Maid For Marriage

91

We sat in silence for a while. "Please. If I don't have confirmation that one of you will be the mother of my child, she's going to have an abortion. MaBhengu? Please, Mamakhe." I was glad I wasn't sitting near him. I just shook my head. "Mbali?" MaKhumalo put her hand up to silence him. "I've done everything you've asked me. Taking care of your mistress' child is where I draw the line." He just looked at MaCele, and she shook her head.

"I won't do it either. I'm expecting." MaMlambo said before she was even asked. "And I'm expecting twins. There's no way I can deal with three babies at once." Baba started crying. "MaBhengu, please. She's going to kill my child. If she feels the baby is unwelcome, she's going to murder her. Please, MaBhengu." He begged. "Thandi, you have no children and a huge house. Why not?" MaGumede asked, and MaCele and MaMlambo agreed. "MaBhengu, please. She has promised to sign over all her parental rights. She wants nothing to do with the child and her, and I have decided we'll never see each other again after this. We can get this all in writing and come up with some legal agreement. I'm begging you. I can't lose another child knowing it was preventable."

"Okay, but I want everything in writing." I said softly. He nodded and walked up to me. "Please don't touch me." I said when he reached out to me. "Are we done? Can I leave?" Nobody said anything,  so I got up and drove home. It wasn't long until he joined me. "Baby,  please. Just talk to me."
"What's her name?" He took a seat on the bed. "Stacey Jackson. She's American. She's been in South Africa for a couple of months now. You can meet her if you want to." I shook my head. "I don't want to meet her. I want nothing to do with her. Set up a contract. I'll sign. I'll get all my updates from you. I want nothing to do with her." 

Dinner that night was completely silent. I was hurt and I didn't want to be. I had no reason to be. I took a long shower and got into bed. "Baby, can we talk, please?" I was already crying. I made myself so mad sometimes. "I don't want to talk. I know what you're going to say. 'Im a polygamous man. You've known this since we met. There were girlfriends before you there'll be girlfriends after you.' I know. I've heard it all before. I've agreed to be the child's mother now can I please have some space?" He had nothing to say. Of course he didn't. I said it all for him.

Both of us laid awake for most of the night. When he started snoring, I took out my phone and started searching up her name. She was a famous African American model and when I saw her pictures the thoughts just started rushing through my brain.

She was an African American woman and she was beautiful. She had dark skin and green eyes, and she was skinny. That's the first thing I noticed. The bitch was skinny. She was literally everything that I was not. She had her own business, she was skinny, she was confident, she was selfmade. She was perfect. The opposite of me. She just seemed to have her shit together while my trauma kept piling up.

I couldn't sleep that night at all. My eyes only started drifting off when the sun came up. "Baby, wake up." Senzo kissed me on my cheek. The nerve of this man. "Wake up. I'm leaving for the village this afternoon and I don't want us to be on bad terms. Baby, please." I sat up in bed. "I want us to survive this. You and I both do this thing where we completely shut down and push everyone away. I don't want that to happen ever again."

I wanted to be fine. I wanted to be okay. I knew what I was getting myself into marrying Senzo but my heart was shattered. I wanted to be angry, but I couldn't be because I was once the girlfriend. This is exactly what we did to MaKhumalo. We snuck around behind her back. I felt guilty that I was losing my mind over something I did to another woman. I want to be fine, I wanted to be okay and act like this didn't affect me. I really did but I couldn't. "Is it because she's prettier than me?" What the fuck was I saying. "What are you talking about? You're beautiful. Nobody compares to you. Nobody. Not even her." I tried wiping my tears but they kept falling. "Is she better in bed? You have five wives I don't understand why you would need anyone else. Am I not satisfying you? What did I do for you to run to her? Is it because I can't have children? I don't understand. What did I do wrong?" I was crying like a fucking baby and I was disgusted with myself.