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She sat there in shock, and that's when the guilt crept in. "I didn't remember. It happened when I was five. I started having flashbacks when he beat me with his whip, but I couldn't say anything. When I was in a coma. I remembered everything. Everything. I'm sorry, Gogo. I was five. I didn't know he killed her. She was just gone after that. Nobody told me anything. Everyone just assumed she was dead. So did I when I grew up."

She wiped her tears. "I know, baby. I know. Don't blame yourself for this." She wiped my tears, too. "What happened?" It was my aunt. "Thandi was just about to tell me how your brother murdered my daughter." The groceries in my aunt's hand fell. "Did you know?" Gogo asked her, and she froze. "No, I promise I didn't know. I just assumed, so I took Thandi and ran. Thandi told me after the whipping incident that she had a dream." She spoke so fast that I almost didn't hear her.

"After she told you, couldn't you have said something. I was in your house crying for my daughter, and you said nothing." My aunt's lip shivered. "I didn't know how accurate Thandi's dream was. We all knew he killed her. Nobody could prove it, but we all knew. You can't blame me for this." Gogo took a few breaths. "You're right. I'm sorry. Thandi, please tell me what happened."

Senzo was sitting there in disbelief. His jaw was on the floor. "I remember being in a hut. They were fighting over me. My father said I couldn't be his child because I was a girl. He said something about a white man being my father."

"Wait. A white man?.. Jason?.." I nodded. "There's no way. Jason is gay and very old. He's almost my age. Back in the day, he was hiding on our farm. We put the farm in his name so we wouldn't have issues with the apartheid government. When apartheid was over, he signed it back to us without hesitation. He was her art teacher."

"I remember that fight. Right before he told us she went missing, they did a DNA test. You were his child. There was no doubt about it." My aunt said and took a seat. "He wouldn't believe her, and he beat her. She was screaming but nobody came to help. She eventually stopped screaming. That's when she must've died. I saw her Gogo. She's all alone and she told me to tell you to bring her home." Gogo was in tears for most of that day. That wasn't my intention. I needed to give her the message.

The next couple of weeks, I focused on getting better, and I was. I could do a lot more. Even though I couldn't go back to school just yet,  I started practicing. I tried not to get frustrated with myself because my doctors were really impressed with my recovery,  but by the rate I was going, I would not be able to join school this year or semester. I needed my speed and my accuracy, and I had none of that.

I tried staying positive, though. I had to remind myself that just a couple of months ago, I almost died, and now I was walking around my apartment, cooking, doing light chores, and even exercising a little bit. I couldn't even talk when I first woke up. I had to constantly remind myself of the progress I've made.

I couldn't lift my arms really high, so I couldn't do my hair, but I was lucky enough to have a big support system of women who constantly helped me. MaKhumalo was with me that morning doing my hair.

"I thought we would lose you. It felt like a repeat of Senzo's first wife. As a family, we failed her, and she was taken away from us. It felt like the same thing was happening to you. Every day, they would do these test to see if you could breathe without the ventilator. And every day, there was no change. So one day, MaCele and I went to her sisters grave, and we promised to protect not only you but all the wives of the Dlamini family if you woke up and recovered. I know a lot of people were praying to God or the ancestors or whatever they believed, but I would like to keep the promise I made to my sister." She finished tying my head wrap, and we just sat in silence while I held her hand.

She helped me to the living room, and I joined everyone for lunch. There was a knock on the door, and my aunt was the first up to go get it. "I didn't know you were coming. Hi. Come in." My eldest brother followed by three of my other brothers walked in. "Chief, you came." Gogo said, and I was confused. She invited him. I guess at some point he would come visit me, but Gogo inviting him was weird.

"Dlamini." He said when he saw Senzo. Before I knew it, my brother punched him and he fell to the floor. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I couldn't get up fast enough. "That's for putting your hands on my sister. You're lucky I won't kill you." Senzo got up off the floor, and luckily, he was okay. "Don't look at me like that." My brother said to me. "This man made me a promise not to lay a hand on you, and he broke that promise." Everyone in the room was shocked. Luckily, all the babies were having their nap, and they didn't have to witness that.

"Now, your grandmother called me here to discuss finding your mother's body." Did he expect me to just carry on as normal after that? I got up and went to my room. I didn't have the energy for the drama and theatrics. I really didn't.

I couldn't lay in bed yet. It was too painful, so I sat up against the headboard and surprisingly went to sleep. When I got up, it was dark, so I took a shower. I started smelling food, and I guessed they started dinner. Getting my clothes on was still a struggle, but I could do it by myself. I put on some lounge wear, which I would probably sleep in because I had no energy to be changing so many times in the day. I was looking around for slippers, but I couldn't find any of my pairs. My grandmother must've cleaned and out them somewhere.

Senzo came into the room. "I thought I heard the shower going. You should've called for help." I was still looking. "I was fine. I got it done. Have you seen my slippers?" He went silent. I looked at him, and he looked worried. "You're wearing them, my love." I looked down at my feet. I really was wearing them. I ignored the worried stare from Senzo and went to eat dinner with everyone.

"So Thandi your brother has contacted the police but it's going to be a very long process. Before they can start anything they first have to investigate to see if a crime actually happened. They say they can't go off your memories from when you were five." All of this was just a mess. I thought the family or one of my father's old advisors would just be able to tell us what he did with her body.

"What happens if the police don't find anything?" I knew it was a possibility. My father had most of that area wrapped around his finger. He had people all over working for him. I wouldn't be surprised if the police were part of those people. "Well, at first your brother wanted to start the search himself but I convinced him to go the official route. If the police don't find anything then he can take the situation into his own hands." What was he going to do? Pick up a shovel and start digging?

My grandmother cleared her throat awkwardly and I knew something was coming. "Also, I've been away from home for three months now. They need me back home because there are some land disputes and I have the documentation to resolve it all. I'm not sure what is happening so I want to go back myself and sort it out. I'll be leaving in two days."

What?
She was leaving?
Everyone else came and went but she actually stayed here and made sure I was taken care of when others couldn't. She gave my aunt time off from worrying about me. What will happen now?

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