Maid For Marriage

92

It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. "No. No." If I said no enough times, maybe it wouldn't be true. "Baba, she wouldn't do that. We just got all of these things for the baby. She's knows I agreed to be the mother. We were just about to sign an agreement. She agreed to this. I said I would do it. Did you tell her? I said I would do it. I'll be the mother of her child. She won't have to worry. Did you tell her? Baba, maybe you misunderstood. Call her and ask her what she meant. Call her."

He reached for his phone and pressed play. "Hey, you and your wife don't need to worry about the baby anymore. I just got a really big opportunity in London and I can't be pregnant by the end of the month. Tell your wife I said thank you but I got rid of it. I have to catch my flight so bye." She said in her American accent. "Baba, please. This has to be a joke. Is she joking?" He showed me the text where she said, "I had an abortion. It was successful. I'm off to London." What was wrong with this woman?! It was successful?! Successful!I couldn't breathe. I could fucking breathe.

MaKhumalo took the phone and read the text. I couldn't be there. I stood up and stumbled towards my bedroom. When I finally got there I laid on the floor and cried silently. How many times is motherhood going to get taken away from me? I should've listened the first two times it happened. I am not meant to be a mother. Not even through a surrogate. The universe keeps telling me and I keep trying. I couldn't take a fucking hint could I?

I laid there for days. I couldn't eat I couldn't sleep. The floor was safe. If I just laid there nothing bad would happen. "I didn't know what else to do Ma. She hasn't been eating. I've at least gotten her to got to the toilet and shower but she won't eat or get up off the floor." I heard MaKhumalo say to someone before my aunt appeared in front of me. "Princess, they've told me everything." I didn't care I was done so I decided to block her out. Her lips were moving but I heard nothing.

Someone gave her a bowl of soup that she tried to feed me. She even went as far as to pinch my nose to force me to open my mouth. I grabbed onto her wrist and shoved her away. "Let go!" I screamed at the top of my lung. "Just let me die! Let me die!" My tears flowed as I went back into my laying position. Eventually they called and ambulance that took me to a hospital.

I was in the damn psych ward. I fought as hard as I could but they restrained and forcefed me through a tube. After the third time I couldn't do it anymore. It was torture. So I gave up and started eating. I was eventually moved to a mental hospital. I was really here making fucking macaroni art with crazy people. At least the facility was beautiful. I spent most of my days outside by the waterfall.

I had to attend group and one on one therapy. It was torture too. Sometimes I could take the forcefeeding over this.

"Tell me about your childhood Thandi." I was so annoyed by her. I already gave her my whole entire life story. "I already told you how I grew up." I said annoyed. "I meant before your aunt. Do you remember anything?" I shook my head. "Do you have any memories from when your aunt took you away?" I shook my head again. "No, but she's told me about it many times."
"And what did she say?"
"She came to visit me. She found me alone in my mother's house. My birthday cake was still on the counter. She found that weird because my birthday had been two days prior. I was dirty and smelly when she found me. She suspected something was wrong because they told her my mother ran away. My mother wouldn't just leave me knowing nobody would look after me. She was convinced something happened to my mother when my father came in, and I screamed and hid under the bed.
She convinced him that she was shocked my mother just ran away like that. She even called her irresponsible. She had to convince him because she saw the knife in his hand. Even though he tried to hide it from her. She packed my bag that night and we ran."

"If your aunt ran from him how did he end up back on your life?" This lady loved questions. I guess it was part of her job but I was getting tired of it. "Somehow he found us. He did want to kill us but my aunt convinced him his wives threatened to kill me and that she was running from them and not him. He bought it and let me stay with her under a few conditions."
"And those conditions were the virginity tests and the wife training?" I nodded.