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I came home Sunday evening after having my braids and nails done. To say my aunt was pissed off was the understatement of the year. "Really Thandi? Do you know what time it is?" She was sitting in the living room of MaRadebe's house. I don't know why she was acting up. I kept Senzo up to date with my whereabouts. I thought he would tell them.

"Ma you said I won't be able to leave the hut for the whole week and that I should get my hair braided." She did say so. "And you chose today Thandi? Really? Why are you being so difficult? You know what? Don't even answer that. Go get your things." I felt like a kid again. She hasn't spoken to me in that tone in so long.

I went to my room and Senzo followed me. "You look beautiful." He said kissing me. "Thank you. I'm going to miss you." I really was. Nobody else let's me just be the way he does. I always had to put on some persona but when I'm with him I can feel anything I need to feel without being judged or expected to be okay. I needed to not be okay sometimes.

"Mamakhe, I promise all of this will be worth it in the end. Now I need you to promise me one thing." I nodded. "Of course. What is it?" He kissed me. "Have fun. This is a celebration. Have the time of your life. You deserve this. You've worked hard for this. Also, you're way too beautiful to be frowning like this all the time." I rolled my eyes at him but I couldn't help the smile on my face. Senzo walked me to the gate of my house and we said our goodbyes with family members staring at us.

I went straight to my room and sat on my phone watching videos. "Thandi." My aunt said from the doorway. "Dinner is ready." I knew I couldn't escape them so I went to have dinner with all of them.

At twelve that night we went to the hut. It was me and ten other girls. Not all were my cousins but they would all stay with me this week.

The week went by so fast and like I promised Senzo I had fun. We had to learn our traditional dances and singing for the ceremony. I was so scared because I would have to wear traditional attire. And I woul be topless. Being topless was not the issue. I was scared because everyone would see my scars. The girls have already seen them and they didn't say anything but I don't want the whole world seeing them. I had a couple of fittings for my formal outfit for my celebration and I loved the dress. It was pretty plain but all my traditional accessories made the outfit.

At some point during the week my measurements were taken. Apparently it was for MaKhumalo in preparation for one of the other ceremonies. There were so many ceremonies to get through just so I could call myself Mrs Dlamini.

I stayed isolated in the hut and the night before the ceremony I was let out. The whole neighborhood was outside and I got a chance to view the my cow. To my surprise it was an actual cow. If this was done under normal circumstances I would be somewhere in the village but I was kind of glad that I wasn't.

A mini bus taxi came for us and we walked covered only in a blanket. We sang all the way to the river where we would be spending a night.

We spent the night at the river and the next morning got dressed in colour traditional clothes. I wore a traditional pleated skirt and adorned myself in beads. In my hand I carried a beaded Zulu knob-kerri and a shield in the other. My braids were up in a bun and I wore beaded headbands.

Driving into my neighborhood I could already smell the food. I saw a huge white tent on the open field but we drove past and the minibus stopped at the end of the street. Neighbors were already outside and I was excited. There was a photographer and videographer waiting for us. We got out of the car and danced and sang all the way to the house. Neighbors were singing and ulilating and I was having the time of my life being the centre of attention.

When we got home I was led to a hut where my eldest brother was waiting. A cow and had been slaughtered in celebration of me and to thank the ancestors for keeping me safe as well as for other deeper traditional rituals.

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