Maid For Marriage

74

"She's going to be fine, Ma. You'll only make her worse if you come here and stress her out. She'll be alright, and I'll keep you updated." My eyes fluttered open to an extremely bright room. Senzo was on the other side of the room speaking on his phone with his back turned to me. "Ma, I have to go. Please, do not come here."

I looked around the room, trying to find my mom. "You're awake. How are you feeling?" He made his way to me quickly. "Why am I here? Where's my mom?" He took a seat next to me and held my hand. "She's here. I just convinced her to go and get some fresh air and a coffee. Should I call her? I said I would once you woke up." I nodded, and he called.

When she came back into the room, she was out of breath and crying. "You're awake. You scared us. Go get her doctor." Senzo did as she said. "What's wrong with me?" With my bad luck, I probably had a heart attack. "It's your blood pressure. It's too high, but I'm sure they'll explain it better." The doctor came in and said the same thing my aunt said just much more fancier and drawn out. My blood pressure was too high, and they were struggling to get it down. They ran test after test, and I was a little annoyed and just convinced they were trying to keep me here.

"Ma, will you please call the shelter and tell them I won't be able to cook this week but I have all the ingredients. If you maybe could just get it to them, then they can make a plan." I asked before she leaves and she agreed. I was staying the night at the hospital waiting on test results. My blood pressure was coming down slowly, but they were still very concerned.

"Dlamini."
"Mm?"
"Please go home. Your children arrived home yesterday for the first time in months. They need their dad. Please go home." He let out a heavy breath. "I don't want to leave you here alone. You took care of me when I was fake sick. Now that you're actually sick, you expect me just to go home?" He was being stubborn. "I'm okay. I'll be out of here tomorrow. You heard what the doctor said. It may just be a matter of lifestyle changes."

He eventually agreed to go home. When he left, it was like I could feel everything I was keeping inside for my whole entire life. I didn't know what was happening to me. But it felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I started sweating, and the pains in my chest started up again. I was sure I was having a panic attack or something, but could a panic attack be this painful?

When I was stabilized, they could finally tell me what was wrong with me. I was so annoyed. I just wanted to sleep, and these people were here using big words and talking in sentences I wasn't really listening to.

"Mrs Dlamini, what you have is reoccurring takotsubo cardiomyopathy, which is commonly known as broken heart syndrome." Oh lord. Even my deseases sounded dramatic. "It was worsened by your high blood pressure. It emulates the symptoms of a heart attack." He carried on talking and telling me how it's caused by stress, and they wanted to run more test because it's commonly found in people double my age.

My mother and Senzo came and they explained to them. While the doctor spoke to them, something just felt wrong. All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was drowning. "Ma." I got out, and that's when. They doctor noticed. Que another round of tests and scans. Turns out this "broken heart syndrome" caused fluid on my lungs. I laid there with oxygen tubes while they were confirming this. I was wheezing like I smoked a pack a day.

"How did this go from making a few lifestyle changes to her not being able to breathe!?" My ain't shouted. I was having trouble speaking. The doctors were still extremely concerned with my blood pressure, and I was trying to tell them I was having chest pains, but I couldn't. I hit my chest to signal the doctor. Monitors were going off, and Ma and Senzo were escorted out of the room. I heard something about heart failure and immediately started panicking. I could hear my monitors going crazy. I couldn't anymore. I couldn't fight. I was done. I let the darkness overcome me.

"You really expect me to believe this child is mine?!"
"She's yours, Baba! I've never been with anyone else. I swear! She's yours!" Was that my mom? "Mama?" I opened my eyes, and I was back in that hut. My mother was begging my father to believe her. "Baba, there's always a girl. Just look at your sister and your aunt. Every generation has one girl. We can try again, and this time, a boy will be guaranteed! She's yours! Please believe me." My mother begged on her knees. My father was standing over her with a whip in his hand.

"You really expect me to believe you? You've been friends with that white man since before we were married! Look at that child! She's lighter than any of my other children!" She cried. "Baba, please! Look at me! Look at me! I'm light! She's darker than me! She can't be Jason's baby!" He let out a roar. "How dare you say his name in my presence! How dare you!" He started beating her, saying I wasn't his. The more she tried to convince him, the harder he beat her. I couldn't take it anymore. I held my eyes closed tightly so I wouldn't see anything.

The screaming eventually died down. When I opened my eyes again, everything was white. There was no beginning and no end. Just white. What was this place? Was I dead? Was it heaven or hell?

I heard humming and immediately turned around. There sat a lady with her back turned to me. She swayed as she hummed. I knew her voice, but I wasn't sure who it was. "Hello?" I walked towards her, but she just kept on swaying and humming. "Excuse me. Do you know where we are?" She just continued swaying and humming. I knew this woman somehow. I walked in front of her and gasped. I immediately started crying.

"Mama!"
"Thandi."

She was beautiful. I fell to my knees and grabbed her. "Mama!" I could believe it. I was hugging my mother. I looked at her face to make sure it was really her and then hugged her again. "Mama, am I dead?" She just had a soft, comforting smile on her face. "No, princess." Hearing her call me that was music to my ears. "Mama, I miss you." I couldn't stop hugging her. She was here in front of me, and even if it was just my imagination, I still wanted to cherish every moment of it.

"Thandi, we don't have a lot of time."  I let go of her. "Why? I just got here. I thought maybe we could spend some time together." She shook her head. Her eyes glistened with tears. "You need to go back. You don't belong here. Can you see where I am?" I looked around and shook my head because there was literally nothing around us. "I want to go home. When you wake up, you have to tell your grandmother that I say I want to go home. I know your father is dead now. Tell my mother this is her chance. She needs to come fetch me so that I'm not stuck here forever. I want to go home."

I nodded. "And Thandi," she lifted my chin gently so I could look her in the eyes. "I love you, my baby. You are and will forever be my everything. You need to stop running. You love so deeply and freely, but you don't allow others to love you too. You walk into someone's life, and you change it for the better. Let them do the same for you. When you wake up, you'll see everyone who cares for you. They are scared. They'll be scared for a while, but don't run. It doesn't help anyone when you run. Let them love you."

As she was saying this, everything around us started disappearing until she was gone too. I was left in complete nothingness with no way out. I was terrified. How long have I been here, and how long will I stay? Will I ever see the people that I love again, or will they forget me and leave me here?