Maid For Marriage

94

The room next door to mine was set up with all kinds of medical equipment. I ignored everything and everyone around me for weeks. It got so bad that Senzo called in Doctor Reynolds, his psychologist. I joined them in the living room, and she started talking, but I just blocked it out.

"Mamakhe! See! This is what I'm talking about! MaBhengu!"
"What?!" Since he wanted my attention so bad, he could have it. "Mr Dlamini, please."
"No! I've had enough! It's been three weeks of this! I'm tired! I want my wife back! You know what? Maybe you should go back to the psychiatric hospital."
"Mr Dlamini, you need to calm down."
"Why?! Why?! Why should I! My wife is finally getting what she wanted! What we both wanted! But all she's doing is wishing for my child to die!"
"I'm not wishing for your child to die..."
"Oh, really?! You say it every chance you get. What were your words the other day when we went to the hospital?! 'What's the point it's just going to die?' Yes, that's what you said! Oh! I know what you want! You want to kill my child, don't you?! That's what you want, isn't it."

"Senzo! What the fuck is wrong with you!" MaKhumalo walked in with my daily smoothie. I was numb, Senzo's shouting didn't even affect me. I felt like a bag of bones. Nothing he said could hurt me. I was finished. "Mr Dlamini please. Calm down."
"Calm down! You're telling me to calm down!"
"Yes! Yes I am. You're the only one out of line here."
"Out of line? A mother wishing for her child to die is out of line!"
"Nobody in this room is wishing for this child to die."
"Did you not hear what I said she's..."
"I heard you but you're not hearing me. Your wife is not wishing for this child to die."
"And how would you know."
"You asked me to speak to the nurses and find out if Mrs Dlamini was a danger to herself and the baby."
"Senzo you did what?!" MaKhumalo yelled in disbelief. "This does not involve you." He said to MaKhumalo. "Mr Dlamini..."
"No! I don't believe a word you're saying! How is she not a danger to my child?"
"Mr Dlamini I know this situation you are in is very stressful and painful because of past trauma but you need to realize that everyone deals with things differently. Your wife is not a danger to herself or her child. She's following strict doctors orders to the letter. She eats even when her body refuses food, she's at every single doctors appointment and she's willingly working with the medical staff here at home."
"Then why won't she look at the scans? Why won't she listen to the heartbeat?" He was on the verge of tears. "This is her chance. Why?"
Doctor Reynolds looked at me. "Please, baby." He had tears running from his eyes. I felt a tinge of guilt but just as I was about to say something I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. It didn't stop until midnight. 

The next day, my midwife and nurse got my blood sugar up to normal levels, but senzo was still standing over me terrified. He bit his nails until they bled. "Baba, stop. Stop." I took his hand away from his mouth and it was the first time he noticed the blood. The nurse helped him out and then he insisted on hearing the baby's heartbeat.

"Everything is normal Mr Dlamini. MaBhengu has lost some weight but she's keeping more food down lately so there's a good chance she'll gain it back." He nodded. "Okay. Okay, thank you. Thank you." They left for the day and I went into the kitchen.

"MaKhumalo."
"MaBhengu. How are you feeling?" I just sighed and took my bowl of sugar coated ice from her. Yes. Sugar coated ice. It was just crushed ice with sugar sprinkled over it. Ice was my only craving and the sugar helped stabilize my bloodsugar levels. "Better than yesterday. How is everyone?" She gave me a look and I just knew something was up. "Everyone is worried about you. The elders want to come here. I can only hold them off for so long. They say they want to perform a ceremony to let the ancestors know you're with child and to ask them to protect you and the baby."
"They know my track record by now. Nothing is going to work. What's the point of trying?" She just sighed. "Just let them do it so they can be at ease. I think it would help put everyone at ease."
"Do you think it would help put Baba at ease?"
"It might." I sighed but agreed.