Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Forty Eight

Debbie drunk her merlot empty as her private jet roared through the moonlit sky. She did not care what time it was, how exhausted and how broken she was - all she knew was that she needed to go see him. The interior of the jet was dark, the space empty as she sat in one of the seats and she realized that if Lou would not come back, that visual would be her life. Too empty and dark. She closed her eyes as she took a sigh, leaning the back of her head on the seat as she tried her best not cry. Hold it, Debbie. Hold it. She had been trying to call Lou, but the number could not be reached anymore. That night, as Lou walked out on her, Debbie decided to go follow Keanu in hopes of fixing what was needed to be fixed.

"Ma'am? We are landing in about ten minutes. Should we fix a car for you to send you to the hotel?"

The brunette looked at the steward silently before she gave her a simple nod, "Yes, thank you."

She looked out the window overlooking the entire California. The state screamed its existence with its flattering skyscrapers, with some that looked like it would kiss the skies. The state lights looked almost like fireflies as they flew above, and it reminded Debbie of those beautiful fireflies they danced with back in Thailand. On her seat, she wished that in the hours to come, she would be able to fix the problem, come back to Lou safe and sound.

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Debbie opened the hotel room angrily. The door banged behind her loudly as she stepped into the space and there Keanu was. Clad in his business suit with his back turned against Debbie. He knew that Debbie was coming and she knew that he anticipated that too. The brunette could see that he was holding a glass of Khortytsia as he put his focus onto the screaming state of California.

"I knew you would come." Keanu mumbled coldly as he continued to look out at the tall buildings and skyscrapers adorning the state, never turning back to look at Debbie.

"I want a divorce."

Debbie held her breath as she remained standing just a few inches from the door. She watched as her husband slowly shook his head, watched him as he drank his glass empty before he slowly turned around to finally look at her. The whole hotel room was dark with only the bedside lamp igniting, but still, the city lights that could be seen from the glass wall of the room were enough to light up the space. When Keanu's eyes finally met the brunette's brown ones, Debbie instantly knew that he had been crying. She never ever wanted to hurt him that bad because in the course of their marriage, he had been a good husband. But still, she could not pretend anymore and if she ever does so, she knew that it would just hurt him even more.

"What did you say?" Keanu asked, his words slurring across his tongue as he tried to hold himself together.

Debbie gulped, "I want a divorce." She uttered again with so much finality.

Keanu looked at her, with those lonely eyes Debbie couldn't seem to fathom. He eventually ended up sitting on the bed as he hung his head low. In all of his attempts to keep pretending he didn't know, there Debbie was, standing by his door, asking for a divorce. It's game over now and his heart sunk as he silently cried. Debbie wanted to undo the scene as she saw Keanu's tears spilling down onto the marbled floor of the room. She felt sorry, badly felt sorry for him, but Lou was the real owner of her heart and she couldn't do anything about it anymore.

Debbie remained to where she was, waiting for her husband's reply, but instead of an answer, all she saw was the crashing of the glass. Keanu broke down and threw the glass across the mirror in front. The mirror and the glass shattered and half of the room had been littered with shards of glasses. The brunette flinched as the sounds of the glasses shattering filled her ears, but her eyes just couldn't escape the heartbreaking scene of her husband silently crying on the bed.

"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did. Tell me about you cheating, about you staining our marriage, about you breaking your wedding vows and let me love you anyways. Let me love you still and I promise I will forget all those. We can start all over again." He cried as he gave her an agonizing glance, "Don't do this."

"I was not honest to you. Didn't tell you about my past."

"I don't care." He replied, "I know everything now."

"I still love her, Keanu." Debbie finally confessed, and she watched as his eyes shoned in its most painful manner, "I love Lou. Still do after all these years. I am sorry. I am sorry for everything that I had caused you, but believe me, I loved you. When I saw you and the way you made me feel, all those - I really did love you. In the course of our marriage, before meeting Lou again, I loved you, but damn it, I thought I was already over her, but I was mistaken. I tried. I tried to hold my feelings back." Debbie started sobbing by the door as she tried to let everything out, "I tried to unlove her. I tried to even love you more, but I just could not. My heart is too stubborn and believe me, if I had the chance, I would not even dare to hurt you. But I want you to understand that this is a battle between my heart and I; and the heart wants what it wants, love. You know that."

Her husband shook his head as he digested every word that Debbie uttered. He felt his sole slowly melting onto the ground and his whole body was shaking as the pain wrapped him gradually. Keanu wanted to hurt her, to hurt Debbie just so he could justify how hurt he was, but he just couldn't. He loved her wholly. He loved her genuinely and he couldn't dare to hurt her, in any way and so on the bed, Keanu cried because he knew he lost her already. On the bed, he sobbed like a pitiful child who was abandoned by his parents. He knew that with Debbie asking for a divorce, there was no turning back.

"I'm sorry." And how Debbie ended up kneeling in front of him, cupping his face, trying to make him look at her was a blur, "I am really sorry. I am sorry."

"How could you do this to me? To us?" Keanu whispered as he held Debbie's shaking hands and pushed it down.

Debbie bit her lip as she paused before she looked at him and uttered the words that really broke him apart, "She's my everything. And I love her. I love her so much."

And Lou - Lou was the knife stabbing Keanu to death. She was the aqua tofana that he never drank, yet he felt like dying. With those words, he felt so incompetent - as if the world was crashing down on him and he could not do anything about it. He slowly tilted his head as he cried and looked at her, almost begging Debbie with his sorrowful eyes.

"I cannot compete with her, can I?" He whispered, almost choking on his words as his tears continued to fall.

Debbie shook her head. Keanu nodded slyly before he wiped his tears and spit a vile proposal that made Debbie think if she could survive it or not.

"Take it or leave it, Debbie. But if you leave it, I swear I will be a bad man and will be putting Blaire at risk. After that, you're free. That's all I ask."

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