"Im sorry, we did everything we could."
joyce's screams and sobs were faint in my mind, my mind clouded with thoughts.
Wills dead.
he's dead.
he's never coming back.
Lucas held me in his arms as i broke down, sobbing.
El quickly ran up to the nurse before she could walk away.
El-"what room was he in??" she asked frantically.
nurse -"room 98. you're welcome to see him before he'll be transferred-"
El didn't wait for her to speak and ran straight to the elevator.
Lucas, dustin and I all noticed and chased after her.
Dustin -"El! what are you doing!" he yelled through sobs!
we chased her but we missed the elevator and it closed.
-"the stairs" i said running towards them.
we ran up the 3 levels of stairs until we found his room. El was already in there, holding his hand.
-"What are you doing, el? he's gone." i said between cries.
El - "no. no he's not."
we watched in confusion as she pressed her hand against his heart.
she was sitting there for what seems like hours, until we heard it. the heart monitor beeping.
I ran out of the room, screaming for a doctor.
Doctors and nurses swarmed the room, confused and terrified. El moved out of the way and approached us, wiping her nose.
El brought him back.
i practically shoved her into my arms, sobbing and thanking her.
everyone else piled on, practically suffocating her. Will is alive.
All because of El.
_
i listened in as nurses spoke to Joyce, Hopper and Jonathan through the door.
-"he's alive, but he's not well. he was dead for 4 entire minutes. he can't breathe on his own because his lungs stopped producing oxygen after 4 minutes. it's a heaven sent miracle he's still alive." she explained.
Joyce -"is he gonna wake up?"
"eventually, he will. but we're not sure when that is. he won't be able to interact until he can breathe on his own."
Jonathan -"how long until he can breathe on his own?"
-"likely a week, longest would take up to 2 weeks."
i walked back to Will and sat next to dustin in the chairs. Will was connected to multiple cords and his mouth was covered with a breathing machine.
i felt tears flooding my face, but i quickly wiped them before anyone noticed.
Dustin -"guys.. have you read the note Will left that one day?" he said, looking at a piece of paper.
i completely forgot about those..
i need to read mine.
...
we all went home that night except lucas, who was staying with max. as soon as i got home, my mom flooded my mind with questions that i didn't have the energy to answer. i locked myself in my room and ran to my desk to where i left the note.
i frantically opened the envelope and pulled out the note.
i sat back on my bed and began to read.
Dear mike,
Mike, i'm not sure how to start this letter. maybe with I hope you know how much I loved you. You deserve the world, Mike. If you're reading this, i'm probably gone. i just hope you know you were everything i ever wanted. ever since we were kids, i've been in love with you. you were there for me through everything. i think about the first day we met very frequently, it was simply the best day of my life. i remember the first time my dad hit me, my mom didn't want me staying home that night. you and your mom took me in and you took care of me the entire time. you've always supported everything i did. when i used to draw, you were the only one that kept my drawings and didn't lose them. D&D nights were my favorite memories as a kid. I guess growing up really took a toll on me, because thats when you, Lucas and Dustin started to worry more about girls than the nerdy game we played. i wasn't ready to move on from D&D or you. Growing up also made me realize i had feelings for you. And seeing you and eleven together made me so extremely jealous. she had everything i've ever wanted. she's so perfect and i constantly compared
myself to her, which isn't fair. but every night when i lied in bed, i always felt shame. not for loving you, but ever thinking you could love me over El. that night at murray's when we kissed, it shifted my chain of thought. i started to believe in a reality where we could work out. but i couldn't tell if you regretted it or not, but i couldn't ask. i couldn't ask in fear of rejection. if i had asked and you rejected me, that would've meant i ruined our friendship for nothing. But now that i'm gone, i'm not afraid of rejection. Mike, you were everything to me. you lit my life up. getting in fights with you always felt like the end of the world. after everything going on with my life, i loved you with all of my bruised heart. i could trust you with my entire life. I really wish we could've been together. I would've rather been with you and be abused by the public then stayed in the dark and suffered in silence. You gave my life purpose. you gave me the courage to go through life every day. even in california when we had no contact for a year, the memories i cherished so closely kept me comforted. Now that i'm gone, please don't feel guilty that you didn't know about my feelings. remember the memories we had and cherish them. remember i'm in a happier place and i'm watching over you. we will meet again, mike. until then.. i love you.
Love, Will.
i didn't even know i was crying until tears dropped onto the note i held. i crumbled onto the floor, sobbing and holding the note to my chest. Nancy must've heard because she stormed in and held me in her arms.
this was truly an eye opener.
if Will had died, this note would've been even more heartbreaking.
i thank God he's still here with me.
i thank God it's not too late.
