love letters | shourtney

xvi.

I turn away from him, trying to think of where I left my things. The counter. From across the room, I spot Olivia looking at me. She waves her phone, telling me to just text her later. I nod and move away to the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, I take a few deep breaths. I know I should probably say goodbye to everyone, but I just can't.

Grabbing my bag and Shayne's jacket from the stool, I catch his eyeline as he whispers something to Damien who nods, looking my way. I wave timidly, darting my eyeline away. Just about jogging to the front door, I pull it open and stand outside in the hallway. Deep breaths, Court. Deep breaths. I'm pulled from my inner turmoil as he closes the door behind me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, shutting my eyes. Mostly to try and block out the embarrassment I'm feeling, but also because the stupid pattern of the carpet is enhancing my dizziness.

"Apologise to me one more time tonight and consider your driving privileges revoked." I break open my eyes to see him just smiling at me. "Come on, let's get you home." He runs his hand down my arm, eventually grasping mine in his. I let him pull me towards the elevator.

By the time we get back into my car, my whole body feels like it's collapsing. The drive back seems to take ten thousand years, but I find that it's just because he stopped at a drive through. I eat what he hands me, not really registering any flavours or textures and before I know it, we're back at my apartment complex.

I drop my bag and throw off my boots the second I shut my door, leaving a trail of items leading to my bedroom. Standing in the doorway to my room, he laughs softly at my attempts to untie my hair before stepping forwards and helping.

"Stay." I say before I can stop myself. Letting the alcohol in my system and the burn of desire in my heart take full control, I sit back and just watch the reality before me play out.

"You sure?" He queries as I turn around to take my hair-tie from him. At first, I don't respond, just looking into his eyes.

"I'm drunk, exhausted and an emotional wreck. I don't want to wake up alone in the morning." I listen to the words falling out of my mouth, surprised that I sound so confident. "There's merch that'll fit you in that basket back there if you want something more comfortable to sleep in." I don't even specify that I want him to sleep with me in my bed, but I think he gets the message.

I don't even feel like changing out of my jeans and his shirt before falling asleep, but I know I can't. I watch myself pull off my jeans before taking off his shirt and chucking it at him. Even drunk me pauses and realises I'm now just in only my underwear. In front of him. While we're alone in my room.

I mean, he's seen me in a bikini before, but this feels very, very different.

"Sorry." I grab an oversized hoodie from my drawers and pull it on quickly. My mind skips back to what he said before we left Olivia's. "Did I just lose driving privileges?" I pull my makeup wipes from my overnight bag and sit down at my vanity.

"I'll give you a pass this time." I avoided looking at him until now, but I watch him in the mirror of my vanity as he steps towards the basket. A Brianna Boho tank and a pair of sweats in hand, he places them on my bed. I move my focus to getting my makeup off until I see him start to take off his shirt out of the corner of my eye.

I pause, watching the muscles in his back flex as he pulls it over his head. I never really understood what it meant to see differences in someone appearance after catching feelings for them. Now I do. Shayne's always looked like that, he's always been, well, you know... attractive. But now? Hot damn, that boy is fine as fuck.