they didn't want to play without me. they are such good friends for that, for waiting on me and not joining another party behind my back. i wouldn't blame them if they did, its our favorite thing. but now that i was home, i missed playing too. i wanted to make a campaign for all of us to play and i was almost finished and it was just about done.
i also have been working on a painting i made for mike since the spring, i already finished it and i've been waiting to give it to him, but i haven't found the right time yet..
i listened to music on old vinyls that used to be jonathan's while getting everything organized when i heard a knock on my door.
-"yeah?" i called over the loud music, not hearing my door open when it did.
after not hearing response from behind me, i turned around and saw el standing in the doorway. she looked almost like she wanted to cry. she was wearing an old, long sleeve polo of mine that was blue, black and grey striped and white pants.
i stand up from my desk and walk over to my record player and turning it off to see what el needed from me.
-"can we talk?" she softly mumbled, looking up at me through her long and thin bangs.
-"yeah, sure.." i nodded, sitting down on my bed and waiting for her to do the same.
she slowly walked over after shutting my creaking, loud door and sitting across from me on the bed. i anticipated her to speak but she didn't, she looked down at her lap for a while..
as i was about to ask what it is she wanted to talk about, her voice spoke up once again.
-"will.. am i pretty?" she mumbled quietly, seemingly disappointed.
why is she asking me this? of course she's pretty! she's perfect, how could she think differently?
-"yes, you're very pretty. why, do you think youre not?" i ask, scooting closer on the bed to her, crossing my legs.
-"because, mike never tells me i am anymore. max does all the time, but it might just be a girl thing."
mike? but mike adores her..
-"well, i know mike loves you a lot, of course youre pretty.. el. did someone tell you that you aren't, or..?" i ask, trying to help her out and get an answer out of her.
-"no, i just feel so different from all the other girls on the squad besides max. theyre all so pretty and perfect looking.. i just wish i had that much confidence and their features." she looked at her lap again, making me feel guilty.
-"what? you want to look like chrissy cunningham and donna reed?" i ask, thinking of the only popular hawkins high cheerleader names that i could remember.
she looks up at me with a small chuckle and her lips curving up a little bit, nodding slightly.
-"those girls have nothing on you, el. they should be jealous of you.. youre perfect just the way you are. whatever mike says.. or doesn't say, it doesnt change anything. i think you're beautiful." i whispered, getting a little annoyed that she could ever think that.
her eyes practically lit up hearing the words come out of my mouth, standing up and hugging me tightly in her reach.
i smiled from above her shoulder before she pulled away and smiled.
-"thanks, will. youre the best." she giggled, before slowly turning around, walking away and shutting my door behind her.
how could el ever think that? she's one of the prettiest girls i know, she's everything i want to be. she has everything now! the perfect hair, perfect friends, perfect boyfriend.. she has it all. and what do i have? all i have is music and my friends i feel like i'm slowly slipping away from.
as i was slipping my shoes over my feet, my mom peaked her head through my door.
-"5 minutes before we leave, honey." my mother perkily smiled at me before leaving again.
i was so excited for this campaign, i've been working so so hard and im so excited to get to play with all of my best friends again.
its going to be the best weekend ever.
_
at school, i was in the library with max and she kept on talking to me in the corner of the room while everyone else was trying to read. her and i have been getting a little closer as friends unlike we used to be, we talk a lot and we love to play nintendo and at the arcade together. plus, she recently got hired at the arcade with keith so it gives all of us a pass inside.
-"anyway, do you wanna go to work with me today? i don't have cheer practice." she offered.
-"i don't know, i already have a lot of work to do from this morning." i shrugged my shoulders.
-"well, if you finish it, will you be there afterwards?"she asked, flipping the page of her book.
-"uh.. i guess so. i can bring dustin too." i nodded, making a bright smile turn up on her face.
she had been going through a lot these past 2 years.. with having to take care of her mother and her brother dying, shes been in a really dark mind set.. after all of us moved, i can tell it makes her feel better. i try to be there for her as much as i can, but things just keep on getting more and more complicated. everyone is changing and growing up.. it's not as easy as it used to be for us.
but maybe this change is good, maybe it's for the best. maybe this is just what everyone needs. it's just what i need.
as i was walking through the halls, i felt a shoulder bumping into mine as someone passed by, mumbling something to me.
-"welcome back, zombie boy."
i watched as the person walked away and out of sight near the end of the hall.
people are still stuck on calling me that?
that was years ago, you'd think by now they'd come up with something different.
but nope, im still zombie boy.
i sigh, rolling my eyes as i passed through tons of people to get to my locker.
i stood by my thin, khaki colored locker and punched in the numbers through my padlock
3
0
1
4
once i opened my locker and started running through my books to find the right ones, my locker door opened wider and mike came to my view.
-"hey?" i awkwardly smiled, wondering why he was randomly stopping for me.
-"hey.. have you seen el? shes kind of been ghosting me all morning." he chuckled nervously, making my heart sink a bit. he gave me this look, it was hard to explain.. he looked cheerful and his eyes looked like they were glowing but he was worried..
-"uh, shes in mr kowalski's class right now." i mumbled, slowly turning back around to locker, breaking eye contact and silently hoping for him to go away.
-"what's that?" he asked, making me silently sigh to myself knowing he was still there.
i look to where he was pointing to, it was the painting i made for him. i didn't want him to see it yet, i wanted to wait for the right time.
-"oh, just a painting i've been working on." i shook my head, trying to break eye contact.
-"oh, that painting? el told me about that! whos the lucky girl?" he smirked at me, making my heart skip out of my chest.
-"what?" i chuckled, delusional about what he was talking about, now making full eye contact.
-"the painting, who's it for? el said it was for a girl you might like." he shrugged, awkwardly chuckling.
i was shocked, a girl? she really thought it was for a girl?? just because i havent shown her it, she thinks it's for a girl?
-"anyway, can i see it?" he asked, breaking the awkward tension.
-"no!" the word slipped out of my mouth like an overflowing sink.
he looked at me weirdly on why i was so snappy, i chuckle awkwardly before shutting my locker.
-"sorry, i just mean it's not done yet. i don't want anyone to see it yet." i lied before walking away myself from the awkward situation.
fuck.
mike thinks i like a girl?
and he didnt even seem upset about it..
so he really must not see me the way i see him.
el put that in his head.
of course i don't like a girl!
i cant blame el though, i always yell at her when she wants to see my painting. it's because it's for mike, her boyfriend. the guy i have feelings for.. of course she'd think it's for a girl. i don't even know if she knows what being gay is or means. she'd probably find it weird, just like everyone else.
couldn't blame her.
