Maid For Marriage

51

The smell of chemicals and constant beeping woke me. "She's up." I know that voice. I looked up at my doctor. She was smiling at me. "Welcome back Mrs Dlamini." She said gently. I felt something in my hand. I looked down to see a hand holding mine. It was Senzo's hand. I looked at his face and he was crying. My aunt, MaRadebe, and MaKhumalo were also there. They were crying too.

Looking at their faces my brain clicked. "No." I held onto my belly. "No, she was still moving." My tears fell instantly. I grabbed my doctor's arm. "After the crash she was still moving. She was fine! I know she was!" My doctor's expression went blank. "Mrs Dlamini I'm sorry but you baby didn't..." I refused to let her finish the sentence.

"No! No! She was fine! She was moving!" I started becoming hysterical. "Mrs Dlamini your baby didn't survive the ordeal." I didn't want to hear it. "No! She was fine! Please! I know she was fine! She was moving!" My aunt came to my side and held me. I screamed begging and pleading. This couldn't be true. She was kicking and moving making sure to tell me she was fine.

My aunt held me tightly and I felt something prick my arm before the numbness took over. She laid me down and I went to sleep.

I woke up again and was alone in the room with Senzo. "Hi." I started crying silently in his arms. "I'm sorry." He held me tighter. "It's all my fault." We cried together. "No, don't say that. None of this is your fault." He said trying to comfort me. "If I didn't leave my phone in the car I could've made it to the hospital." I was avoiding that thought the whole time and I finally said it.

All of this was my fault. If I wasn't so stupid to leave my phone and purse in the car I could've gotten to the hospital and avoided all of this. She was alive after the crash. I just knew it.

It was procedure for my doctor to do a scan. She was there but there was no heartbeat. I didn't know how I would survive this. I completely broke down when I was told I needed to give birth. I needed to go through the whole process if birth just for nothing.

"We can wait a day to induce labor just so you get time to rest and recover from the accident." My doctor said and I shook my head. "Let's just do it." I requested a shower first and then they induced labor. Everything felt like it took forever to complete. My aunt and MaRadebe tried talking me into letting them stay in the room but I refused.

Hours and hours of blood sweat and tears were out into giving birth to my baby but when she came out she was already gone. I was crushed all over again. I didn't even know I still had a glimmer of hope left that she would come out kicking and crying. She was so tiny and she was so beautiful. I held her in my arms as long as I could. She was perfect.

The hospital out together a memory box with photos if her, her footprints and hand prints, and the blanket they wrapped her in. I was sent home after I gave birth. I thought the ordeal was over but I had to tell all of it to the police. Senzo was set on suing everyone involved.

We were told the truckdriver died of a heart attack behind the wheel before he crashed into us. The EMT's that were on the scene were all fired and the matron of the clinic was arrested. Family came and went and I didn't care. Everyone felt they needed to say something and I was tired of it. I needed to leave.

The hospital kept her tiny body. I couldn't even bury my baby. I begged and pleaded the day they took her away. She was going to be turned into medical waste. The thought of my baby becoming medical waste haunted me every second of the day. I couldn't even move.

Senzo and I were laying in bed holding hands. We haven't spoken much about what happened. "I'm tired." I said and he put his side lamp off. "Not in that way. I need a break. I need to go away for a little bit." He hummed in response. "Where should we go?" I felt his thumb rub the back of my hand. "I want to go away alone." His light went back on.