Maid For Marriage

63

I walked to my car, got in and just drove around all night. At some point I had to turn my phone off because they kept calling me. Even my aunt started calling me. Before I turned it off I told her that I was okay and I would explain later.

That night I slept in my car by the ocean.

I went back home the next morning and surprisingly the wives weren't there. I was still in a lot of pain and I felt like I needed a shower. Senzo was waiting on the couch with MaRadebe. I couldn't even be happy to see her. "Good morning Makoti." She said getting up and hugging me. "Morning Ma." I hugged her back but I really didn't feel like it. I just couldn't handle anyone in my personal space.

Without even acknowledging Senzo's presence I went to take a shower. He was waiting in our room for me. "Can we talk please. There is a reason I did what I did." I sighed heavily. "I'm not ready to talk to you. I don't even want to see you right now. So I'll give you two choices. Sleep in another room or go to MaKhumalo's house." I said calmly. He did not even fight me. He just left.

The little bit of peace I got from him being out of my site was short lived. I forced myself out of bed early because Ma was home. I was taking my medication in the kitchen when I heard his voice. "Are you okay? What are those for?" I thought he left. What was he doing here so early?

"I'm fine. It's my usual vitamins and some pain medication for my headache." I lied. "Okay. Can we talk?" Luckily for me Ma walked in. "Good morning you two." I don't know why she was so cheerful because she knows what her son did and she knows what I went through because she went through something similar with her husband's illness. This was not the time for her to take her son's side.

"Good morning ma. I'll start breakfast now." Both of them took a seat. The silence was awkward while I made the bacon and eggs. I tried to act natural but they must have noticed that I could barely move. "Makoti do you need help?" I shook my head. "No ma. I'm done." I walked over to them with their plates and it was clear that something was wrong. I however wanted nothing to do with my husband and if I told him he would  want to be in my space the whole time.

"Where's the bowl of water to wash my hands?" Senzo asked as I was about to walk away. "Senzo, can you not just get up and go wash your hands?" I walked back slowly, filled a bowl with water, and got a dry cloth. He was looking at me up and down. "A headache." He mumbled sarcastically. "You usually go on your knees." He was testing me. He knew something was wrong and he was on a mission to torture it out of me.

"Senzo come on. You can see she's not feeling well." Ma tried reasoning with him but I myself was stubborn. I bent down and got on my knees. The pain made the tears spill from my eyes. He washed and dried his hands anyway. When I tried to get up what felt like a huge wave of pain hit me and the bowl of water fell from hands and spilled everywhere. I held onto my abdomen for dear life. 

"What have you done to her?!" I heard MaKhumalo's voice.  Senzo helped me up and I didn't create a scene. He helped me to our bedroom and got me dry clothes. "Are you sick?" I just nodded. "Did I make you sick?" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what caused the miscarriage but the thought that it was caused by his 'illness' lingered at the back of my mind. I just shrugged at his question.

"What do you need?" I could see the guilt on his face but I was not ready to have a proper conversation with him. "Sleep." My voice came out in a whisper. I was so tired but the more I tried to sleep the harder it got. He helped me get dressed and he put me to bed.

By now you'd think I would be used to physical pain but the pain I was in was excruciating. I heard the wives having a meeting but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I also didn't care but the noise was irritating me.