the next morning
I woke up in the bed I had crashed on the night prior, slowly remembering the events that took place with my best friend.
I made out with my best friend.
i felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt take over my body, and honestly a little disgusted with myself. i didn't feel regret, just guilt.
Will wasn't in bed with me anymore either, the other side of the bed was empty. I wasn't sure i wanted to find him.. because we both know what we did. will it be awkward? does Will actually have feelings for me?
do i feel things for Will?
my feelings are so mixed with everything.. last night felt so right in the moment but now..
everything feels so wrong.
i eventually gather the energy and courage to get up and find my way out the guest bedroom and to where Murray and Will were.
Murray was in the kitchen and will was sitting at the table drinking coffee. i saw his facial expression shift when he saw me. he looked a little pale, and i knew exactly why.
Murray - "here you go, boys. you'll need some fuel for the road." he said, placing two plates down. one with Will and one in the chair across from Will.
I sat down in the empty seat and we all sat in silence, eating the breakfast Murray had prepared us. i felt embarrassed sitting there. i almost felt like Murray knew what we did last night. we didn't do anything.. loud per se. it was just kissing. unless he was outside the door listening in. maybe i'm just paranoid, he would say something if he knew.
...
Mike and I were in the basement, gathering our bags. things felt extremely weird. weirder than before. maybe we shouldn't have done that last night.. does he regret it? He's not gay.. but if so, why did he kiss me back last night? it doesn't make any sense. i don't know if i wanna talk about it. i can't handle that kind of rejection. i pray he never brings it up and we can just move past it.
mike walks into the guest bedroom as i was zipping up my bag.
Mike - "hey, i'm gonna call dustin before we head out. do you wanna wait out in the car?"
"sure" I replied awkwardly, trying to not make eye contact.
i rushed out of the room and walked upstairs to Murray and waited for him to finish the shot he was drinking.
"Thanks for letting us crash last night. And also fixing my car for me."
Murray - "for sure, Byers. would you like some before you leave?" he offered me a drink of vodka, pushing the bottle out in front of me.
"I'm alright"
Murray - "suit yourself, i look forward to never seeing your face anytime soon." he smiled, rushing me out the door and slamming it behind me.
i felt stunned by his comment, but rolled my eyes and walked to my car shivering in the cold. i rushed inside and started it and waited as the heat warmed up the car.
as i waited for mike inside, i heard this faint chime coming from outside the car. when i payed more attention, i made out the sound to be the same clock chimes as before.
not again.
i looked in my rearview mirror and saw the mirror behind my car in the woods.
i opened the car door and saw it more clearly.
it chimed a second time.
i started walking towards it, growing more and more fearful. suddenly the air felt colder than ever. the sky turned dark and blue. i haven't felt this feeling since being in the upside down.
i stepped closer and closer as the sounds grew louder and louder.
it chimed a third time.
as i approached the clock, standing only a few feet away, i felt goosebumps on the back of my neck again. I thought it was over.
i looked up in the glass of the clock. there was a faint figure standing behind me. mike?
it wasn't until i stared into it longer that i realized that wasn't mike.
— inside —
I hung up the phone after being yelled at by dustin for being gone so long. i grabbed my bag and headed upstairs to Murray.
Murray - "There you are. ready to head out, wheeler?"
"yeah, i'm leaving." i said, approaching the door.
i couldn't get what Murray said to us last night out of my head. i just had to ask.
"hey, why did you say all that about Will and I last night?"
Murray - "what, the truth? it's my thing to open peoples eyes to things they're too clueless to see."
"okay, but why did you seem so.. gleeful about it. Being gay is.."
Murray - "being gay is what? shameful??" he chuckled. "this generation we're living in is so judgmental and immature. Love who you love and fuck what people think about it. simple as that." he stated.
was he right? is being gay really that shameful?
i nodded, exiting the house and making my way to the car only to see Will isn't there. the cars on and started, but he's not there.
"Will?" i yelled out, looking around for him.
i kept calling out for him but there was no sign of him anywhere.
i saw faint footprints in the mud leading out to the woods.
when i followed them, they shortly led me to will. he was standing in front of a tree, as still as a statue.
"Will! what are you doing, man? we gotta go.."
i tapped on his shoulder and he jumped out from his previous position and shoved my arm away.
when he looked at me, he looked frightened. he looked at me like i was dangerous.
Will - "shit, sorry." he mumbled.
"Are you alright, what happened?"
Will - "nothing, let's just go." he pushed past me, walking the way back to the car.
i didn't want to make things worse, so i just left it alone and followed him back.
we left Murray's and made our way back home to hawkins.
sitting in silence the entire time.
but the whole time, we were both thinking of the same thing.
