poetry by jungenwunder

this isn't actually about a toxic friendship

tw: toxic friendship

written on: august 12, 2022

*

Her name was Kara

I met her my freshman year of high school

She was everything that I wasn't

Pretty and popular

With a smile that could charm anyone but

Eyes that saw all

Ears that heard all

She was omnipotent and all-powerful to me and

I was enamored because

She was perfect

And yet she was my friend, she was

Mine

I didn't like sharing her with her other friends so

She cut them off and

Only talked to me and

We both drifted away from everyone but

Each other

It was just me and

Her

I did everything she asked

I lied and I cheated and I became someone else but

That was okay because

She still liked me and I still

Loved her

When I graduated high school

She was right beside me with her arm around my middle so that she could

Feel my ribs and I was so happy that

I couldn't breathe

We both left for college in different states and

She found someone else to like and I

Cried myself to sleep because it was always

Me and her

And looking back I understand that I am finally whole without

Her

But at night I still get on my knees and beg to whomever is out there to

Make me feel like when it was

Me and her

I beg to feel

Empty again