Maid For Marriage

99

"Mamakhe, you have to eat something." Senzo had been trying for hours. I didn't want to cause him any more stress, so I took the sandwich with shaky hands. "I'm sorry, Baba. I should've listened to you. We never should've let her see him. I'm sorry. It's all my fault." I couldn't take it anymore. I cried as he held me. "None of this is your fault, okay? Do you hear me? None of this is your fault." He's been trying to convince me of that for two days now, but I couldn't accept it.

The family joined us at the hospital, and my mother made me eat half of the sandwich. I had to force it down my throat.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I looked up and saw MaRadebe approaching us. "Thandi. Thandi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"You didn't mean to what?" I stood up from my seat. "Thandi, please. Hear me out."
"You want me to hear you out."
"Please."
"You can stand here and beg all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that my son is fighting for his life because of you! Because of your stupidity and selfishness!"
"Thandi, please! I didn't mean to."
"Did you know you were sick?"
"Thandi."
"DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE SICK!"
"Yes, but it was only a cold."
"For you! It was only a cold for you, but it's deadly to an infant. We told you that! We told everyone that! If my son doesn't make it, I want you to know that his blood is on your hands! You killed him! Leave! I never want to see you again! Leave!"
"Thandi, please."
"Get out of here, you evil woman!" Senzo was holding me back, and if he didn't, I would've been in jail. 

She left, but I was still hysterical. It was so bad that nurses had to sedate me. I couldn't live without my son. I couldn't.

I was discharged from the hospital the next day. I felt better but I was so scared. The doctors convinced me to eat so I could produce milk for when he was off the ventilator.  We never left his side. We stayed at the hospital for days until he finally came off the ventilator. I was so relieved. He stayed for a few more days, and we could finally take him home.

I was paranoid. I didn't sleep at all. I couldn't do it. What if he got sick and I was sleeping. I needed to be there, and I needed to be awake.

"Thandi, you can't keep doing this. You need to rest." Ma tried convincing me. I knew I needed to sleep, but I just couldn't. "Thandi." She tried getting my attention. "I'm scared. What if he chokes on his phlegm or stops breathing?" She wiped my tears. "That's why we're here. We're here to help so you can rest. Your son deserves a healthy, well-rested mom. You need to take care of yourself to take care of him. There's no other way. He's sleeping now, right?" I looked down at my baby in my arms and nodded. "Okay, how about you take a nap while he sleeps. I'll watch over him while you rest." I agreed. At first, I was struggling to sleep, but when I eventually drifted off, I slept through a feeding and a nappy change. They had to wake me when they needed more milk.

I fed him and took a quick shower before dinner. "I'm glad you got some rest, Mamakhe." I just smiled.
"Baba." I said
"Yes."
"I don't want your mother in our lives. I don't want her near my child, and I don't want her to be part of his ceremony."
"I'm glad you said that. We're on the same page. I don't want her near any of my children or my wives ever again. Enough about her. Where's my kiss."
"Baba." I said, blushing immediately. "What? You owe me. I did not get to join you in the shower. You owe me." I rolled my eyes but kissed him anyway. "I see more grandsons to come." We heard Gogo's voice and broke our kiss. "What are you doing in here. We're in our room." He said playfully. "The door is open. Don't make me slap you again. You're not too old to get a beating."
"I was joking, Gogo." She just glared at him.
"Come, dinner is ready.

I decided to make a concerted effort to be healthy for my boy. I started eating healthier, I took full advantage of Ma and Gogo being here, and I started exercising. I got a personal trainer and everything. Ma and Gogo acted like I was going to die every single time I worked out.